Okay, so I only made it 1 block, then started to panic. I was slogging, and I couldn't feel my right foot, leg, arm or hand and my heart started racing, and I wondered what would happen if I had a seizure (I've been feeling off), would anyone find me? How long would it take? I would end up in an ambulance all alone, in a hospital all alone, and I thought to myself, "Why am I pushing this?"
Last surgery it took 5 months to be able to slog a 10k. I haven't even walked alone yet and here I was on a journey around the lake which would require 45 minutes of running, door to door, at my pre-surgery pace. Sometimes I jump into things too quickly...
Hey everyone, this is Dan and I have commandeered this blog from Jessica. I came home early today to find Jess in a less then desirable state. She was completely exhausted, stressed to the limit, and still trying to finish her blog. Although the parameters will need to be discussed, I feel it is necessary to institute another technology blackout. Jess feels extremely guilty when she does not respond to texts and emails, or puts off blogging for too long. As with everything in her life she needs to be 100% in (or out in this case). If she is going to answer one email she will answer 100. She loves communicating with friends and family, and appreciates all the support, but sometimes her love for gab gets in the way of her healing. Jessica's recovery is so vastly different from her first surgery that it can trick you into thinking she is farther along then she is. Because she is doing so well physically its hard for me to remember that she is still only roughly five weeks removed from brain surgery.
As with the cancer in general, you do not see the area that is hurting. There are no bandages or limps to identify the problem, just an attempt at understanding the intricacies of her healing brain. Many times I have misjudged Jess's comfort levels and stamina because her physical and communication skills can take her far past the end of her cognitive stamina.. Unfortunately, I usually do not know I have misjudged her comfort level until it is too late and she is burnt out. Jess is still attempting to get back to the routine of her normal life, and sometimes responding to the number of emails and texts she receives can take up a day in itself. She receives more emails and texts in one day, then i do in a week.
I hope that this will give everyone an understanding of why we are restricting Jessica's technological outlets for a bit. It is not just because I am mean, I promise. I am sure that she will be back at it within half the timeline we agree on, but it will give her some time to relax and catch up on much needed rest. She hopes everyone understands her silence, and thanks you all for your support.
'till the next technological intervention, Dan.
P.S. I have been writing this for roughly ten minutes and Jess is already asleep.
