Saturday, November 11, 2017

Triannual MRI Results

Things always change in a blink.

Yesterday I was Googling hair styles, trying to decide if I had the balls to rock shorter hair to match those little post surgery stragglers. I had no reason to believe that there were problems in my brain. I mean, ya, this dome has problems for sure, but I didn't think there were tumor problems.

Apparently, I was wrong.

Soooooo, they want me to do another brain surgery. In three months.

I'm not kidding.

Another surgery? Two brain surgeries in nine months?!?! But I don't even have a glioblastoma. What the hell is happening?

I wish you could see the look of disbelief on my face.

I'm still waiting for the written radiology report, before I truly panic. Actually, I'm probably not going to panic anyway. I mean, what's the point.

So. What do I do? I want to start with the basics: lower my inflammation, increase my anti-cancer regiment, dose up my off-labels, be consistent with my meditation, my exercise, lower my stress, and my worrying. And I kicked that mean girl out of my head. I don't know if you have one, but I do, and she's a real B. She says things like, "You don't deserve good health, you can't even function in society. You can't even have a career. You can't even have a kid. You can't even drive a car. What good are you? Look at how much help you need, you're a drain, always taking. Just give up. You don't deserve to live."

I'm serious, she's really mean.

So she's gone. Eff her. I don't have to listen to her lies. I wish I would have kicked her out a long time ago.

Anytime I get life shifts like this, it launches me to a new level of personal best. I have no idea what I'm going to learn, what I'm going to explore, or how it will all unfold, but I'm here. I'm excited. I'm curious. I have no idea why this is my path, my journey, or why these are my struggles, but they're mine to live and experience.

I wonder where this is going to take me now...

PS I'm open to suggestions. Please leave ideas in the comments section. I will be managing very limited emails and calls. And it would be really helpful to keep the information in one place to stay organized. Even if you think it's something I've done in the past, that's okay! I can't remember all of the things I've tried. Your help would be incredible. You can even post a comment anonymously.

Thank for helping me. Yet again. (Wink and a kiss.)


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