Prayers For Dee Dee

I received a very sad email this morning. You may remember Dee Dee Pearce from the comments on my blog. Dee Dee has always shared kind words of inspiration, always lifting me up. When I started my struggle, she was dealing with some abnormal breathing issues. The doctors ended up finding a large tumor behind her lungs (which they believed was benign) and as things progressed, it turned out it was lymphoma. (I'm simplifying her journey here - it is long and arduous, although you wouldn't know it by her attitude.) I'm very, very sad to share that her condition has greatly diminished. For islanders, you may also remember her as Diane Pearce. She gave many children (including myself) piano lessons. Here is the email, please read it below and send your love, your positive thoughts and prayers her direction.

Hello all – It has been quite a while since Dee Dee’s last update, so I will fill in with a current status report. A little over three weeks ago, Dee Dee’s health started into a steep decline. Her strength has eroded daily, her appetite has diminished, and now she sleeps most of the time. A hospital bed was brought in for two weeks ago which has made her far more comfortable. She is frustrated because she has lost her ability to speak, for the most part. A few of Dee Dee’s closest friends and I are providing 24/7 care. Dee Dee enjoyed several home concerts provided by our musical friends. These were a real joy for her. Though she is too tired now to receive visitors, I know she cherishes the memories of those visits as well as the many notes, calls, and cards from you. Thank you very much for your support during this time. 

Walt

It breaks my heart to think about Dee Dee in pain, unable to do the things that she loves so dearly. She loves her horses and music; her joy is in the beauty of nature and those around her. Dee Dee has been a rock in my support system, and I am so grateful for her. Please help me send love waves her direction so that she can have a full warm heart, no pain, and more energy so that she can visit with her husband and friends.

On another disappointing note today, my cat is very sick. The vet thinks it's bone cancer. I know it sounds crazy to love a cat so much, but I've been crying all day. I pictured her, Stella the Pretty Pretty Princess (a nickname that I always took seriously, but everyone thought was a joke because she used to attack people), on my lap until the end. In fact, I was more worried that Danny might get stuck with too many pets if I die. It didn't occur to me that she might die first. How selfish of me. So, in the meantime, by the recommendation of the vet, we're going to pump Stella full of oral pain killers, vitamins, steroids and antibiotics, hoping that it makes her better. It's not lost on me that I'm doing to my cat what I won't even do to myself. At least I have a few weeks before I have to make a decision about Stella. I can't even think about it without sobbing.

The bright side of this tough day, has been the decrease of my medicine. Instead of just becoming despondent with all the bad news, I took a 2 hour nap then got back up. I did a load of laundry and started a new batch of sprouts. Just but cutting back to one 500mg pill a day of the Divalproex gives me more energy. The energy helps me conquer more, and put things in perspective. It helps me keep a positive spin. Although I've been crying off and on all day, I'm still functioning. That's big news for me. It makes me feel strong and capable. Capable of anything, even kicking this tumor's butt. I'm just sad that we can't all kick cancer's ass together.