Pause The X-Ray

Ugh....why is our health care so confusing?!?! Why is it that they'll pay for THAT but not THIS, and sometimes they'll cover 80% and other times nothing. On a whim, I called my insurance company to make sure that I didn't need a pre-authorization, and I asked what they would cover. Answer: I would have to pay the first $500, and then 20% after that. Yuck! Seriously? How much IS an abdominal x-ray?

There is a whole world of medical nuances and it can seriously make you go blind. I've been fortunate enough to have my mother match up all of my statements, and bills and argue discrepancies. She's saved me a lot of money because of coding errors and double billing. I think it's sad that it's this hard to figure out your own health care. We have amazing doctors, amazing treatments, and I love the health care available, it's just so damn expensive. Think of if I didn't even HAVE insurance. That thought makes me ill.

I recently was able to get on to Danny's work insurance, so now, instead of just stacking another $500 & 20% bill onto the stack, I've already been on the internet trying to find a new doctor on my new insurance plan that will hopefully be a good fit and maybe won't be quite as expensive. So far I've got nothing. Most of the general practitioners that I could walk to (closest is over a mile) specialize in physical therapy, or they have a small private office and they don't have access to the other therapies that I was hoping to utilize. This whole no driving thing is really becoming a pain in my ass.

It has been five months, exactly, since my last seizure. In one more month I can drive. I've talked about it a bunch with Danny, and a couple of my friends, that I'm scared. I don't know if I can put myself behind a wheel. I would never forgive myself if I hurt someone. Dan and I have a friend who was hit by a car while riding her bike. If I was driving, and a seizure came on, I might not be able to stop the car in time. What if I hit a pedestrian? What if I hit a child? What if? What if? It's a very sobering thought. I don't know how I will reconcile that fear. I'm not sure if I should ever drive again.

Ugh. In the meantime, I need to find a new doctor and see if Dan's plan covers x-rays. I hate this. I just want to crawl back in bed and give up.