I'm not sure I'm grasp reality. I tried to do much yesterday, and by the end of the day I didn't make sense. My words stopped properly and legs started clamping. I have tendency to walk around house without cover on my scar because I only look my eyes in the mirror so I kind forget what's going on top my head, and in my life.
I keep thinking that being lazy. I feel like I should be working with my family back warehouse. I'm not quite sure how dial back my energy but then I really get really confuse and exhausted. It's such a challenge step back, and breathe. I want to go for walks, and practice my reading, and writing, and speaking, but just crash. I used to do when I was a kid. My mom would find me sleep passed out on the floor. Always fighting it. I would crash. Bet it was pretty funny to see.
Good thing I've got doctor Danny. He is really patient, and he understands that want to a million things all at once, but at same time he knows just how slow me down. He just makes me laugh and smile and walks me back to bed, tuck me down, and sleep. He sweet to me. I now have a nap 10:00am and 2:00pm nap. I can't believe I sleep so much and I sleep so hard. And he right, because my head hits the pillow like rock. I'm just stubborn. It's nice have him help me take care of me. I don't know what I would be doing right now. It was scare when Danny first lost his job, but now it has been such blessing. Perfect timing. I was worried about money first (probably understatement), working on budget, and cutting back to everything, but after when we got the news about the tumor, we're just grateful that we have time together. It's perfect! Money even matter any more, and I've always been such worrier, but life has amazing way of leveling you out and getting things perspective. I have complete peace about money. For those of you know my worry nature will make them very happy. No stress. Life just going to come it comes, I don't need much, and I have the love my life to make me laugh. We have two great cats and rowdy little dog and we can happy any situation our way. It's freeing life!
This the world making me slow down. I've going, going, going for years, and has been a lot of fun. Now, I trying to exercising restraint. I'm learning much. I love hearing stories about everyone lives. I'm especially excited about Lacen's little baby girl just got a heart transplant, exciting is that! There are so many great victories!
Sorry, this post really jumpy. I have much to think about. I still don't feel I had two brain surgeries. It really wasn't that hard. The hard thing being patient and waking up brain, but that a really easy job. I just have be patient. It's almost like cheating. I don't have to go work. I live in a beautiful bubble where float between nap times try to wake up my thoughts. Everyone should get to go through, it like a vacation! I'm spoiled. I'm even starting feel guilty!
