Thursday, June 14, 2012

Innately Healthy

I saw the most random sight today, my happy little turtles were hanging out with a heron. Pretty cute! I'm lucky to have such an amazing wildlife refuge right here in the city. It keeps me connected to the freshness of nature.

I took today off of my IV treatments. It's just so much money, and it exhausts me. So, instead, I started doing laundry, and fiddled around the house. I even went for a jog along green lake, stopping at a bench to rest and enjoy the outdoors. That's a first. Usually, I run from doorstep to doorstep. I always enjoy the view, but I never take the time to just sit. Just breathe. Just live.

I've been wondering lately, if maybe I'm in denial. Although I do a crazy amount of research, take a lot of pills, and focus so much on treating myself, I have to admit that in my heart of hearts I don't feel sick. I feel alive, and believe that my exhaustion is due to my treatments, not from my innate body.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm already cured. Is that weird? Is there a way that I'm supposed to handle a situation like this? How do you handle a silent monster growing in your brain?

2 comments:

  1. Jess, remember that feeling yucky or tired after an IV can be a good sign, a sign of detox, and your body taking time to repair where it needs it. ;)

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  2. Jess, You handle it just as you are...one day at a time...feeling your way through with love all around you...you are brave enough to share it with the world and do good along the way...bless you.
    Jennifer

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