Thursday, March 23, 2017

We Are Not Stuck

Sometimes I wonder why my lift continues to be so magical. I am so full of happiness? Why do I get to feel this way? How us it possible to me this happy? Shouldnt I be scared? Or angers?

During the lead up in LA, presurgert, I was waiting for a doctor, and while sitting in a room, I heard gurgoral sobbing, then wretch screams that could not be calmed. After a few minutes I got up, and walked over to the nurse to see if there was anything I could do. 

I was gently told that a patient had been notified of a tumor recurrence. I asked she was going to be okay, if she needed help, and the nurse reassured me that she went back and hugered her and she was with our doctor. I thanked her for sharing that hug, and hugged her too. Life is a circle of comcassion, and sometimes that's all you can do.

By the time the doctor got her settled, the office was running falf an hour late, and my rushed physician, mussled in worried I word be mad at him. I let out a laugh so loud that I even stunned myself. 

I shrinked and said, "Hey, that's life!"

We got settled it, and we got to checking in. We had never met as it was he was there to assess the safty of my surgery. To see my risks, and conduct extra blood work - things like that. 

As we reviewed my years of surgeries, the lenthly treatments, and touched on my scheduled brain surgery, only a day or some away, he stopped me and asked in awe, how I can handle this with smiles and laughter. He said wants to research people like me to learn and figure out more so help for other patients. He is aways fascinated by the differet perspectives of people, and how they analyze there situations. I told him I feel the same too! It's wild, really, wow different people see things.

He ashed it he could me some pointed questions about my attitude, and I askered him best I could. I told hi am in absoute awe that I get to be alive. And that means all of it - not just the good stuff. I choose to be happy. Because it really is a decision. I am easy to laugh, because it makes me feel good. I work hard to give people grace. And I'm easy distracted. I love making people laugh, and smile. Those two tings are my favorite things to give. And that I try to limit negativity.

I was very clear that I'm no master, but these are my goals. This is how I try to life my life. And damn if it isn't fun! 
 
World is a very special place, full of choices. Don't like your attitude? Change it. Don't like how that person treats you? Stop spending so much time with them. Feel scared? Start saying aloud, everything you're grateful for. Feeling down? Pick people that lift you up! 

I probably sound simpistic, but you just start little by little. And it requires analyzing your environment, your feelings. We are not stuck, unless we chose to be. 

I choose to be happy, and I do it because it is saving my life. That might sound confusing, but regardless of my cancer, I feel deep joy in my soul, and THAT is what I mean about healing. I can feel healed every day, in my own attiute. It's viseral, palpable, it is with intention and it's my choice.

We are alive as much we want to be. We are present as we want to be.


10 comments:

  1. Love. Love. Love. I think I am going to read this post every single day - forever. We love you so much, Jess! You are a gift to us all. And...the content clarity in your email is AMAZING, by the way. Like...whoa!

    So much love to you. xoxo John, Steph and the girls

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  2. You are amazing girl! I'm also in awe of how well you write and how far your written language has come. Great job healing and feeling alive. Love it!

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  3. Jess, when I grow up I want to be just like you- with the grace, strength, and perseverance that you have. You constantly amaze me with how you handle each situation and how you make the choice to see the positive and to keep hope and love and happiness alive, even in moments most of us would utterly crumble. You are absolutely radiant- you exude light in a world where most of us feel inferior- your glow is contagious even through your blog. Never stop shining- the world needs more people just like you.
    Always sending my love and prayers to you and Dan ❤❤❤❤

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  4. Well hell - you are one of the best people. EVER. You probably show up in my grateful journal AT LEAST once a day and this is the perfect example of why. The beauty of who you are is in the simplicity of your happiness and approach. Thank you for writing this, for constantly spreading your message and bringing your light to this world. Damn, life is fun ;)

    Sending you all the love and hugs to you both.

    xoxo

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  5. Ahh, Jessica thank you so much. I will treasure this post especially because isn't that what this is all about anyway regardless of our own particular circumstances in this lifetime.i hope you guys are back home soon in time for all the beautiful spring blooms and when you are here you will be the best bloom yet!!!!!!

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  6. I love your message, sweet Jessie. I read a book 30 years ago about who survives cancer. Those who lived, all had the same thing in common: a positive attitude and willingness to change their how they lived. You have the answer to a beautiful, loving life. Thank you again for your message.

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  7. Your words emanate light, right through a computer screen.

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  8. You are such an inspiration. You truly have a gift. Thank you Jess.

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  9. Wow! Love this❤️ It's a keeper! One to share! 💙

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  10. Thank you for your beautiful, uplifting & inspirational words !!!!! Bless you for sharing. You are so full of wisdom Jessica, attitude is a choice. Your face and Dan's reflect the joy you have in each other. We love seeing the pictures you post. They make us smile :-) :-)
    Sending you love, thoughts and prayers. We will also keep in prayer the woman who was told she had tumor recurrence.

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