Bunny Happy Hour

I'm embarrassed. I've been cranky and negative. The worst part is that I've been feeling sorry for myself. That's embarrassing! It's not about the tumor, it's about how the tumor has effected my life. I miss running, I miss being active, I miss driving, I miss having hair, I miss my pants fitting, blah blah blah. I've been mourning my life, and now I'm fed up of my own whining.

Soooooo, I wrote down all the yoga classes at my gym and I'm going to start doing yoga. Yay! I'm waiting to get cleared for some more active exercising, but at least this has to start somewhere. I'm not going to lie, it's hard to hold back because I miss getting the runner's high, but I have to start doing something or I'll start kicking puppies.

By the way, I have some very good news. Danny and I sat on the patio at the warehouse apartment and watched stars two nights ago. Apparently, happy hour for bunnies is just after dusk. It is a cotton tail paradise all over our back parking area, big bunnies, little bunnies, bunnies doing indos and stoppies (like a little motorcycle that pops up on its front tire), the bunnies were going CRAZY! I knew there was something going on when I realized my plants were mysteriously losing their leaves. The Stewie clan is alive and well! To celebrate, I'm going to hit the plant store to buy a few of their favorite flavors!

Little Leprechauns

I was just laying down for a nap, when it occurred to me that the pain around my head is from the fusing of nerve endings. At first, my whole left side of the head was numb (probably from the Oxycontin) and now it's slowly going back to normal. My left temple (where that jaw hinge is located) is tender to the touch and swollen, but the rest of my head is slowly gaining sensation. Hopefully my bite will come back to normal too. They had to sever some tendon on the left side of my jaw during surgery. It doesn't hurt, it's just a little inconvenient when I'm brushing my teeth and I have a harder time cleaning the roof and tongue because I can't get my toothbrush in there as easily. I'm now an open sandwich eater. I also have to act like a lady and cut things into bite sized pieces. No more jumbo burrito contests. Interesting that you'd have to unhinge the jaw, or that they would need to cut anything around my jaw. I wonder why they had to cut that area inside my head. I wish I had a video of my surgery. Huh.

I'm down to only two pills a day (a far cry from 42 pills a day), one at 8:00am and one at 8pm. It's only for preventing seizures. Yay! I'm still prescribed some heavy duty Tylenol but I try to avoid it as much as possible because I'm trying to clean out my system (my poor liver). I always thought wine would be my downfall, who would have thought it was going to be tumor cells. I honestly thought that my first ailment would be self inflicted. I thought I would have broken a bone, or maybe I'd get diagnosed with lung cancer from a couple of years of rebellion when I thought it was cool to smoke. I really never expected a tumor. All in all I've been a very healthy person. I'm a runner. I love vegetables. I take flax seed, fish oil, and spirulina. I was not expecting this. I guess you never do. At least I've done the best I can to always keep evolving. I continue to make healthier and healthier choices. I guess that's the best you can do.

Ugh. I'm exhausted. I was thinking about that fusing of nerve endings. I'll be laying in my bed sometimes and it will feel like pins and needles randomly on my head - not even close to the scar/scab. Sometimes I'll accidentally say out loud, "OUCH" - Danny looks at me like I'm crazy and then we laugh. It's almost like I've got little leprechauns driving the wheel in my head. I hate that saying, "This too shall pass" but I guess it's annoyingly true because that's all I can think about. This too shall pass.