I sat in 80 degree weather, in a parked car for over an hour today. I was staring at the gym, but I just couldn't bring myself to go in. I've been having so many good days, I'm not sure what happened. My mood just changed, and I had a sobbing fit. It wasn't anything in general that caused the shift, and I couldn't pinpoint the exact emotions swirling around my head. From time to time I still get depressed, even though I'm progressing so well. It's confusing. I've cried less from this brain tumor than I have over a bad breakup.
I never did make it into the gym. I sweat enough in the car that I feel like I burnt a decent amount of calories, I was certainly dehydrated that's for sure. Luckily Danny is extremely patient with me. When I got home he coaxed me to take a walk. I'm not exactly feeling great, but on a scale of 1 to 10 that started as a -1 my happiness factor rose to 3. If Danny wasn't here I would probably be wallowing in bed. Not a pretty thought.
Here's Danny making me take a walk tonight....
Hey I got to see you and play with you on both Thursday and Friday. You were totally delightful, totally coherent, funny, sexy in that bikini, pure woman in that cute poka-dotted dress, no smeared make-up, perfectly tinted lips that cost most women lots of dinero, those big green eyes that sparkled and flirted and teased your Danny. You were so afraid of missing something that you wouldn't nap, although you did take a dip in the river and told Emma, Danny's dog, sweet nothings while we stole peeks at you. You wore yourself out being you - Jess! No wonder sitting in the car, letting the warm sun wash over you felt great. Sometimes that's a work out (gotta be some form of yoga) in itself. And remember parents are encouraged to let their kids cry a bit to strengthen the lungs and relieve stress and frustration. You built a lot of "bridges" lately. Congrats. xoxoxoxoxo
ReplyDeleteLove your way!!! I think you and Danny are both full of courage and, well, just pure love. Remember Dr. Masaru Emoto, the scientist from Japan who has done all the research and publications about water? His research reveals that water physically responds to emotions. Positive thinking, and positive action is literally healing. Keep on walking, writing, playing, smiling, enjoying your family and yoga-ing. You are love, and loved, Jessica Oldwyn. ~Kristin
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ReplyDeleteHi Jess, It's really good to see you doing so well. You look so good, I have lots of thoughts about laser therapy to promote rapped healthy cell growth maybe you have already talked about it with your physical therapist. If you are interested let me know.. Keep up the good work..~ Allison & Bryan Posenjak.
ReplyDeleteLove is the greatest healer in the world and the most important thing in our lives! How lucky you are to have each other!!!
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