Sunday, July 18, 2010

No Limit Of Kindness

Last Saturday, instead of doing the Chelan Man Olympic Triathlon which I had been planning on conquering (prior to the diagnosis), I attended a concert.

We went to the concert with a group of friends, a group that knows no limit of kindness. They're always making me laugh, and they never disregard my ridiculous moods. They always make me feel like I'm completely normal, even when I can't seem to believe in myself.

At first, I didn't want to be in any of the photos, and I would hide behind other people's heads, but soon I realized how rediculous I was being. So I don't have hair and I feel fat. Oh well. I told myself to just deal with it and suck it up. I'm glad I did, because now I have some memories. I guess I can be pretty vain.

too bad we were missing Jessaca - she had the fancy seats down front :)

I think that's my hardest hurdle socially. I don't want to be in photos. I don't want to look at myself. When I see the photos, it all of a sudden becomes so real. I can no longer pretend what I've been living through, and the uncertainty of my future. I can't wait for the day when I can really relax, truly feel safe, and unload my sadness.


  1. We wish you could see you through our eyes, it would take your breath away and make your smile even more dazzling. :)

  2. I pray you can unload or have unloaded your sadness my dear friend!


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