Thursday, September 30, 2010

Curse The Memo

Danny and I just returned from back-to-back doctor's appointments in Seattle. The first appointment was speech therapy, and the second was my first visit at the psychologist's office (who deals with terminal illnesses).

In the first hour, during speech, I read aloud a one page explanation of a workplace. Afterward, my task was to write a memo to my hypothetical boss describing the problems, and providing solutions. When my therapist, Julie, asked me to write the memo I completely drew a blank. I didn't know what to say, I couldn't remember the points, I couldn't form an introduction sentence. I didn't even know what the problems were. A thousand words of gibberish swirled through my mind, and I felt my face get red. I stared at the page, and tried to focus. Before I knew it I was crying. I couldn't stop myself. I couldn't process the information. The thing is, she gave me ample time to quietly figure out, but as the silence grew, and I knew I didn't have any answers, my heart broke.

I used to be excellent at reading comprehension. I was one of two (or maybe it was three) students who received an A in my Texas Christian University freshman composition course (the standard English class - a prerequisite). I'm not saying that I was a suburb student. In fact, I was an A/B student. That's why that grade was so important, it was a serious accomplishment. Now, being that I'm unable to process and organize information I'm humbled, and disappointed. It's incredibly painful.

For some reason I'm able to write how I feel, what I'm thinking, and things that are happening in my day to day life. I write how I think, and it's organic. I can't seem to organize thoughts to support an argument, or opinion. That's my homework for this week. Julie asked me to find something that I have an opinion about. I'm then supposed to explain my opinion, and use supporting reasons as to why I hold the opinion. It sounds easy enough, but on the three hour ride home I still couldn't think of anything. Oh well. Maybe it'll come to me.

As for the psychologists office, no crying there! It was a basic session, and I really like her. I have a feeling she'll help me process some of the things going on in my life. We actually laughed a lot, which was nice. I don't meet with her again until the day after the MRI. So, I'll be full of emotion, either excitement and happiness or fear and anxiety. Either way I'm sure the meeting will be helpful.

Here's my photo of the day. I like to grocery shop while I go to the doctor's office. I'm a huge fan of Trader Joe's, and Wenatchee doesn't have one. I always load up on the good stuff, and today I spotted a new treat. I've heard that sea vegetables are incredibly good for your brain. Unfortunately, this snack leaves you with bad breath and green flecks in your teeth. And it's not exactly delicious. But I ate it. Because it's good for me. If I sound like I'm complaining, it's because I am. It's pretty gross. The things I do for my brain.


  1. It seems to me that you probably have a pretty good opinion of why everyone should choose healthy snacks to eat over garbage snacks . . .

  2. Hi... I was just wondering what "book" you are reading in your Book Club. I just finished The Help. I liked it alot. You had mentioned that you sometimes had trouble with reading and keeping the focus of the book. After a bout with illness I also had that problem. I got the "Kindle" and am back to enjoying reading and actually not loosing my place which gives me more brain power to remember what I read. Yea. Just a Idea for you.

    I pray for your recovery every day.


  3. If you like wasabi, TJ's has a wasabi dusted version of the seaweed snack. It's pretty tasty.


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