Yesterday evening I went for a walk around the lake, of course, the second my feet hit the gravel along the outer loop my footsteps quickened. I'm a wonderful walker with friends, but alone I need more speed. I ran around the lake, sprinting at times, purging my emotions. It felt therapeutic. It felt cleansing.
I'm embarrassed by my last post. I have a wonderful life, and I truly have nothing to complain about. My troubles are not more important than everyone else's. In fact, if there's about 7 billion people on earth I can confidently say that there are hundreds of millions of people - possibly even billions - with problems much more serious than mine.
I just finished reading an amazing book titled, Little Bee by Chris Cleave. There are several powerful quotes and I want to share them.
“We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.”
“If I could not smile, I think my situation would be even more serious.”
“I was carrying two cargoes. Yes, one of them was horror, but the other one was hope.”
“They say that in the hour before an earthquake the clouds hang leaden in the sky, the winds slows to a hot breath, and the birds fall quiet in the trees of the town square. Yes but these are the same portents that precede lunchtime, frankly.”
“At some point you just have to turn around and face your life head on.”
“People wonder how they are ever going to change their lives, but really it is frighteningly easy.”
“We cannot choose where to start and stop. Our stories are the tellers of us.”
Glad you are feeling better. Life is such a roller coaster ride, isn't it, especially with a brain tumor. Jess
ReplyDeleteGoodness that book was a powerful one. I remember getting to the end, and being so grateful for my life!
ReplyDeleteHi Jessica - just me...the friend you have but do not know personally. I had to comment when I saw your comment about being embarrassed about your last post. PLEASE don't feel that way! It is precisely your honesty and vulnerability...and all of the back and forth between the two that attract people to fiercely follow and pray and believe in you. Your authenticy is both real and poignant...and challenges each of us to look at who and how we are. Bless you for feeling, for sharing, and for moving beyond...as you always do.
ReplyDeleteYour fan,
Ann
Jess -
ReplyDeleteAnn,above, just said it all (and very eloquently, I might add).
Do not - ever - be ashamed by your emotions. They are yours. Your down times are precisely what catapult you to your treasured times. This is your journey - you have chosen to share it with us (which we're all grateful for); but it is yours. Never be embarrassed by how you feel because it's your life. You are human - and a beautifully, motivating and inspiring one at that.
Thank you, as always, for the reminder of how precious life is and what gratitude really means.
Lots of love coming your way.
John (and Steph, of course)
I loved that book!! Pete's grandmother gave it to me a few years ago and it was such perfect timing. I'm glad you found the light in that book.
ReplyDeleteErin