Innately Healthy

I saw the most random sight today, my happy little turtles were hanging out with a heron. Pretty cute! I'm lucky to have such an amazing wildlife refuge right here in the city. It keeps me connected to the freshness of nature.

I took today off of my IV treatments. It's just so much money, and it exhausts me. So, instead, I started doing laundry, and fiddled around the house. I even went for a jog along green lake, stopping at a bench to rest and enjoy the outdoors. That's a first. Usually, I run from doorstep to doorstep. I always enjoy the view, but I never take the time to just sit. Just breathe. Just live.

I've been wondering lately, if maybe I'm in denial. Although I do a crazy amount of research, take a lot of pills, and focus so much on treating myself, I have to admit that in my heart of hearts I don't feel sick. I feel alive, and believe that my exhaustion is due to my treatments, not from my innate body.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm already cured. Is that weird? Is there a way that I'm supposed to handle a situation like this? How do you handle a silent monster growing in your brain?

You're In My Heart

I have a sweet, sweet friend named Libbey who is going to kill me for calling her out on the blog, but I absolutely have to share because she's so kind. Libs was shopping in Friday Harbor at Daisy Bloom and happened upon this sweatshirt. She loved it so much, she bought one. But while she looked at it, and felt how soft it is, she thought to herself, "I think Jess would like this. I'm going to get her one. This way, whenever she's tired, or sad, she will be enveloped in softness, and when she sees the heart she'll be reminded of all the people that love her." Wow. So, here I am, absolutely drained, completely exhausted, worn down from the usual, and the effects of the afternoon IV, and I'm snuggled up in love. My body is warm, my heart is bursting, and I am ready to cuddle the snot out of my Mr Bingie cat. I don't know how I got so lucky to have such amazing friends. Seriously.