Thursday, May 3, 2012

Hermie is Winning

The appointment went in the worst scenario possible. They proved to us that the tumor has been consistently growing. The artemisinin does not appear to be working. We all feel completely deflated. There was crying from each of us. I don't even know how to process this information. I am not winning the battle against Hermie. The radiology reports that had been showing the same measurements at each MRI, had been haphazard and the doctor apologized. He said that he's seen that before, even to one of his family members who has a low grade glioma like me. He said that there are MRI reading specialists all in a room, going case by case, and that they're overworked and they can get sloppy. That they don't always review all the way back a few MRIs to truly compare. So, basically, those reports, which we had been banking on, were bogus. 

The worst part is that the way the specialist reviewed all of the MRIs in front of us, showed that the artemisinin does not appear to be working. It should have been causing Hermie to shrink, which he hasn't. I need to regroup and think about what we're going to do next. 

Perfect timing, my Wenatchee girls planned a long weekend, gifting me with a trip to Kaui. So, tomorrow morning I'll be flying out with Kristin, Michelle, Jessaca and Jenny. These girls always cheer me up and fill me with hope. They're exceedingly intelligent, too, so I'm sure they can help me figure out what to do. 

I am so deflated, and scared. And now I am beginning to understand why so few people survive this cancer. It's vicious, tenacious, persistent, and effing strong. I just have to figure out how to outsmart it - and apparently, it's not going to be easy. 


Thank God for the baby ducks.
There's always something beautiful to find, even when you're down.

12 comments:

  1. All my love and strength to you. Have a great trip with the girls. I know they will be able to help you smile and surround you with love. HUGS. Sara

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  2. You are "tenacious, persistent, and effing strong" Hermie is messing with the wrong person!
    Enjoy your time in Kauai, you know Hawaii holds a special place in my heart. It's my opinion your trip couldn't happen at a better time, the surf, sun, sand, Hawaiian spirit refreshes the body and mind. Add some besties to it....you're in for a fabulous trip! Aloha!

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  3. "So Cal" PattiMay 3, 2012 at 7:40 PM

    I agree with the above posts Jess! Go off to a beautiful place with your dear friends to "regroup" mentally and then come back and kick Hermie's "you know what"! HA! Love you! Have a wonderful aloha time on your trip and mahalo (thank you) for being you!!!

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  4. I don't even know what to say... But your trip could not have come at a better time! Try to enjoy it and relax as much as you can, and I'm hopeful that the tropical air and time with great friends will give you renewed strength and clarity for the fight against Hermie. That bastard. (Pardon my French.)

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  5. I lived in Friday Harbor for many years and have followed your blog since the beginning. You're quite an inspiration, especially since in Feb, my husband was diagnosed with glioblastoma, stage 4. Your journey gives me hope. I think of you often. He, much like you, carries on with optimism and his typical love of life.

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  6. I just wanted to add my thanks to you for sharing!

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  7. Jessica, don't give up. You are already doing so many things RIGHT. Staying positive is important. Daniel is going to send you an email soon-be on the lookout for it!

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  8. You are very brave.

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  9. We love & Care for you Jessica. You are in our prayers & in our hearts. We don't have enough words to express our care for you & your family. We have dealt with a no hope brain tumor, a surgery then a miracle. They do still happen & that is our prayer for you & your family.

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  10. Jess - I will send you a separate email as well - but this is far from over. You are resilient, smart and have more good energy exuding from your little finger than most could ever wish to have... You will adapt your strategy, and beat this with the love and support of friends and family. We all have your back - and are humbled by your bravery.

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  11. Hi Jess, Just want you to know you continue to be in my prayers. The will be a cure found for this. I pray everyday that that cure is found now. I am so sorry to hear that Hermi has had growth. Know that I believe that you are fighting the battle with an approach I hope I could do if in the same situation. You have an amazing positive attitude and still inspire me greatly. You have incredible family and friends that surround you. I am sure I am like many that would trade places with you so you and Danny could start a family of your own. Keep smiling and enjoy every day God has given us. And as always call if Andre` or I can do anything. Most of all ENJOY HAWAII!!
    With Love and Prayers...
    Rich

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  12. Hi, just wondering if you have ever read about Grape Seed Extract. I have just started taking it in hopes of shriking or at least stopping the spread of my meningiomas. I have at least 4 of them. I am grasping at straws, I guess for a solution other than surgery. I am terrified. Here is a link: http://www.cityofhope.org/about/publications/hope-news/2009-vol-4-num-13-april-20/Pages/grape-seed-extract-may-have-power-to-help-choke-tumors-by-stunting-their-blood-supply.aspx

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