Daily Routine Revamp

Thank you friends, for your patience; I finally updated my Daily Routine on the blog! People ask me, quite often, what my supplements are, what I dose, how often, the reasoning, the effects, etc. and it's such an exhaustive schedule that I've been working on this for a few weeks. Maybe even months, it blurs. 

In our house we have more supplements than food :)

I've hesitated about naming labels, and giving all of this information because obviously, I'm not a doctor, or a nutritionist. I paid a lot for most of my information, for example my spendy nutritionist, and I feel bad bypassing professionals that I respect. I realize it may interfere with their livelihood. I also don't want to endorse a specific brand, and in the past, I felt that naming my brands in turn was endorsing. But whatever, I've done so much freaking research that I might as well share and save my tumor buddies the trouble. This brain tumor life is incredibly expensive. This isn't a hobby. This isn't a business. This is our lives - it's literally about surviving - and if I can help people, I'm going to do it.

Here's the exact page copied below, with the disclaimer and all. Please let me know if you have any questions, or comments. The scheduling is based directly around my chlorotoxin, that's why it's all timed out. Some of the pills are specifically dosed apart, and similarly, together for maximum efficacy. Others are taken in the morning or around noon because they induce energy, and have to work out of my system so I can sleep at night. Remember that many of these supplements are based on my regular blood work, so don't take it as a list of what you should personally do (although *wink wink* a lot of it is also great generic tumor fighting stuff). This information is just for you to see my schedule.

Daily Routine

I work directly with a nutritionist who monitors my blood levels which dictates the supplements on my list. I have added a couple, or upped my doses, in some cases, but I continue to work with accredited individuals to keep me safe and healthy. I do not recommend following my protocol because your body may be deficient or have excesses which are different than mine. You need to do a unique protocol based on your individual bodily needs. If you want to use my nutritionist, please see the tab titled: My Doctors.

With that being said, I follow this protocol Monday-Friday. On weekends, or on travel days, I do a modified version since I'm often not home and won't have my blender, and can't carry all the refrigerated powders/pills etc. I figure that doing this protocol 71% of the time is pretty damn good. When you start scrolling down you might be overwhelmed, but it's actually a great routine. I'm used to it now, and the scheduling makes it easy to go about my day. It becomes automatic. Best of all, it's one helluva tumor killing concoction!

Please note that this schedule will change and adjust as new blood work is evaluated every three months. 




7:00 am

• 2 Bromelain/4800 mg GDU with water on empty stomach (anti-inflammatory, reduces tumor invasion/migration, boosts immunity, blocks the production of PGE2, reduces radiation side effects) - Metabolic Maintenance Bromelain

7:30 am

• 5 Longvida Curcumin/2500 mg with water on empty stomach (anti-inflammatory, induces glioma apoptosis, anti-proliferative, arrests tumor cell cycle, promotes differentiation, sensitizes glioma cells to radiation & chemo) - ProHealth Optimized Curcumin Longvida

8:00 am

• 6 grams Ip-6 in water on empty stomach (promotes differentiation, inhibits angiogenesis, chelates excess copper & iron) - Source Naturals IP-6

• 30 drops samento/1.5 ml TOA free (boosts immune system, increased vitality, great for low grades - slowing tumor growth, protective agent against chemo & rad effects) - NutraMedix Samento

8:30 am

• Chlorotoxin

9:00 am Breakfast
Breakfast Smoothie Recipe - To swollow pills with:
(Fat 27 g, Carb 14 g, Protein 13 g : Calories 297)

• 1/4 aloe vera juice (aides in absorption/digestion of nutrients) - Lakewood Organic Cold Pressed Pure Aloe

• 3/4 filtered water

• 1 tsp vanilla pure rice protein (keeps blood glucose stable, facilitates new cell growth, prevents wasting) - NutriBiotic Raw Organic Rice Protein Vanilla

• 2/3 scoop antioxidant micro-greens (promotes gene stability, suppresses oncogenes, upregulates tumor suppressor genes) - AmaZing GrassGreen Superfood Goji & Aci

• 1 tbsp fish oil (anti-inflammatory, immune booster, inhibits proliferation, anti-glioma) - Carlson Norwegian Cod Liver Oil

• 2 tsp coconut oil (aids in absorption of amino acids, minerals, vitamins, great omega-3, promotes energy, boosts metabolism) - Nutiva Coconut Oil Virgin Organic

• 9 g/1 tbsp chlorella (chelates copper, heavy metals, pesticides, and toxins, alleviates fatigue, immune booster, supports liver function, adds a little protein) - Now Certified Organic Chlorella Pure Powder

• 1 tsp matcha - green tea powder (apoptosis, anti-proliferative, anti-angiogenesis, sensitizes glioma cells, potentiates radiation) - NuSci Green Tea Extract (100% Polyphenol, 51% EGCG)

• 1 tsp taurine (seizure control, anti-inflammatory, anti-glioma) - Life Extension L-Taurine Powder

