Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Grumpy Girl

When I'm in a bad mood, I figure it's a great time to get out for a run. Today was no exception. We were a perfect pair, Mother Nature and I, both cranky. The wind slapped my face over and over again like a cold fish. The rain drops soaked me through every article of clothing, all the way down to the toes.

I'm not sure why I'm in such a bad mood. I guess I'm caught up in the seriousness of having cancer. This can happen when I'm on strict mode with my diet. It's wonderful to eat supremely (why does that word make me think of pizza) healthy, but I hate the fact that my food sins literally are punishable by death. It would be nice if my food sins were just punishable by fat. At times, it's an overwhelming feeling.

It's weird that almost two years ago I was diagnosed with my brain tumor. And almost unimaginable that I have been living in three month spans ever since. My life is completely dictated by my three month MRIs, scheduled just to watch my cancer grow (Except for the last MRI. Phew!). Oddly, I find that I've been appreciating life, the daily gifts, but the big picture is lost. It's wonderful living in the moment, but there's something about having long term goals. I realize that life changes for everyone, that it's difficult to plan, but it's different when your survival is literally up in the air, and constantly shoved in your face. It's a lot.

Tuesday Night's Dinner

Tonight's Dinner

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