Tuesday, June 5, 2012

No More Volunteering

Well, I did it. After another night of fitful bouts of jactitation, with less than enough sleep, I trudged through the pouring rain to resign my post as volunteer at the retirement home. I realized finally, after fighting it, that I need to focus on various pills that I take 8 times a day, extra sleep, the 2 hour bus/running commute each direction to each doctor appointment, and all of the other crazy things in our lives. I need to rest. I need to focus on taking these acidic homemade sulforaphane pills, which kill cancer but also my sleep.

Although I was taking a leave, I still went to Margaret's room for one final manicure. I feel like I'm letting her and everyone else down. They look forward to getting, and deserve to be, pampered, and it breaks my heart that I can't give that to them. While I was massaging her hands, Margaret reminded me that she had beaten cancer three times; renal, melanoma, and breast cancers. She's now 101, 102 in November. I thought she was 103, but she corrected me. Either way, she's an adorably colorful, broach wearing, mascara blinking, enhanced eyebrow sporting firecracker. I just love her. I love them all. After talking to the wonderful employees at the Hearthstone, the deal is that I can stop by any time.

I'm not going to lie, I cried three different times during my time at the Hearthstone this morning. I just love seeing everyone, the residents and the employees. They are always laughing, and joking. I'm just going to keep reminding myself that this is only temporary.

Final thought of the day, on my walk to volunteer this morning, I saw the most amazing little outfit. At first I noticed the ladybug umbrella, but as I drew near I saw that she was wearing her undies over her leggings. Awesome. I love her spunk! What a great mother to encourage her independence. I love it!


  1. We are in tune lady - today was my last day at the Hearthstone too! You are making the right decision, even though I know it's hard! xoxo

  2. "So Cal" PattiJune 5, 2012 at 5:29 PM

    I am sure that it was hard to leave your volunteer job today but it seems like a wise decision to focus on yourself and your recovery! Reverse today's sadness and think about how happy you will be when you march in there and tell Margaret that Hermie is gone!!! From the way you describe her she will still be there and will be delighted for you! What an inspiration she is to you! If she can beat cancer three times, SO CAN YOU!!! Stay Positive!!!

  3. "So Cal" PattiJune 11, 2012 at 1:46 PM

    Hope that all is OK Jess- you haven't posted for awhile again. I called and left you a message last week but didn't hear back from you. Hope that you have been up to something fun!


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