Monday, October 29, 2012

Beautiful Bruises

Right Hand
Left Hand
Things are healing really well. It has been 11 days and my bruises are beautiful, in no time they will be a memory. I'm stikl waitimg for sensation on my right side, but that's alright, I know it will come. I Often feel like my underwear or pants are falling dowm on the side right of my body or I drag my body across the wall walking scratching myself as I go, It's pretty funny.

Today, I walked three blocks, rest for 15 minites and walk slowly back home. As I returned home from my walk I noticed my right arm wilted, as my energy waned. I started swirving like a drunken deer, and then I needed to be bookended by my parents so that I wouldn't fall over. Made it though :) I contined home, walked in the dooor, fell onto the couch, tried to reach my water glass with my right hand (always pushhng to use the bad hand) and just after taking a big sip, I watched my hand hand reease the glass. Shattered it. I drop everything. During meals I drop my utensils, time, after, time, never stopping until I'm done eating. My rule is that if I want to eat I have to eat using my right hand. I have to earn it. half way throigh the day I have a hard tme picking up myh right arm, so i go takea nap.

I will be fying home Frday with my parents. Fior niow I'm trying to rest, take small walks, be out and hear sounds, bright lights, for a few minutes eatch day . the travel day will be intense and exhausting. i can't standfor long times, i hop[pe  i get better so i dont have to use a wheelcheair. I woild be nice to be wheeled and keep my eyes closed too thoigh. We'll see how it goes.

I'm glad I have so much time to recouperate down here. Dan is already back at work doing 6 days a week 10 hour days. He's really busy and i still need help. My mom is bathing my head, I sit in the bath and laugh, compare myself to my three year old neice. I;m glad I have such a close family where i can count on my mom to bathe me, my dad has fed me, and Dan does everythinng between. If I hadn;t gone through this before i dont think i would have handl.ed it this well. im more confident in how i will progress, that this is just phase.

Im still bummed about the lack of personalized vaccine, but if ii have to get to germany, that;s what ill do. I have acceess to my tumor and Dr Liau is still going to be my doctor. YAY! She will follow me. We;re on the right path.

Ok. So pooped. I've bitten my mouth 20 times becauseje ha;f my face feels novicaned. My body is confused and the ony thing to do is tryh and rest. pushing it has never been a good idea. Sorry im so bad abount posting. just so hard to communicated sometmes.

Daddy Manicure


  1. Thank you for the post! You do an awwwsum jobrrgardless of what you say. Keep that smile on that beautiful face and know we all love you and are rooting for every ounce of improvement you make!!!! Much love from 98801

  2. "So Cal" PattiOctober 29, 2012 at 9:49 PM

    Jess it is so easy to see why you are the wonderful person that you are- your family is incredible!!! The loving kindness that your parents and Danny express always support you to get better and be able to be the special lady that you are! You have improved so much in such a short period of time. Keep allowing your wonderful family and all of us that love you to cheer on during each little accomplishment! Please give loves to yourself and your parents and Danny from "So Cal" Patti!

  3. Love and healing to you sweet Jessica! You are incredible and I truly absorb every word you write as if I were trying to accomplish all that you do...wondering how I could possibly be as strong, courageous and eloquent as you always are. Be kind to yourself for you are and have been fighting and excelling in a battle many would not dare endure. Thank you for all that you share and who you are!
    Much love to you, Dan and your family,

    1. Love what you wrote!!! I couldn't say it any better...Ditto!!!

  4. Yay, home soon!! I'm flying through LAX on Friday morning (on my way to Mexico for my post surgery tropical vacay... a year and a half later...) and will definitely keep my eyes peeled for you! I'd be so excited if I ran into you. I know, it's remote, but a girl can hope. :) If I don't bump into you at the airport, hope to see you in Seattle soon! Safe travels. xo

  5. The manicure from your dad is the sweetest picture ever!
    Want you to know that there's a group of girls in Toronto, Canada who have followed your journey and are sending you so much positive energy for a complete recovery.
    We're with you, Jess! You have an international army of support behind you. If you travel to Germany, our support will follow you there! Stay strong and take this recovery one day at a time! Love from the big north!

  6. Jess, Definitely take the wheel chair at the airport if you can. You will need to reserve your energy for healing and recovering. I was wheeled around at the airport after my surgery at Duke. It will be an exhausting day with all of the people, sights, sounds, and stresses of an airport. I was glad I had a wheel chair. You are doing great! Keep up the hard work. Jessica

  7. Don't be too hard on yourself girlie. The change in your writing is true evidence to how fast you are recovering. It is proof that your brain is healing too. Like everyone else said - DO use the wheelchair even if you think you don't need it. The day will be long and overstimulating and you don't want to have to work harder than necessary. You especially don't want to take the chance of falling. That would not help your recovery lol. Love your posts and stop apologizing for not keeping us more up to date. We are here and waiting whenever you get a moment but we certainly are not your priority. Rest well and you'll be back here in no time in full force. Hugs to you all.

  8. Yes, on the wheelchair. Just enjoy the ride!


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