• 2 inches of peeled ginger root (induces apoptosis in glioma cells, anti-inflammatory)

• juice of half a lemon & 2 inches lemon peel (stimulate liver, induces glioma differentiation, anti-invasive, apoptosis)

• 1/4 avocado (smooths texture, pantothenic acid - helps fats absorb, fiber, anti-inflammatory, spectrum of carotinoids, lowers cholesterol, regulates blood sugar)

Breakfast Pills:

• 1 metformin/500 mg (regulates blood glucose, sensitizes glioma cells, targets cancer stem cells) - by prescription

• 1 berberine/500 mg (glioma apoptosis, radiosensitizer, enhances chemo, lowers blood glucose, anti-inflammatory, blocks angiogenesis) - Leaner Living Glycosolve

• 4 boswellia/1027 mg boswelic acids (anti-inflammatory, reduces brain edema, induces apoptosis, cytotoxic to glioma, inhibits leukotrienes) - Tattva's Herbs Boswellia

• 1/2 tsp Poly-MVA (been shown to slow/stop glioma growth) - AMARC Enterprises

• 6 drops CoQ10 (lowers blood pressure, neuroprotective, reduces headaches, boosts immune system) - Q-Gel Li-Q-sorb Drops

• 4 ashwaganhda/60 mg withanolides (stress relieving, fights insomnia, fatigue, depression, memory loss, anxiety, lowers inflammation, radiosensitizer, raises WBC, WBC & platelet counts, increases hemoglobin, stimulates immune system) - NutriGold Ashwagandha

• 8 maitake D-fraction/576 mg active proteogucan (boosts immune function, complements chemo, induces apoptosis, sensitizes tumor cells) - Mushroom Wisdom Maitake D-Fraction Pro

• 2 green tea extract/656.5 EGCG 710 polyphenols (apoptosis, anti-proliferative, sensitizes glioma cells, anti-angiogenesis, potentiates radiation) - Life Extension Mega Green Tea Extract

• 2 resveratrol/500 mg Japanese knotweed (anti-inflammatory, apoptosis, anti-proliferative, anti-angiogenic, anti-mutagenic, protects platelets, cytotoxic to glioma, promotes differentiation, sensitizes glioma cells to chemo & rad, neuroprotective, reduces seizures) - Life Extension Optimized Resveratrol

• 10,000 IU vitamin D (promotes differentiation, detoxes, balances neurotransmitters, boosts immune response, cytotoxic to glioma, increases tumor suppressor genes, apoptosis, reduces oncogenes) - Thorne Research Liquid Vitamin D/K2

• 1 vascustatin/750 mg (anti-angiogenesis, boosts immunity) - Allergy Research VascuStatin

• 1 probiotic/42 billion cells (supports the immune system, aides in digestion, stimulates the production of butyrate - a potent anti-glioma compound, supports the creation & synthesis of vitamins, protect us from yeast) - Flora Super 8 Hi-Potency Probiotic

• 1 zinc/50 mg (competes with copper, boosts immunity, induces apoptosis in glioma, enhances chemo) - Now Zinc

12:30 pm

• Chlorotoxin

1:00 pm Lunch
Lunch Smoothie Recipe - To swollow pills with: 
(Fat 28 g, Carb 16 g, Protein 15 g : Calories 317)

• 1/4 aloe vera juice (aides in absorption/digestion of nutrients) - Lakewood Organic Cold Pressed Pure Aloe

• 3/4 filtered water

• 1 tsp vanilla pure rice protein (keeps blood glucose stable, facilitates new cell growth, prevents wasting) - NutriBiotic Raw Organic Rice Protein Vanilla

• 2/3 scoop antioxidant micro-greens (promotes gene stability, suppresses oncogenes, upregulates tumor suppressor genes) - AmaZing GrassGreen Superfood Goji & Aci

• 1 tbsp fish oil (anti-inflammatory, immune booster, inhibits proliferation, anti-glioma) - Carlson Norwegian Cod Liver Oil

• 1 tsp coconut oil (aids in absorption of amino acids, minerals, vitamins, great omega-3, promotes energy, boosts metabolism) - Nutiva Coconut Oil Virgin Organic

• 9 g/1 tbsp chlorella (chelates copper, heavy metals, pesticides, and toxins, alleviates fatigue, immune booster, supports liver function, adds a little protein) - Now Certified Organic Chlorella Pure Powder

• 1 tsp matcha - green tea powder (apoptosis, anti-proliferative, anti-angiogenesis, sensitizes glioma cells, potentiates radiation) - NuSci Green Tea Extract (100% Polyphenol, 51% EGCG)

• 1 tsp taurine (seizure control, anti-inflammatory, anti-glioma) - Life Extension L-Taurine Powder

• 2 inches of peeled ginger root (induces apoptosis in glioma cells, anti-inflammatory)

