Post Surgery IQ

Yesterday was UW day. Speech therapy was a success. I've been transposing the majority of my numbers, which is weird. I hear the numbers, and then write them down differently. I can even stare at the number I'm typing and I don't notice that it's the wrong number until the telephone call won't connect, or the credit card won't go through. It's frustrating, and it's causing a serious problem at work. According to my therapist, it's completely normal after having brain surgery. It's expected that as my brain connections find new pathways, my abilities will improve. It's odd though.

All in all I'm doing really well with the recovery, in fact I usually feel great! That is, until a day like today happens when I completely mess up at work. I've been working between 2-4 hours a day, and 3-4 days a week. A lot of times I'm gone for doctor's appointments, or sent home because I look exhausted and they want me to sleep.

I used to be a purchasing manager, and since recently starting work again, I thought could handle my job. I've been working little by little, trying to resume my responsibilities. In the past I've felt completely confident with my abilities. I used to be able to juggle ordering the right products, at the correct quantities, under the constraints of minimums, while meeting up with the ebb and flow of seasonal demands. Well. No longer. I tried to do a purchase order, and the product came in today. Not only did I miss two complete products, two completely different products are already out of stock. Yep. That is four errors. This is a colossal mistake. These products are for our largest customer, who was already upset about our lack of product availability. The lead time is months. I honestly wanted to vomit, and at the same time cry. I feel like I've always been incredibly reliable, and helpful with the team at work, but now I'm not only unable to do most of my job description, I'm also making their jobs harder. Ugh!

Therefore, this afternoon I demoted myself to customer service, and yet I don't know if it'll help anything since I can't even take down a credit card number correctly. I feel like a complete idiot. Luckily, I'm pretty funny :) I guess I'll lean on that for a little bit while my little neuron-y things power through my brain and connect.

Speaking of neuron-y things, I have my three day battery of tests on Oct 11, 12 (just after my MRI), and the 13th to check my abilities and IQ. The problem is that I'm not sure if I want to know my current post-surgery IQ. This experience is helping me realize that the most important personality trait, or ability is not intelligence, it's compassion and having a positive attitude. Or, is that just something someone says who isn't very intelligent.

Sorry this whole post is so jumbled. It's been a weird week.