Sunday, November 6, 2011

The Time Will Come

I'm grateful for so much each day. Things pop in my head, and then I start smiling. It can be as simple as, "My house is so rad. It's full of daylight even when it's rainy outside!" Lately, though, I've been going for the big ticket items. My mind has been full of happiness thinking about how wonderful it is that I haven't had a seizure since August 5th (the day before my birthday - I was probably just too excited!). I haven't taken anti-seizure medicine since September 27th. And, biggest of all, as Danny and I were running errands today, I realized that I could have just finished last week as my first week of radiation, but instead, I'm happy and healthy and trying to kill this brain tumor with alternative means. I realize that I might have to do radiation (eventually - if there is no other option, and it starts completely growing like an even nastier weed), but right now I'm enjoying the ability to take this into my own hands.

Yesterday, my parents, Danny and I met with the other brain tumor fighter that has been taking the artemisinin. We met with her and her husband and we shared notes. We talked all about the different protocols, the different research out there, and we reviewed both of our pathology reports and all of our MRIs. It was fantastic and incredibly inspiring. Our friends have managed to completely shrink her brain tumor through alternative means. It's unbelievable. Although we had never met, there had been email after email for the past year or so. We combined heads and together, I feel like we can conquer this.

At first I was very concerned because there are so many different types of stage 2 astrocytomas (which we both share), I wasn't sure if we were matching apples to apples. But after sharing our pathology reports, our friend has the same type, along with the "negative for loss codeletion of chromosomes 1p/q 19p/q (can't remember off the top of my head which one has which letter). Anyway, my point is that I have those two chromosomes, as does my friend, which means that our tumors are more aggressive and signify a shorter lifespan. Anyway, after watching her scans, and seeing her brain tumor shrink and shrink, scan after scan, I knew that things were looking up!

Maybe surviving a brain tumor isn't just about luck, or fate, or genetics. Maybe, just as I was hoping all along, it might be treatable or even curable by using healthy choices, and by following herbal research. There just might be a way to treat a brain tumor with diet and supplements. Sometimes the supplements are in massive doses, but who cares! It could slow, halt, or kill the tumor. Wow. This is so big. I just have to keep positive about this process. I'm taking the safe side, unlike my friend who took some pretty substantial amounts (with no serious side effects), but I figure I can still up the ante at my next MRI if things aren't up to my liking.

I'm just so grateful to have this opportunity to squish this with healthy means. I'm forever indebted to our dear friends.

It is going to be so hard to wait for my next MRI in January. I want to start seeing results now! I keep telling my overzealous soul, "Patience little friend, there is no rush. Enjoy each moment, each day, each kiss, each hug, each laugh, each smile, each apple, each salad, each green smoothie, each new smell. The time will come." Each time I have to tell myself that little mantra, my core warms, my cheeks get rosy, I start smiling, and I feel lighter than air. It's the best. It's my favorite problem to have :)

Truly, how wonderful is it that I am not headed for week two of radiation in the morning. HOW WONDERFUL!!! ! ! I know my oncologist probably thinks I'm stupid, but I don't care. This is my body and my life. I will not give up on it, or take the easy, less effective solution. I will fight, I will laugh, I will live, I will not give up.


  1. Jessica ~ You are truly amazing. Your positive outlook comes through everything you say. You make me want to be more grateful for all my blessings...especially good health. Thank you for sharing your journey. Dolly mentioned earlier today that she just put up a post on her Guyser blog. After I read hers I noticed your blog on the side. I feel like you've just educated me regarding your brain tumor and the courageous choice you are making. It seems to be the right way to go for you! You are truly a teacher. People could learn so much from you about "counting blessings" and being excited about all the little miracles of life that surround us each day. God Bless You, Jessica! You are inspriational. Give our love to your parents and Danny. I see Kaal at the bank occasionally. Terese's little Margaret is so cute. She was a bumble bee on Halloween. xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Mary & Smithy

  2. Yes! So happy to read your post this morning!I just know this will work. I can feel it. Happy Monday friend. :) ~ Sara

  3. Something so empowering by taking matters into your own hands! You can do this Jess!

  4. That's my girl!!!! So excited for you to have such positive and hopeful information come your way. You are doing the right thing. So proud and happy for you! ;)

  5. I know you told the Chief that you are tenacious, but he probably never really believed you'd be this tenacious. And that's one of the things we love so much about you: you "take it to the mattress!" You sharing your story wakes us up to ours. Thanks Jessica.

  6. 'I do it mama, I do it'
    has always been your favorite saying.

    xxoo su mamasita

  7. You truely such an amazing woman. I aspire to live life as positively as you. It is so easy to get caught up in the small details of life and not see the big picture. You are facing a huge challence head-on and are doing it with strength and grace. I am happy to hear your enthusiasm about your treatments and I am praying they work as it did for your friend.
    I miss you!
    Sarah & Joey B


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