Happy New Year

I received the perfect gift on the last day of 2011. I was able to spend the morning with my brother, his wife Courtney, and their two children Isla and Wade/Toby (mom calls him Toby and dad calls him Wade). 

Courtney, Wade/Toby, me & Isla

 Isla & me down by Green Lake

My newest nephew Wade/Toby

This year has been a serious journey. It started as I finished up my final speech therapy sessions. Then, I had the chance to visit Jess & Dre in Abu Dhabi. In February, Dan and I shared vows beneath the Eiffel Tower during a 24 hour layover in Paris. In the spring I was able to create a presentation and share my brain cancer story with three different Rotary clubs around Washington. In the summer, I had the chance to visit my Polish relatives, and hug, bond, laugh, explore, and fall in love with them. Soon after, arriving home, Danny and I signed a legal marriage certificate. He's all miiiiiiineee!! Woo hoo!! Three days later, unrelated, I started having seizures and worried that my health may be declining. The next MRI showed our worst fears were correct. Little Herman, the tumor in my brain, was getting taller and fatter, faster than most of his peers. Instead of following my radiation oncologist's recommendation, I refused radiation and immediately started an alternative supplement program with artemisinin, completely changed my diet, amped up my cardio, and added strength training. Within 9.5 weeks I'd lost 19 lbs. I'm currently feeling wonderful, and I'll find out in less than two weeks, if my program is effective in keeping little Herman at bay. 

Along the way I've had friends support me with fundraisers, loving emails, text messages, cards, photos, hugs, and laughter. Even though I know that I am a person living with brain cancer I feel happier than I ever have in my life. I have everything to live for, and I am so grateful for all of your support. Thank you for helping me have another wonderful year! I enjoyed every single day. Even the challenging ones. I hope to share many more stories in the coming twelve months. 

Please have a fabulously hilarious and awesome New Year's Eve! Please be safe, and know that you're loved. So don't do anything stupid like drive drunk! :) 

Cheers to another amazing year!!

Divalproex Is The Devil

The past few days have been tough. The family has been researching different alternative medicine, different unusual treatments that are being used in other countries. We're lead to them by other brain tumor patients who have had success. It's wonderful, and yet at the same time I feel overwhelmed.

In the meantime, we're trying to get appointments with a neuro-oncologist to deal with my anti-seizure medicine. The side effects are too extreme for me. I'm grumpy almost all of the time, depressed for no reason. I'm trying to keep a happy face, but I'm just having such a hard time functioning. There are lots of other anti-seizure medicine out there, so I'm hoping that we can find a better fit. If I can't find a good fit, I might just get off the medicine and elect to avoid driving and other activities that would be dangerous for a seizure ridden person. I feel crazy. I'm definitely not myself. My radiation oncologist already told me that anti-seizure medicine (for a person with my diagnosis) may not even change a thing to avoid an episode. With that lingering in my head, I'm not going to lose myself in medication at this cost.

One more thing. I'm sure it's nothing, but I had an atypical mole removed on my chest and the pathology came back positive. I now have to go back in for more digging to remove the areas around the mole and have it sent for even further testing. I'm feeling fine about the results, especially after having friends share some scary stories about precancerous mole episodes, it's just not fun.

Normally I could shake things off, but right now I'm just in a funk. I'm funky. My vision is blurry, I can't shake my head quickly, I'm groggy, I sleep over 15 hours a day/night, and my eyes are watering, but I'm not crying about anything. I'm not sad, I'm just emotional. I HATE PILLS. Specifically, divalproex (depakote).