Sunday, May 16, 2010

Heaven In A Tub

Today I was trying to take a nap and I was thinking about how much I love red licorice. I might even go as far to say that red licorice is the best candy ever invented (not to be confused with Twizzlers). I am aware that this post is probably a little disturbing, and that no one should be that excited about a candy, but something so chewy and delicious should be celebrated. 

For weeks after brain surgery my skull has been crackling like Rice Crispies (when you pour milk on them). It's intermediate, so I can't complain too much, but when it starts up suddenly the sound will make you lose your mind. It is the craziest, creepiest, most irritating sound. Apparently, it's completely a normal sound to hear, but it's still unsettling. At first when I didn't know what was happening I thought that my skull was clasping. The crackling has gotten loads better, but at first it was all the time and I would even wake up from a deep sleep to the crackling. It was from weird movements or bending over to tie my shoes, or sometimes I wasn't even moving it was just air bubbles in my head (my brother is going to have a field day with this one). Just the thought of the crackling and I would feel nauseous (I'm a complete wimp when it comes to the idea of my skull, the surgery, the metal plates and screws and the whole fact that they cut open my brain in general - I guess I'm grossed out and yet I think it's the coolest thing in the world. Kind of like witnessing a car accident.) Anyway, the red licorice is the perfect combination of chewy and soft. Sometimes at 2:00 am I even would walk all the way into the kitchen for some chewy red they heaven they call licorice. Sometimes it's the only thing that can quiet the sounds in my head (and my jaws were cut for surgery so they could open the head larger). I tried gummy bears but it they were too chewy. I tried jellybeans but I ate them too quickly, and gum wasn't soft enough. I tried candy after candy all in the name of medical research I am confident that red licorice is the best candy for brain surgery. It helps the crackling and it seems to help to my jaw strength, and it's so soft and chewy, I'm telling you it's heaven in a tub. Unfortunately, I have recently been getting dirty looks from my thighs but I'm getting a lot better at shrugging them off. I just don't care about silly stuff like thunder-thighs. That's what summer dresses are for.


  1. Pretty sure Jess ~ your humor has returned! I too am a fan of red licorice along with my diet coke! Altho I can get obsessed and become a licorice snob if it isn't the perfect freshness I so desire ~ :-) Sometimes I just have to stop myself and accept the less fresh state of delicious red licorice (oh and NEVER black, yuck :-(!
    Glad you are home, you'll really shine in recovery now ~ one day at a time!
    Debbie Sandwith

  2. Haha I totally told you girl (in the texts). Jess is back and in true form. You are too funny. Love you!!! Keep writing!

  3. Jess, what I love is that you're speaking so deep. I see such poverty here in the West Indies, that to think of "thunder-thighs" is so inconsequental, it's ridiculous--there are so many more important things in life like clothes, staples, dreams, belief that this hurricane season won't be like the one in 2004.
    I think what's real is being real. And you are being so real with us in sharing your ups and downs. I would like you to think about painting or drawing or flowing in some way that isn't vowels, nouns, verbs, sentences, paragraphs, although you are one hell of a writer, but it's got to stress you in one way and yet set you free in another. I wonder how you see colors these days. I'll pose--nude if you want (OMG!) xoxoxoxoxo you know who! xoxoxo


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