Hi Guys. Sorry I've been so depressed. They say that this is a roller coaster of emotions, and I now understand what they mean. When things are good it's fantastic, but when I'm sad it's incredibly hard. I get mad at myself when I'm depressed because I know I have so much to be grateful for, but sometimes I can't stop myself. Thank you to everyone who supports me. This blog has been a wonderful outlet for me, and I'm so grateful for all of the comments. Sometimes it's just the thing that pulls me out of the dumps. So thank you!
Today I woke up feeling fantastic, I love it when it works out like that. Danny and I planted a bunch of bulbs that I had been saving from before I found out I had the tumor. There are now 30 green star gladiolus, 30 black star gladiolus, and a 10 mix of dahlias. Planting things, and gardening in general is so relaxing. It's so simple, give it a little love, some water, and tend to them a little. My plants are like little babies for me, I love to watch them grow. Gardening is obviously a lot easier than parenting, I'm not implying that. Maybe gardening is just phase one - preparenting, kind of those flour sack babies that they used to make you have to heave around high school.
I also had a wonderful surprise from my mom. Apparently my mom has been researching brain food. I will be getting a care package of food from my mom and dad of fish, spinach, blueberries, cherries, and I can't remember what else is on the list. My parents are awesome! I will do whatever it takes to help strengthen my brain. As long as they don't take away my red licorice! Let's not get crazy here.
Anyway, I'm serious, thank you to my friends, family, and strangers that have been contacting me. I am so grateful for all of the people that continue to send prayers, love, support, stories, hope, and strength. Just when I'm feeling down, and I can't handle the pain, someone sends me an amazing email, or comment on the blog, and I start to feel better. Thank you! I'm such a lucky girl that I have so many people rooting for me! Thank you!
Jessica, you know what's funny? A lot of us need you just as you say you need us. Your original red licorice post was SO "pre-craniotomy Jess" it made me happy for so many different reasons. And I read others that are not so up-beat and I send my love in full strength to get you through it. But then this post . . . well, with each you are so more and more like YOU it's just so comforting. It's a full circle kind of thing. That is so awesome what your mom is doing, I love it! In any case, I am always a text or a call away. Love you!!!!! I'm so glad you got to do some gardening and are feeling better! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely on your way to recovery! I do not know you, but have followed your blog given to me by a friend. I check it everyday, sometimes twice a day! :) YOur strength is amazing. Dont let your "depressed" days get you down for too long! I think that happens to all of us, and we each just have to take a step back to re-analyze the situation and life itself. You are a very blessed girl and you are incredibly strong. Your parents are lucky to have you as their daughter, Danny is lucky to have you, adn the world is incredibly lucky to have you! Dont ever forget that. Continue to post your stories...they make my day! I am so happy you are doing better!
ReplyDeleteJessica - we have a veggie garden going... if you get bored you can come tend to it too. We will have some food to share before you know it. We didn't do any flowers this year... it just didn't seem fair to plant something we knew Bailey and Jackson would kill instantly!
ReplyDeleteAND - this last blog post is a great one for US -it is the positive Jessica! You are loved equally whether you are depressed or on top of the world.
I'm glad you are having a great day. You have every reason to go through ups and downs and I'm sure nobody ever expects an apology from you. Believe me, I am doing my very best to help out from afar by eating all the red licorice I can get my hands on. :)
ReplyDeleteHi sweet pea.. I love you so much, but you already know that! Good luck with Stewie, he looks like he could be a good little brother to minnie kitty. Minnie could teach him the ways of the mommy.. edamame that is!
ReplyDeleteJess you are forever in my mind every bite of red licorice I take :-) ~ It is 'normal' under the best of circumstances to have a little 'down' time ~ fortunately you have tools to recognize it & turn it around, because you are a natural positive person, how great is that!
ReplyDeleteWe are being blessed by your desire to write/share your journey ~ each day, one day at a time God has a special plan for Jess!
Debbie Sandwith
Friday Harbor, WA
Yeah Jess, I'm so happy you sound so much like you! Your parents are so sweet to put together that great assortment of "brain food"!
ReplyDeleteI'm planting my garden now too, and if your bunny gets to be too much of a pest, I bet Tyler & Kaitlyn would be happy to give it so much love that he won't want to come back! Sometimes I'm surpriesd that our cat doesn't run away, they give her so much toddler "love".
You just try to stay positive and strong, and we'll all be right here loving and supporting you every step of the way. Thank you for posting on the blog, it keeps us all in the loop without bugging you and interrupting naps!
Love, Sarah
Hi Jessica, I was just listening to a recording tonight by Dr. Daniel Amen about brain food and how to nourish our brains with the right foods, habits, and activities. He says he's done over 50,000 brain scans to help determine all sorts of things that start in our brain, including the food we eat. Thank you for your thoughts each day, you are giving us not only your health updates, you give us your strength!
ReplyDeleteSusan Barkshire
FH
No Jesse, thank YOU! xoxoxoxo (Danny too.)
ReplyDelete