Slogged The Whole Lake!!

Dan and I just slogged the lake!!! We went through the blustery rain, a total of three miles in 45 minutes. A pace of just under 13 min mile. No stops.

I'm enjoying focusing on getting better. I have completely revamped my diet, back to its' normal state, along with restricting my calories by 30-40%. It is widely proven that a carbohydrate and calorically restricted diet helps starve tumors and cancer in general. If you calculate the proportions correctly with enough healthy fats and delicious protein, you have enough energy and tend to be satiated. Inevitably, there will be times when you're hungry, but hunger is not that big of a deal, just put water on to boil. Decaf teas of various flavors become your proverbial box of chocolates. And, they heat you up instantly, unlike the type warmth you get from candies (if you know what I mean).

Tomorrow I find out if I'm able to head to Germany for dendritic cell therapy....I'm so nervous!!

To distract, Dan and I decorated our Charlie Brown tree (that's Dan calls it anyway).

By the way, I still haven't gotten back into email or Facebook. It might be a bit. I'm starting with blogging and I'll continue to integrate slowly. I'm happy though, and very excited about how well things are progressing. I'm sleeping a lot, but that makes sense since I'm pushing myself quite a bit. YAY! I love pushing myself!!

Partially Back

Hi Friends! I'm on limited technology. And I have to say that Dan is truly amazing. He can read me so well. In my downtime I've been able to focus on resting. I started a new routine in the mornings, I wake up and pick up the house, make the bed, do any random dishes from Dan's breakfast and I've even been doing small loads of laundry. I do chores for one hour, then put the kettle on and I start stretching. I make a tea, as it cools I continue to stretch and do floor exercises.

I've been able to paint two large canvases for my niece and nephew, which is VERY exciting! I lay in bed every day from 1-3, sometimes napping, other times just laying with my eyes closed (usually pinned by my cat). Dan has been joining me on evening walks. For the first time in weeks Danny had Saturday off, so yesterday morning Dan and I walked, and jogged from our house down and around the lake, then home. The entire trip was about 4 miles. I slogged a total of 1 mile (not consistently).

This morning Dan took me to the gym for the first time since the surgery. We spent a little under an hour, which is fantastic! Heading to the gym is a very big deal because the noise of the loud music, voices, weights clanging - the smells of cleaners, the bleach and vibrations of the cardio machines can be overwhelming at times, triggering auras. I have always been able to get out of the gym before it has turned into a seizure but it's still very scary. Today though, it was a complete success! We worked out on the cardio machine, we did weights and I even went into the woman's locker room to weigh myself without Dan's supervision (I can be overwhelmed at times doing things alone without Dan or someone in case of a seizure).

I feel like I'm focusing on resting, and utilizing my energy for physical activity which is integral for my improvement. I appreciate your patience with emails, texts, phone calls and Facebook stuff. I'm still not back, and at this point in emails alone I have over 75+ legitimate emails that I have yet to respond to. I love all of my friends and family so much, and I'm sorry I'm not a good friend these days. I don't know how long it's going to take me to get caught up, and I'm sorry for that! It's probably going to take a very long time. I probably also won't be up for social stuff, even walks or runs for a bit. It's amazing how tired I am after a normal day, for now I just need to remember that I'm healing and I need to get into a normal routine, take it easy, and as soon as I'm able to get my life semi-back to the way it was, I can start getting social :) I think, initially, I jumped out of the gate running and it was a mistake. I'm fixing it though :)

I love you all, so much. I'm sorry to those of you who I have yet email back, etc. I appreciate the patience.

Tuesday afternoon I have a phone call with my NYC doctor. He will review my surgery notes, my blood work, and my overall health to see if I'm a viable candidate for dendritic cell therapy in Germany. I'm excited, and nervous. My stomach is full of butterflies. Not much rest for the weary :)

This therapy could help clean up residual tumor (the invisible cells) and teach my body to recognize tumor cells as the enemy for the future. To train my body to seek out and rid my body of cancer cells would be AWESOME!! Fingers crossed that the appointment goes well. I'm also grateful that I'm able to discuss my situation over the phone with my doctor, that I don't have to travel. Lots to be thankful about.

1st Neurosurgen Apt (Wenatchee)

Wow. So much has happened in less than 72 hours that I don't even know where to begin.

First of all, I can not believe how loved I am - I have the best life and the most amazing group of family and friends, thanks to everyone that has been bombarding me with love and support through emails, texts, facebook posts, word of mouth, etc. I feel really powerful right now, like I can conquer the world!

Today was great starting out - I've been using my trademark "black humor" which has been really helpful, but then sometime around mid-day I had a reality check and burst into tears that this is going to be such a burden on everyone around me. I'm aware that this is going to be a lot of work for all of us, and I'm really grateful for the all of the love.

So - 2nd Jess Update
I met with the Wenatchee Neurosurgeon yesterday afternoon. He gave me the diagnosis of a Parietal Meningeal Lateral Posterior tumor (don't remember if that's the correct order of the words because I don't have my notes with me). When I looked at the screens from my MRI and Angiogram it was pretty crazy. The tumor is huge. I guess that's why they want to operate immediately. It's pushing the left side of my brain over the midline to the right side of my brain and causing outward symptoms.

They're worried at this point because the tumor is pushing down on my brain onto some veins and an artery and they're worried that the pressure could cause a rupture, seizures, a stroke, etc.

The Wenatchee neurosurgeon wanted me in for surgery at 8:00 am this morning, but I told him that I wanted a second opinion. He is one of two neurosurgeons in Wenatchee and they cover everything below and above to both borders of the state. They're the only neurosurgeons between Spokane and Seattle.

I didn't want to be insulting - but this IS my brain we're talking about here, and after he gave me an overview of the craniotomy, using terminology like, "You will take a nap, then I will scoop it out like ice cream." After that, I really needed another neurosurgeon (from Harborview) to review my file. Right now I'm in a waiting game. All of my film, scans and my chart are waiting at Harborview for review by Dr. Sekhar the head of the neurosurgery department (and widely regarded as one of the top neurosurgeons in the world). They will review everything tomorrow (Friday) and I should hear back on Monday regarding surgery.

I want the best of the best for my surgery, but if I have it in Seattle it's not easy to get home. After surgery I can't go over the passes for a month, can't drive for a month, can't lift anything for a month, oh ya - and I'll be bald. Too bad the bad hair will last for a little longer than 6 weeks. I'm not allowed to put my head lower than my heart right now, but this morning when I came up with my new name GI Jess, I was dying to do a battle roll off my bed and book it to the bathroom just for kicks. Oh well. In time. 

Either way, since I have to get the tumor removed, I'll be getting the craniotomy, but I want to feel really confident and comfortable during the process. Better to make sure that we've got a great team of doctors, because I'm set on living through this!

Anyway, my diagnosis:
*I have what is believed to be a benign tumor (they won't know until they remove it and biopsy it)
*Due to its size/characteristics it's believed to have a high probability of recurrence over the span of my lifetime in different areas of my brain (MRI's for life baby!)

I feel pretty good about what's going on. I feel insanely lucky that the tumor is on the outer area of my brain, and it's believed that I won't lose much if any of my brain function (some would argue that what's left after my college days is questionable anyway, so I'd like to keep what I've got!).