• juice of half a lemon & 2 inches lemon peel (stimulate liver, induces glioma differentiation, anti-invasive, apoptosis)

• 1/4 avocado (smooths texture, pantothenic acid - helps fats absorb, fiber, anti-inflammatory, spectrum of carotinoids, lowers cholesterol, regulates blood sugar)

• 5 Brazil nuts/570 mcg selenium (boosts immune system, induces apoptosis, anti-angiogenesis, anti-proliferative, stimulates WBCs, increases lymphocytes & NK cells, reduces headaches & seizures)

Lunch Pills:

• 1 berberine/500 mg (glioma apoptosis, radiosensitizer, enhances chemo, lowers blood glucose, anti-inflammatory, blocks angiogenesis) - Leaner Living Glycosolve

• 4 boswellia/1027 mg boswelic acids (anti-inflammatory, reduces brain edema, induces apoptosis, cytotoxic to glioma, inhibits leukotrienes) - Tattva's Herbs Boswellia

• 4 ashwaganhda/60 mg withanolides (stress relieving, fights insomnia, fatigue, depression, memory loss, anxiety, lowers inflammation, radiosensitizer, raises WBC, WBC & platelet counts, increases hemoglobin, stimulates immune system) - NutriGold Ashwagandha

• 2 green tea extract/656.5 EGCG 710 polyphenols (apoptosis, anti-proliferative, sensitizes glioma cells, anti-angiogenesis, potentiates radiation) - Life Extension Mega Green Tea Extract

• 2 resveratrol/500 mg Japanese knotweed (anti-inflammatory, apoptosis, anti-proliferative, anti-angiogenic, anti-mutagenic, protects platelets, cytotoxic to glioma, promotes differentiation, sensitizes glioma cells to chemo & rad, neuroprotective, reduces seizures) - Life Extension Optimized Resveratrol

• 4 alkylglycerols/200 mg (inhibits glioma cells, improves delivery of chemo, raises platelets, slow tumor growth, immunostimulatory, anti-proloferative, anti-angiogenic) - Ecomer Shark Liver Oil

• 3 prolonged release vitamin C/3,000 mg (boosts immunity, increases NK production, inhibits glioma invasion, anti-angiogenic, regenerates collagen, inhibition of IGF-1, induces apoptosis, lowers cholesterol) - PCC Ultra Citro CEE 1000 mg Prolonged Release

• 1 probiotic/42 billion cells (supports the immune system, aides in digestion, stimulates the production of butyrate - a potent anti-glioma compound, supports the creation & synthesis of vitamins, protect us from yeast) - Flora Super 8 Hi-Potency Probiotic

• 1 zinc/50 mg (competes with copper, boosts immunity, induces apoptosis in glioma, enhances chemo) - Now Zinc

4:00 pm

• 30 drops samento/1.5 ml TOA free (boosts immune system, increased vitality, great for low grades - slowing tumor growth, protective agent against chemo & rad effects) - NutraMedix Samento

4:30 pm

• Chlorotoxin

5:00 pm Dinner
Dinner Pills:

• 1 metformin/500 mg (regulates blood glucose, sensitizes glioma cells, targets cancer stem cells) - Prescription

• 1 berberine/500 mg (glioma apoptosis, radiosensitizer, enhances chemo, lowers blood glucose, anti-inflammatory, blocks angiogenesis) - Leaner Living Glycosolve

• 4 boswellia/1027 mg boswelic acids (anti-inflammatory, reduces brain edema, induces apoptosis, cytotoxic to glioma, inhibits leukotrienes) - Tattva's Herbs Boswellia

• 2 green tea extract/656.5 EGCG 710 polyphenols (apoptosis, anti-proliferative, sensitizes glioma cells, anti-angiogenesis, potentiates radiation) - Life Extension Mega Green Tea Extract

• 2 resveratrol/500 mg Japanese knotweed (anti-inflammatory, apoptosis, anti-proliferative, anti-angiogenic, anti-mutagenic, protects platelets, cytotoxic to glioma, promotes differentiation, sensitizes glioma cells to chemo & rad, neuroprotective, reduces seizures) - Life Extension Optimized Resveratrol

• 1 vascustatin/750 mg (anti-angiogenesis, boosts immunity) - Allergy Research VascuStatin

• 4 alkylglycerols/200 mg (inhibits glioma cells, improves delivery of chemo, raises platelets, slow tumor growth, immunostimulatory, anti-proloferative, anti-angiogenic) - Ecomer Shark Liver Oil

• 3 prolonged release vitamin C/3,000 mg (boosts immunity, increases NK production, inhibits glioma invasion, anti-angiogenic, regenerates collagen, inhibition of IGF-1, induces apoptosis, lowers cholesterol) - PCC Ultra Citro CEE 1000 mg Prolonged Release

• 25,000 IU Vitamin A (anti-proliferative, promotes differentiation, boosts immune system, anti-glioma) - Vital Nutrients Vitamin A (from fish liver oil)

