The problem is that I can't seem to keep in ketosis for long periods of time. After a few weeks my willpower disappears. I don't know how to overcome my weakness. I wish it was simple. I wish I was better at this, stronger.
Tomorrow I fly to NYC for another shot. Today I'll fast, tomorrow I'll stick with the ketogenic diet, and hopefully, by Wednesday, shot day, I will be back in ketosis again. I know it's important for me to be in ketosis during shot times. I need to deprive the tumor cells of food, to weaken them so that the virus shot can clean them up. That's the whole point about being in ketosis, when you're in ketosis you are starving the tumor of food. Oh well, what's done is done. All I can do is try again.
Oddly, all I want to do is eat badly. My willpower is gone. Heaven help me. At times like this I wish I lived out in the country. Since I don't drive, I'd be stuck at the mercy of our pantry/fridge which purposely has nothing fun.
The bender was absolutely worth it. Now the trick will be to stop. :) A photo from the weekend, happy birthday to Jules!
I'd better lock myself in the house...I'm badly craving a chocolate chip cookie and coffee. No bueno. Is my willpower on vacation? Ugh.
We don't know each other - so I hope you don't think it's wierd that I have started reading your blog - but i really like the way you right, and I find you help me put things in perspective. Anyway - I just wanted to tell you not to beat yourself up. I am diabetic, and darned if I don't go through periods where I am sneaking chocolate chip cookies and chocolate croissants. It is ridiculous - I am not hurting anyone but myself - but sometimes, after being so good - it's like I go off the rails. I think it's part of being human. I wish you luck getting back on track - I'll be doing the same - or trying, with my sugar free chocolate (which is close, but not the same).
ReplyDeleteThank you! That really does make me feel much, much better. Sometimes I feel crazy, so thank you :)
DeleteJust some quick info - the human body does not like being in ketosis. Research shows that brain hormones will actually trigger the craving for the food/nutrients that it has recognized it is lacking. I am a weight loss specialist and the essence of "willpower" is being partially dismissed. The brain literally stimulates the craving for carbs and fat and the stimulation is higher in many people who have a weight problem. I am also a Type 1 Diabetic and when I have low blood sugar, the craving to eat is overwhelming, out of my control, and purely instinct so that I literally don't die in that moment of low blood sugar. Again, the brain recognizes the lack of blood sugar and kicks it into high gear! So, for you, you are restricting, at its core, SUGAR. The body does not like to burn fat for energy. Hence the reason that you feel as if you lack willpower. Nuh uh!! Your brain/body is recognizing the deficiency, although intentional, and freaks out. You can do it - just be kinder to yourself. There are forces bigger than you that want you to eat! Best wishes :)
ReplyDeleteThat makes SO MUCH sense!! Phew. Now I know I'm not crazy, thank you, thank you, thank you.
DeleteHi Jessica,
ReplyDeleteStephanie Prima-Sarantopulos here (misc17@musetta.us). We haven't met, but I've written before, don't know if you remember. Becki Day gave me your blog site because you and I are somewhat on the same path. I too read Seyfried's book - along with many others, as you probably have done as well.
Please don't beat yourself up about the cravings; your body is telling you to eat some complex carbs. There is a book/website that I've been following and it may be helpful for you as well. It's the Body Ecology Diet, and it focuses on healing the body's gut/metabolism/all the inner workings that play a role in the proliferation of cancer through probiotics. Integral to the diet is cultured vegetables and kefir, which you make at home with a starter. Eating these helps satisfy cravings, and helps with blood sugar swings. I am vegan, and have been following the diet for a week now. With just vegetables, my FBG was in the low 60's, which I know is where you want to be. Since I am tumor free and am just trying to clear away those remaining bad cells, I try to keep my FBG in the low 70's so I added small bits of millet and buckwheat.
Hang in there, girl. If you fall off the wagon, you just dust yourself off and get back on it again - that's the only way you're going to get where you want to go. You're a strong woman - I can tell, or you wouldn't be bucking the system like you are. We all have ups and downs, good days and bad. You'll make it, just hang in there!
Thank you for the book recommendation, I just placed a hold at the library, I'm very excited to read it! And thanks for the info and tricks. You're doing such a great job!! Thank you for sharing, I really appreciate it.
DeleteHave a good trip! (And don't worry....the eating stuff will come around!)
ReplyDeleteYou rock!
Cheers, Ian