7.18.2010

No Limit Of Kindness

Last Saturday, instead of doing the Chelan Man Olympic Triathlon which I had been planning on conquering (prior to the diagnosis), I attended a concert.

We went to the concert with a group of friends, a group that knows no limit of kindness. They're always making me laugh, and they never disregard my ridiculous moods. They always make me feel like I'm completely normal, even when I can't seem to believe in myself.

At first, I didn't want to be in any of the photos, and I would hide behind other people's heads, but soon I realized how rediculous I was being. So I don't have hair and I feel fat. Oh well. I told myself to just deal with it and suck it up. I'm glad I did, because now I have some memories. I guess I can be pretty vain.




too bad we were missing Jessaca - she had the fancy seats down front :)





I think that's my hardest hurdle socially. I don't want to be in photos. I don't want to look at myself. When I see the photos, it all of a sudden becomes so real. I can no longer pretend what I've been living through, and the uncertainty of my future. I can't wait for the day when I can really relax, truly feel safe, and unload my sadness.

2 comments:

  1. We wish you could see you through our eyes, it would take your breath away and make your smile even more dazzling. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I pray you can unload or have unloaded your sadness my dear friend!

    ReplyDelete

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