• 1 probiotic/42 billion cells (supports the immune system, aides in digestion, stimulates the production of butyrate - a potent anti-glioma compound, supports the creation & synthesis of vitamins, protect us from yeast) - Flora Super 8 Hi-Potency Probiotic

• 1 zinc/50 mg (competes with copper, boosts immunity, induces apoptosis in glioma, enhances chemo) - Now Zinc

8:30 pm

• Chlorotoxin

9:00 pm Bedtime
Bedtime Pills:

• 1 naltraxone/4.5 mg (apoptosis during glioma cell division, increases NK cell production) - by prescription

• 1 lg clove of garlic minced 15 minutes prior to ingestion (protentiates naltraxone, anti-glioma, anti-bacterial, boosts immune system)

• 2 melatonin/20 mg (inhibitory effect against glioma, improves chemo & radiation, boosts immune function, promotes sleep, boosts immunotherapies, reduces seizures) - Life Extension Melatonin

• 12 drops molybdenum/300 mcg (empty stomach: chelates copper, with food:inhibits absorption, inhibits angiogenesis) - BodyBio Molybdenum

• 2 Bromelain/4800 mg GDU with water on empty stomach (anti-inflammatory, reduces tumor invasion/migration, boosts immunity, blocks the production of PGE2, reduces radiation side effects) - Metabolic Maintenance Bromelain

• 5 thymus sprays (boosts immune function, inhibits glioma proliferation, boosts creation of T-cells) - Xtra-Cell Thymus nf Douglas Laboratories

Synergising Treatments

How awesome is my friend Sara? She's THAT awesome! Remember my self promoting t-shirt from my very first race? How embarrassing. You guys are so nice to put up with me! Thank you for cheering me back to normal; for sending me ass-kicking energy. Thank you!! I have such a killer team...no pun intended. I can not wait for the big wake for Hermie, a massive party when we can dance and get goofy. There WILL be a day when the cancer is gone. He just doesn't know who he is messing with, not just me, but my rallying troops. We are a force!

In a few minutes I'm headed for my 1.5 mile run to the bus stop, then a 40 minute bus ride to get my high dose vitamin C IV. I have a new system, it's important to hone my schedule of pills, making each dose work with the other supplements or IVs so that they're working synergistically, multiplying the effectiveness. On IV days, I take 10 bioavailable curcumin & 6 piperine, then thirty minutes later, I take 18 homemade sulforaphane pills. One hour after that I am hooked up to my IV. I'm out of my high dose sprout smoothie (gotta wait until my parents grow some more), but when I have more of that, I'll add that in to the mix. The isothiocyanates work with the IV's, especially the curcumin and resveratrol. This whole protocol is intricate and takes serious scheduling - but it's incredibly exciting! 

I have to focus on increasing the efficacy of the IVs, that's why I'm working my supplements around the IV days. At this point, the IVs are $735 per week, and the chemo drink - which we're rolling into pills - cost $40 per drink. So, just with these two treatments, we're pushing $1015 per week. Fighting cancer the natural way is incredibly expensive, but it's effective. Every treatment that we're exhausting has been proven through scientific experiments. They all fight brain cancer or I wouldn't be doing it. The creme de la creme, though, in alternative treatments for brain cancer is dendritic cell therapy which costs, when completed (all three rounds), around $45,000 and lasts for about 14 months. We're meeting with my doctor on Wednesday after my last IV for the day, to get more information. They take some tissue from my tumor specimen (I called around to various departments at the UW last week and found my tumor,  a complete miracle since my surgery was over two years ago), and they create a personal vaccine. Pretty impressive stuff which has about a 50% success rate, and can be combined with all of my current treatments and supplements. 

The expense of all these supplements, IVs, and treatments are obviously mind-boggling, but if we're smart, we will only include the most effective choices and they should work together to get me healthy. I keep hearing from friends, and family, that money should not be a reason to avoid a treatment. Get the treatment and then money will come later. Danny and I figure that we will be paying off my medical bills, happily, well into our golden years. The expense of treatments used to completely freak me out, but lately I don't care as much. I need to get healthy, and once Hermie has left the building, I will write my monthly checks for payment with a big glossy smile. The money thing IS scary, let's face it. Money is important in order to afford life's necessities, and then above that, it's important in order to have luxuries like children. But, Danny and I realize that as long as we're healthy and alive, we will be happy under any circumstance, as long as we're together. 

Navigating, Always Navigating

On Friday, I was walking between doctor appointments and passed a bush of wild-ish roses. The smell was intoxicating. I find that since I don't drive, I notice so many beautiful things each day, things that I wouldn't have noticed if I was whizzing by in my car. It's a much slower pace of life, and it's a gift. 

