Saturday, June 12, 2010

My First Book

This weekend marks my first night by myself, and my first weekend since the surgeries. Because I've been unable to take my pills regularly (I'd either forget I'd taken my pill, or accidentally eat too many), I've been untrustworthy to be alone. Finally, with the help of my speech therapist, I put my pills in an organizer and low and behold I am responsible!

With my new found freedom, I'm being insanely lazy. On Thursday night I started off on the wrong foot by getting sucked into a marathon of the Real Housewives of New York, and almost lost it but I saved myself by turning off the TV and starting my first book. Normally I prefer non-fiction, or historical fiction (ie: Grapes of Wrath...I'm a sucker for Steinbeck). There's something consuming about a good book, that television just can't provide.

So here I've been for the past two days reading my first book. I'm pretty sure that I'm not really retaining anything, but on some level I'm telling myself that it's good practice for my brain, and it HAS to be better than television. Right now I'm reading a cheesy fiction story, about as mind numbing as it gets but it's really fun! It's like a Devil Wears Prada kinda book. I guess life is so serious sometimes you have to lighten up.

My day goes about like this.....
I wake up in the 5:00am hour and read for a couple hours, and take my medication, and then I go back to sleep. At around the 11:00am hour I make a pot of coffee and read some more, or continue working on my crossword puzzle (which I've been working on for three days...speaking of which, does anyone know what the heck "Mas that baa" that has four letters "e_es"). Then I head to sleep. I wake up in the early evening to read some more and then maybe watch some 20/20, or something like that. Last night it was the Natalie Holloway story, good God that is a horrible story! That Dutch kid is guilty in my book and he's evil. Yep, I'm passing judgment. And now, it looks like he killed that young woman in Peru. It blows my mind that there are such disgusting people in the world. I shouldn't watch that kind of night time TV before bedtime while home alone. Anyway, I read for a few more hours and then go to sleep. Not bad! Talk about relaxing.

Things will definitely change next week though. Finally I'll be able to drive again....YAY! I feel like a sixteen year old again! Starting this week I will be able to drive with a companion. I should clarify that I don't have to avoid driving alone, and in fact now that I've hit the six week mark I don't have to limit myself at all. I could go drive doughnuts around the Safeway parking lot if I wanted to, but I'm scared that I might hurt someone. I figure, if I can't hold a conversation when there's background noise because I lose my concentration, how the heck am I going to be safe in front of the wheel? For now I'm going to slowly practice driving and take pointers from my co-pilots. I figure Danny, my Mom & Dad will all know if I'm safe enough to drive alone or not. It's obviously better to be safe than sorry, and I would never forgive myself if I hurt someone else because I had a hankering for some peach sorbet.

All of this reading is exhausting, but it's also helping me sleep and recuperate. I get the feeling that my family and Danny will be pretty amazed at my language improvement over the weekend. They will see the improvement in my speech, and I'm excited for them to see the renewed depth of my speech. I've still been the same person, I've just been unable to get my point across the way that I want to. It's a long process of growth, but it's getting so much closer to me, the REAL me!


  1. Hi Jessica- This is Patti from California who commented on your last blog. When I saw your title "My First Book" I was hoping that you had started your autobiography on your experiences. You have been through so much in such a short period of time but have been able to face it with your courage, sense of humor and incredible strength! You are a blessing to so many and have a message to pass on to others! Make time in your day to keep writing and be good to yourself!

  2. I'm so proud of you for getting the amount of sleep you do! I've been told that 75% of our healing occurs during our sleep. And congratulations on beginning to drive again - a sign of progress for sure! Keep on truckin' :)

    Like Patti, I hoped that you were starting your book. Your blogs will make an excellent basis for that. Maybe you'll do it, when and if you want.

    XOXO Dee Dee

  3. Hi Jessica ~ I am just catching up on your blog, after not having checked it in I can attest to your wonderful PROGRESS (not perfection, which I know is hard to swallow this concept as a perfectionist!) I too thought the 'My First Book' was you as the author, I seriously think that will materialize in your future :-) I am not recovering from a traumatic surgery, and I too at 51 have to read fiction to sit still, relax & eat! So you are not alone & have lots of support, I for one think you are doing WONDERFUL ~ your honest & giving heart are you for always!
    Love your way ~ Debbie Sandwith, FH

  4. Hey Jess,

    As co-pilots reading your blog entries we already know you can do anything you want to do. Hang a right, hang a left, back-up, go forward go, go, go! xoxoxoxoxoox

  5. Susan Grout- Just catching up with you again and you are as impressive as always. Have you thought of reading your favorite books, not just recent history [last couple of years] but from childhood and the teen years. I was thinking along the lines of The Secret Garden etc. When I am troubled I always turn to Pride and Prejudice which I first read when I was in high school Love it. Love you. You are a star.

  6. I'm glad to read that you had a good weekend! I'm sure Danny & your parents will be thrilled to hear it too! Keep on relaxing, reading and recouperating and the recovery will follow! Now that you have the thumbs up to try driving, I'm sure that will be a success for you as well. The others are right, you should consider writing a book! YOu are a wonderful writer and have such an inspiring story to tell, you could be on Oprah! Love you, Sarah

  7. Mas that baa = ewes (female sheep) lol


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