Saturday, May 11, 2013

Ignorance Did Not Cause Bliss

Good Morning! A couple of things I've been meaning to mention...

1. I will not be attending the San Juan Half Marathon. It has been recommended that I abstain by my doctor, due to the stress on my body that I'm already enduring from the shots. The research also supports me hanging on the sidelines, strenuous exercise causes spikes in blood glucose which feeds tumors. Instead, I've been walking 4-5 days a week, five miles each time. I grab Emma and check out various streets in my neighborhood, circle the lake, pick up groceries and such. I thought I would really miss running, and at first I very much did, however, I've gotten over it. Instead of yearning to run, I think about all of the stories my mother has told me about her walking as a young girl. The main similarity between walking and running, for me, is that with both exercises I'm able to clear my mind, analyze life, enjoy fresh air, look at the plants, the birds, the squirrels, and I become re-grounded (if that's a word?!). I watch people walk, run, drive, speed by on bikes. I feel alive. Since I don't drive, if I don't get out for a walk, I will just be at home. I'll live hidden. I don't go to work, in fact, I don't do much. So, I force myself out on walks. And each time that I do, I feel much, much better.

2. About that cell phone article. I'm not trying to scare anyone, and I'm not trying to convince you. I don't think that you're going to get a brain tumor if you use your cell phone. Just as some people can smoke their whole lives and never get lung cancer or emphysema, others will not die from their cell phones. However, for other people, cigarettes will kill them. And, for others, cell phones might be their demise. Every person's body is different, and I don't think that cancer works in a way that is singular. I believe that cancer is a perfect storm, a combination of environmental factors (excessiveness of cell phone use, cigarettes, pesticides, sun, food additives, alcohol, medications, prescription meds - just think about the warnings on the commercials, and many other harmful things), maybe some genetics, and perhaps a bit of bad luck. That list just mentioned, is not my personal list, but examples. I'm not trying to freak anyone out, just speaking my opinion. You don't have to agree with me, and maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my tumor is genetic, that there's nothing I did wrong, and because each brain tumor is unique I don't think that all brain tumors are caused by radiation/cell phones. I speak about my fears of cell phone radiation because I don't want anyone else to go through what I'm going through. I wouldn't wish this life on a serial killer. Maybe that sounds drastic, but I wouldn't. Even the most evil people in the world don't deserve cancer. I guess, no one does. I just feel like I was foolish, ignoring warnings about cell phones. I'm telling you I was on my cell phone for 5+ hours most nights for years. I wish I wouldn't have poo-pooed my inner voice. She told me my head was hot, and sweating from my cell use. She told me that it couldn't be good for me. I ignored her. I'm sure moderate use of cell phones isn't a big deal, but I was not moderate. I blame myself for what has happened to my body. I can't change what has happened, and I'm working on forgiving myself, but it's a work in progress. My ignorance has massively altered my future, my entire life.

Anyway, enough about that. Below is a picture that Danny took while we were kayaking on Lake Union yesterday. Seattle has been sunny and hot for over a week - heaven!


  1. Jessica, the fact that you would think to blame yourself about this is ridiculous. My wife literally has a cell phone stuck to her head most of the time. I have my google alerts set to new brain tumor treatments, the argument goes back and forth all the time for whether or not cell phones even show a like to brain cancer. If the wireless networks were causing brain tumors, Not to many people would be sitting on a laptop in front of the TV. There is good stress and bad stress. Good stress can help to motivate you to change the things you have control over. Bad stress is when you are trying to change things you have no control over.
    Bad stress is a bad prognostic indicator for surviving brain cancer. In the melanoma world, People blame too much sun exposure (definitely a factor) then people get melanoma from the inside out(never seen in their skin) so then Suntan lotion is blamed. Nobody knows. Enjoy life and I am actually jealous of that Kayak picture. Seattle is beautiful that time of year. If it is of any value to you, there is an excellent neurosurgeon from Sloan Kettering coming your way soon. His name is Eric Holland he did 6 brain surgeries on me for Metastatic Melanoma, by number 6, I just got used to doing it.
    Definitely somebody I hope you can talk to. He advised against me getting whole brain radiation too. Here is a link about him.

  2. you are such a cutie

  3. I appreciate your info and research on the link between cell phones and cancer. It has LONG been a fear of mine, and with a teenager fully immersed in the cell phone era, it's scary and shouldn't be over looked! Thanks!


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