I'm completely overwhelmed lately. I have a wonderful new primary care doctor, and a fabulous naturopath, but I'm still reeling from all of the information and reality of my new treatments. Suddenly, my cancer seems painfully undeniable. I've been galevanting around Green Lake, taking care of myself with the low doses of artemisinin and diet, and I thought that I was really fighting Herman, but compared to the other cancer patients that I'm meeting, there's so much more that I could do. That I have to do, and, all of a sudden I feel catipulted into the cancer world. Before, I realize, I had one foot in and one foot out.

There are so many treatment options, and I need to exhaust them all, all at the same time. In about an hour I'll jog to a bus stop. By jogging a couple of miles, I'll avoid having to take two more busses. I'll head to my naturopath's office to start the first high dose vitamin C IV. On Friday they had to draw blood to make sure that my body could handle all the things that they'll be injecting. I'm currently downing an intense sprout smoothie which should work synergistically with the IV treatment. It's all about timing and combining, so I'm adding various things to increase the effectiveness. It's enough to make a person crazy.

I've just finished ordering some various equipment to create our amazing chemo drink, and now I'm just trying to figure out what to do next. We have to start growing a sprout farm, literally, in our house because it takes several trays to create just one morning drink, and I'm supposed to drink it every day. And that's just the sprout drink, in the evening it's time for the chemo drink. Between those two creations, I'll be going back and fourth with the IVs (curcumin, vitamin C, resveratrol), supplements, and possibly the artemisinin (it should be synergistic according to my naturopath). Oh ya, and the fun part, I need to get a port surgically implanted into my chest for all of the IV treatments.

I'm trying to be cool, but I don't even know how to organize all of my treatments, the growing of the sprouts, the ordering of pills, the busses to treatments, the management of our household, aaaaaaaahhhhh, I'm going to spontaneously combust before I've even begun. 

Juggling Act

I am so incredibly frustrated. This happens lately with each reoccurring MRI, they juggle me around, calling the week prior to change things. They change up my appointments, cancel on me, or switch me to see nurses instead of my doctors, and it's incredibly frustrating! They don't even ask! We schedule my MRIs three months in advance. My parents take time off of work, travel to Seattle to be with me, and Danny takes time off of work.

This time, at the last minute (I still consider a week to be last minute in these trying times), they called to tell me that my neuro-oncologist is no longer going to make my appointment, and that I will be meeting with his "very knowledgeable nurse." I believe there are nurses that know much more than doctors, but in the past, my experience has not been good. Each MRI appointment that was held with a nurse instead of the oncologist has been riddled with bad information. I'm sick of meeting with a nurse, then having to come back to meet with the doctor to get my questions answered. I'm done paying for multiple appointments. It's unnecessary. I only want to talk to my oncologist. If I can't meet with my oncologist, I might as well just get the MRI and review it myself. The nurses always have to refer to the doctor to get my questions answered anyway, as they are very technical - or if you recall during the last MRI review, the nurse said my brain tumor was growing significantly when it actually remained the same exact size (10 x 16 x 9). I'm done with the roller coaster of misinformation. I realize that there will be errors, that medical professions are human, but I'm not going to pay hundreds of dollars to someone who may or may not know what they're talking about.

As a patient, I am a customer. I have hired my doctor to provide a service, which is to review my MRI with me and answer any questions I might have. It is irresponsible to cancel a meeting, and contract out the job to a less qualified (although surely nice) person. This cancer patient seems to get pushed around by her doctors. I hope that I'm the only one. It's overwhelmingly frustrating, right in a time when I least need more stress.

I left a message for the nurse who cancelled the appointment with my neuro-oncologist (she did it over a voicemail no less), letting her know that, "Yes, actually, I do have a problem meeting with the nurse practitioner, it's not personal, but I've hired the doctor to meet with me and review my MRI. My family is traveling from out of town, they've reserved hotels since I can't accommodate everyone. My husband has asked for time off, and in this economy, that's risky. We anticipate these appointments and take them very seriously; this brain tumor is our whole life, everything revolves around these appointments. I realize that the doctor has different priorities, but this cancer is incredibly overwhelming and I wish we would be shown a little more respect. We are willing to meet with the doctor any time throughout the day, surely there's a few moments when he can squeeze us in and honor our appointment."

If my new (yep, he's my new guy - I've only met with him once) neuro-oncologist is too booked up to meet with me, they shouldn't have allowed him to take me on as a new patient. I realize that I'm probably annoying since I'm very hands on, and that I always come with all sorts of questions, but I take my health very seriously. I mean, think about it, I've been told that this cancer is going to kill me, that I should not have children - I'm basically in a holding pattern, waiting for the next shoe to drop. I am astounded that this is how they treat someone who is fighting for their life. Although I do a lot of research about my cancer, my options, clinical trials, western, complementary and alternative treatments, etc., I also want to tap into the brain of my neuro-oncologist to answer my questions. I have a few non-negotiables: I will not over pay, or get double billed anymore (like an appointment with the nurse just to have to make another appointment with the doctor to get my questions answered), and I will not be pushed around with appointments. If they can't meet with me then I will need to find a new doctor (of course I won't tell THEM that - who knows if they'd even care).

