Monday, May 21, 2012

Navigating, Always Navigating

On Friday, I was walking between doctor appointments and passed a bush of wild-ish roses. The smell was intoxicating. I find that since I don't drive, I notice so many beautiful things each day, things that I wouldn't have noticed if I was whizzing by in my car. It's a much slower pace of life, and it's a gift. 

I'm completely overwhelmed lately. I have a wonderful new primary care doctor, and a fabulous naturopath, but I'm still reeling from all of the information and reality of my new treatments. Suddenly, my cancer seems painfully undeniable. I've been galevanting around Green Lake, taking care of myself with the low doses of artemisinin and diet, and I thought that I was really fighting Herman, but compared to the other cancer patients that I'm meeting, there's so much more that I could do. That I have to do, and, all of a sudden I feel catipulted into the cancer world. Before, I realize, I had one foot in and one foot out.

There are so many treatment options, and I need to exhaust them all, all at the same time. In about an hour I'll jog to a bus stop. By jogging a couple of miles, I'll avoid having to take two more busses. I'll head to my naturopath's office to start the first high dose vitamin C IV. On Friday they had to draw blood to make sure that my body could handle all the things that they'll be injecting. I'm currently downing an intense sprout smoothie which should work synergistically with the IV treatment. It's all about timing and combining, so I'm adding various things to increase the effectiveness. It's enough to make a person crazy.

I've just finished ordering some various equipment to create our amazing chemo drink, and now I'm just trying to figure out what to do next. We have to start growing a sprout farm, literally, in our house because it takes several trays to create just one morning drink, and I'm supposed to drink it every day. And that's just the sprout drink, in the evening it's time for the chemo drink. Between those two creations, I'll be going back and fourth with the IVs (curcumin, vitamin C, resveratrol), supplements, and possibly the artemisinin (it should be synergistic according to my naturopath). Oh ya, and the fun part, I need to get a port surgically implanted into my chest for all of the IV treatments.

I'm trying to be cool, but I don't even know how to organize all of my treatments, the growing of the sprouts, the ordering of pills, the busses to treatments, the management of our household, aaaaaaaahhhhh, I'm going to spontaneously combust before I've even begun. 


  1. "So Cal" PattiMay 21, 2012 at 9:41 PM

    Definately a HUGE "full plate" of all the things you have to do, but after following your blog for the last two years I know that you can do it!!! I would do it for you if I could Jess-all of us love you and just want to see you back to perfect health again!!! There is a long bright future out there with your name on it- I just know it!!!

  2. That is more than I can imagine, and yet, there you are, stopping to smell the roses. Amazing. I think it's great that when you are frustrated and overwhelmed, you're able to just say it, to just put it out there. Doing so will give those feelings less power. And yet, I know the realities of what you're dealing with still remain, and I'm sure they are ever-changing. I continue to thank you for being so willing to share what you're going through. Please know that we are all listening, really listening, to all that you write, and we continue to hold you and your whole family in our prayers. Much love to you Jess. You're awesome.

  3. Jessica,
    Not sure how many Canadians are reading your blog, but you can add me to the list. I've now read it end to end. Funny actually, because i'm not an avid blog reader and I literally stumbled upon yours. But your captivating, conversational story telling has me hooked. I don't know you, of course, but i feel like I do.
    Brain cancer has touched my family and I am touched by yours. So, wanted you to know that there's a girl in Canada rooting for you and sending positive energy your way. If there's a shot at that 1%, I'd say you're the candidate to achieve it!
    Inspired by your journey,
    Amanda Alvaro
    Toronto, Canada


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