I was so worked up just now that I had to walk into the kitchen and try a new recipe. It's was forwarded to me from a friend, and although I've tweaked it, it still has the same bones.

Turmeric Tea
1/2 Teaspoon ground turmeric (curcumin)
1/2 Lime (squeezed)
*Add agave, or stevia if you'd like
*Add milk if you'd like

If you don't appreciate Indian food, you may not enjoy this tea, but man, I swear it is scrumptious. I'm a tea fanatic, I actually have a whole drawer full of various teas, and I'm always excited to try new stuff. This drink is special since turmeric is known to kill cancer cells. It's pretty hard to ingest enough to actually kill cancer, but if you start sticking the root or the powder in everything, it sure makes it more likely! I also took two BioPerine pills (black pepper extract). Black pepper aids in the absorption of turmeric. Some people add milk to the tea, but I don't think it needs it. Another note, you'll want to continuously stir it, as the powder settles.

Sorry, for complaining throughout this entire post. I'm frustrated that I get so worked up about this stuff. I wish I didn't care, that I wouldn't have so many questions, that I didn't need to be integrally involved in my care. I wish I could just do whatever the doctors say, and be satisfied. It certainly would be much easier. The thing is, I just absolutely can not do it. I always need it to add up, I need reasons, and I need individualized care. Each cancer fighter is dealing with a unique situation. Patients react differently to mirrored treatments. Each tumor even in the same category is different. They grow differently, the characteristics may be similar, but they manifest in their own way. It is ingrained into my being that I will not survive if I am pooped through the medical system on a one-size-fits-all conveyor belt.

I believe that someday I won't need to take these MRIs so seriously. Someday my MRIs will be an afterthought, or non-existent. Unfortunately, in the meantime, I'm probably going to continue to be the friendly, yet annoying, cancer patient.

Just A Chapter

Two days ago I couldn't stay awake for more than 4 hours at a time. If you think about it, it's kind of hilarious. I'm like a child sometimes. Yesterday I did high doses of curcumin, piperine and then followed it up with a sulforaphane drink. There's a picture below of the concoction in process. I wasn't able to finish it all, but I didn't throw up so that's progress! I took a big gulp again this morning, and almost lost it. I've saved the final gulp to finish later today or tomorrow morning. My stomach is in complete knots. The only thing I can handle right now is hot tea. I'm okay with that though. The whole point is to keep the drink down, so who cares if it makes me sick, as long as I don't barf. 

A few minutes ago, through the pouring rain, I jogged the lake. I needed a challenge. I've been so damn tired, and for a second, I started to feel a little better. Seizing the moment, I tossed on some running shoes and a hat, snagged Emma's leash, and took off around Green Lake. Oddly, my stomach loosened up as I ran. The rain was refreshing, and reminded me of how fortunate I am to be able to run again. I thought about the long journey after the brain surgeries. This brain tumor is just going to be a chapter in my life, not the whole story. 

Fill It With Happiness

What a difference a day can make! Ever since I lost my cookies (I wish it was cookies, but more like curcumin, sulforaphane, piperine and such), I've been feeling better and better. My brother and his daughter Isla came by this morning, and we had the chance to have lunch with our buddy Burke.

Life is so complicated, and then in the very next moment, so beautiful and simple. Kaal, Isla and I walked down to Green Lake and tried to feed the ducks, seagulls, and any other feathery friend we could find, but alas it was raining and we ended up tossing peanuts into the air for no good reason other than our own laughter. Actually, that's a pretty damn good reason :) It was fun!

I'm so lucky. My only goal in life is to survive, and on that trail that I'm trying to blaze, I just want to be able to show my love to those around me. Hugs, kisses, laughter, and love - it's the whole point of living. My life would be so different if I wasn't battling cancer. This journey continuously reminds me of the true meaning of life. I don't want to take anything for granted. It's nice to just live in the moment. Life passes by so quickly, and there's joy in every moment. If you can't see it around you, just take a deep breath, close your eyes and think of something that makes you smile. Life is just that simple. You can make it anything you want, fill it with happiness.

Drink Effects: Video

My friend Meghan just saved me. I forgot to get Gatorade or any type of chaser for my drink. Thank God for Meghan. She is amazing. She ran to the store, then came to me. I'm about to vomit, which is very detrimental to this treatment, so this will be short and sweet...here's a little video I made after a suggestion from my Mahar (Meghan).

Baptized by Nature

Where has the day gone?! Oh well.

I am so happy! I just had enough energy to run around the lake and swing by PCC to get essentials to finish today's treatment. Good lord that felt amazing. It's misting outside, and as I ran, the rain on my face felt like I was being baptized by nature. It was beautiful. For a moment, it cleansed me of my fears, and absolved me. It was glorious.

Now it's time to do what I've been putting off.....the curcumin & piperine, followed by the sulforphane drink. Here's the first step....yummy....

Cocktail of Treatments

I am happily full. A change from the past few days. It's hard to avoid eating until 11:00 am and stop eating at 4:30 pm. But, I'm okay, I survived again, and happily, I just crammed an apple and a handful of mixed nuts into my mouth. I'm sipping on my broccoli tea, listening to Pearl Jam (it was on the radio). It is so nice to eat an apple, they're so crispy and delicious! YUM. Ambrosias are my favorite, but I also love a good pink lady or honeycrisp.

I have a few minutes before I need to jog around the lake, the long way, and swing by PCC to pick up my  whole milk and a healthy style Gatorade (the real stuff is full of synthetic sugar and food dyes). Today I take my 20 curcumin pills & 5 piperine, then twenty minutes later I blend special sprouts along with 30 pills of xymogen (broken open into the blender) and a little bit of water. I take that drink with whole milk or heavy cream, then I chase it with an electrolyte drink that helps smooth the tummy.

Last week when I was taking the drink, my parents came by and I had them try it (along with Danny). It was hilarious! It's the most horrid drink I've ever encountered. About an hour from ingesting it causes a crazy laxative effect (GROSS), and my dad and I were passing each other back and forth up the stairs to the bathroom. It's completely gross, but it's effective and that's all that matters. This is the special drink that our friends used to eradicate their brain tumor.

It is imperative that brain cancer fighters get together and share knowledge. We can save lives. People are surviving. There aren't very many because most follow their doctor's advice with standard of care even when it's proven to have little to no effect on survival. There are various treatments that have much more success than standard of care, and the information is out there on tumor blogs. Never give up. Don't be afraid to make your own path. You have to fight for yourself, fight for your life. If you come into opposition, which is very likely, stand your ground. I believe that my radiation oncologist, if he was diagnosed with the same cancer, would start researching everything he could to optimize his chance of survival. He is outspoken, extremely intelligent, and believes he is an expert in his field (which is true). Something tells me that he dives into things head on, and he would quickly become an expert on how to save his own life. But guess what, he doesn't have brain cancer and therefore does not have the energy or time or desire to devote his time. On a related note, here's another quote from my current book:

"The current medical system does not provide the best possible treatment for cancer patients, and especially not for those with brain tumors. In my own case, I would likely be dead if I had followed the advice of my neuro-oncologist. My prognosis was dismal. Rather than simply accept this small chance of success, a patient is better advised to look beyond the standard protocol for additional treatments. Different treatments have different mechanisms of action and the laws of probability imply that the more treatments a patient uses, the greater the chances that at least one of them will succeed." - Ben Williams (Surviving "Terminal" Cancer)

I am just shocked by our cancer care in the United States. Everything is dictated by our government, specifically the FDA who favor pharmaceutical companies and their multi-million dollar trials. It's important for cancer patients to remember that just because there hasn't been a trial proving efficacy, that doesn't mean a treatment is ineffective. Cancer patients are taking their lives into their own hands, choosing to save themselves. If all of us cancer fighters band together and share knowledge, which they are doing, we can save ourselves. Screw these doctors that aren't trying to save our lives. We will just do it ourselves. I will not give up, no matter how many headaches, stomach aches, pain, frustration, exhaustion, or sacrifice. I will not give up, even though sometimes I want to climb under the covers, crying, with a 10 lb bag of peanut M&M's and a pint of Karmel Sutra from Ben & Jerry's.

Life makes me want to cry when I think of everyone dying because they can't stand up to their doctors. I am not saying that the doctors are bad people, they're just ignorant. They don't have the time to research the various options out there for cancer patients, and trust me there are many, many options. I'm continuously reminded that it's important to do a cocktail of treatments that work synergistically. It's just like health. If you just cut calories, you'll lose weight but you will lose muscle mass and you won't alleviate the initial problem of why you gained the weight in the first place. It is widely known that you need to change your diet, your life style, your exercise routine, and your mental state to successfully keep the weight off. There's no easy answer in life, success comes from a whole body approach and I believe that's true with everything.

Here's a photo from yesterday. Although my suet has not attracted any birds, my sweetheart neighbor Beth Ann moved her bird feeder out so that we can both enjoy the feathery cuties. Maybe it's time for me to take Elliot's advice and put something I like underneath my feeder. If only there was a way to hang it above our car, that would be perfect :) I bet I would quickly have a Hitchcock moment.

On another note, today is the anniversary of our vow sharing beneath the Eiffel Tower. (Our actual marriage became legal in July, when our friend Clay signed our certificate as a justice of the peace.) What a miracle of a man. Dan is a main reason why I work so hard, fight with such effort, and yearn to live. He treats me with such kindness, showering me with compliments each day, telling me how much he loves me constantly, loves me when I'm bald and bloody, and is always attracted to me despite obvious ailments (like staples on my head or stitches on my breast). He is my perfect man, and I am so grateful that I get to spend my life with him! I don't know how I am so lucky, but I will not take it for granted. He is my version of perfect. I'm so glad that I didn't settle for anything less than Danny. Now, I just need to find a way to enjoy his company for years and years and years. Danny literally knocks my socks of in every way. What a gift!

90-95% Of Cancer Rooted In Lifestyle/Environment

Almost Merry Christmas! Kind of, I'm two days early. It feels like Christmas (even though we don't have a tree). It's a combination of the smells outside (it's sooooo cold), and the lack of traffic outside our living room window. This is the first Christmas that Danny and I have had, just the two of us. I'm excited! It's not going to be the homemade cinnamon rolls that my mom always makes, but a green drink in pajamas will still be fun.

I finished the 4-4-4 last night and I'm so grateful. It was starting to make my stomach upset and the right side of my body was tingly. The tingles are good, that means it's working. My digestive system is still a little bit off, so I went for comfort food this morning. My old favorite toast with Dave's Good Seed Sprouted Bread, an egg (free range of course with no gross hormones in the chicken or its food) doused in tumeric, with a massive clove of garlic chopped on top. It is the first time I've had an egg in two months.

The toast still isn't sitting well, but I'm sure it'll even itself out. I'm going to wash it down with some broccoli tea and see what happens.

On a different note, thank you to everyone who donated to Matt's Movember quest. Thank you to those who've donated to the Islander's Bank account in Friday Harbor. Thank you for those of you who have already bought from the hopeforjess site on Etsy. Danny and I have been talking, constantly, about how fortunate we are. The money that you've donated has given us such a relief. We are still getting medical bills from 2010. Isn't that crazy?!?!? My goal is to continue to get healthier and healthier, treating my body with respect and kindness. I'm excited for this MRI because I believe my brain will look better than it did in October.

I believe I can beat this, and my confidence isn't based in hope alone, it's research backed. Dan and I were recently sent a thread from a cancer post, which included several research studies. Below is an excerpt which I found encouraging (to read the full post and access the research studies please click here):

Cancer is a Preventable Disease that Requires Major Lifestyle Changes
Abstract. This year, more than 1 million Americans and more than 10 million people worldwide are expected to be diagnosed with cancer, a disease commonly believed to be preventable. Only 5-10% of all cancer cases can be attributed to genetic defects, whereas the remaining 90-95% have their roots in the environment and lifestyle. The lifestyle factors include cigarette smoking, diet (fried foods, red meat), alcohol, sun exposure, environmental pollutants, infections, stress, obesity, and physical inactivity. The evidence indicates that of all cancer-related deaths, almost 25-30% are due to tobacco, as many as 30-35% are linked to diet, about 15-20% are due to infections, and the remaining percentage are due to other factors like radiation, stress, physical inactivity, environmental pollutants etc. Therefore, cancer prevention requires smoking cessation, increased ingestion of fruits and vegetables, moderate use of alcohol, caloric restriction, exercise, avoidance of direct exposure to sunlight, minimal meat consumption, use of whole grains, use of vaccinations, and regular check-ups. In this review we present evidence that inflammation is the link between the agents/factors that cause cancer and the agents that prevent it. In addition, we provide evidence that cancer is a preventable disease that requires major lifestyle changes. A more detailed discussion of dietary agents that can block inflammation and thereby provide chemopreventative effects is presented in the following section. Most carcinogens that are ingested, such as nitrates, nitrosamines, pesticides, and dioxins, come from food or food additives or from cooking.

If 90-95% of cancers are rooted in environment and lifestyle, shouldn't we be able to reverse most them? I still believe that my cell phone was to blame for my brain tumor. I think it was the radiation. Lots of people think I'm misguided, but I don't care. They don't do the research, and most people don't know to check WHO is doing the research. Most of the studies stating that cell phones are safe have been funded either directly or indirectly by the major companies that profit from them. Anyway, enough of my rant. Back to the cancer.

My body isn't going to right itself, I need to build up the Natural Killer cells, they're the little warriors of your immune system that go out and clean up tumor cells and viruses. It's been proven in studies that people with cancer have a depleted amount of NK cells. So, just by eating "clean" food will not, alone, fix my problem. This cancer is a whole body disease, it can not be eradicated with food alone. I need to build up my immune system, and cultivate my NK cells. With supplements you can increase your NK cells, and often after a period of supplementation, your body starts to create more on its own. I just need to train my body, and give it a jump start of sorts. Anyway, I think I'm getting to technical in all of this - sorry. I tend to get really excited about this stuff.

I want so badly to fix this cancer and help others. I don't mind doing the leg work. It would be my ultimate dream to get to the point where there is no detectable cancer in my body and then help others achieve the same outcome. That would be the ultimate. I can not imagine how wonderful that would feel, to replicate the success. But, first things first, I have to start with me.