What's Bright & Has Dots All Over...

This is my second year donating a piece of art for my friend Meghan's philanthropy's art auction. The photo below is just a portion of the 30 inch x 30 inch canvas, which took over 60+ hours to create. I hope that it raises gobs of money for their fundraiser!!! I'm off to shower, and then off to the auction!!! Hope everyone has a wonderful evening!

Community



"Humans, like this piece, are full of color. They are constantly changing, shifting, growing, reaching. Even at our darkest points, we're never far from connection, laughter, euphoria. Each person, each color, is stunning alone, but when they come together, when WE come together, each unique shade, hue, and tint become more vivid. We are all more beautiful, more alive, as a part of our community, our human family."

More "Hope"

The first day of 2-2-2 twice daily went great yesterday. I was dizzy and felt a little bit disconnected to my limbs, but that's no big thing. I was able to avoid eating until noon, at which point I made a homemade humus bok choy sandwich, and ate an apple. The most noticeable side affect came at 11:01 am (I'm taking copious notes). I had a sharp pain in my head, then I had a rushed taste of metal in my mouth. Within seconds it was gone. I'm hoping that it was a massive explosion of cancer cells, that all of the iron spontaneously combusted, and now my body is flushing out the debris. A girl can dream can't she?!? :)

It's nerve wracking to put myself out there with this new treatment. I kept worrying last night, what if it's a bust? But then, while we were laying in bed, I asked Danny to give me his mental illustration of the artemether as it gets digested. Of course he leant to a military analogy. He kept saying things like, "The artemether soldiers are marching through your intestines." And I asked, "Are they singing a marching song like the do in the movies?!?" It was fun to take the stress out of the situation. I'm lucky to have a man that will play along.

Today I have a break from the artemether, piperine and butyrate. Tomorrow, though, we double the dosage and take the pills twice. Instead of the 2-2-2 twice daily, it will be 4-4-4 twice daily. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I keep telling myself, "Why not believe that I can beat this. Why not believe that the artemether will work. Why not believe that I can change my destiny. Maybe ridding myself of this cancer IS my destiny!"

I want this protocol to work so badly, not just for me, but for all of my friends that I've met that also have brain cancer. I am in the perfect position to try new things. I have a supportive husband that never ceases to amaze me. I have a great family that helps me stay on track that researches all of the alternatives. I have friends that walk hand in hand with me, that keep me laughing, and smother me in hugs. I don't have the responsibility of children. I have the drive to stay on course. I want this to work so that I can be a guinea pig to help others change their destiny too. There is no reason why we can't beat this. Doctors don't even really know what causes brain cancer. They believe it could be a wide variety of things. If there are a wide variety of causes, then it's fair to reason that there could multiple cures. We just have to figure them out! And, if this artemether doesn't work, then that doesn't mean that other things won't.

Here's a fun photo from last night's dinner.
It looks pretty boring, but it was surprising filling.
Shown: Homemade spinach and jalapeno humus, raw broccoli (for dipping), and an everything but the kitchen sink salad (purple kale, arugala, spinach, green onions, garlic, tomato, avocado, fresh cracked pepper, squeezed lime, & extra virgin olive oil)

Danny is such a sport. Often nights, dinner is a simple meal. Last night might have been the most simple meal in a long time. I think, maybe, I was trying to make up for the naughty martinis from Saturday night. Like I've always said, I have to be just a little bit bad or I get stir crazy. The little gremlin in me needs to be fed, then I can go on with strength and determination.

On another note, I have an amazing story of friendship and love. I have no idea how my life has been so magical. I am the luckiest girl. I have been surrounded with literally, living angles. Do you remember the piece of art that I made for my friend Meghan's philanthropy? It was called, "Hope." Anyway, last night, Meghan stopped by with a huge package, she had called earlier, asking for help. When she arrived, she started cutting open the package, and I just assumed she needed a bunch of cutting done for someone's Christmas present or something. Nope. She needed me to sign a few things....

Meghan bought my piece of art at the WPIG Pigture Perfect Art Auction so that she would have the rights. She then came up with the idea to contact a bunch of my girlfriends (shown below in the row boat), to chip in to start a site on Etsy.com to fundraise. It's called Hope For Jess and it's prints of my piece of art. How cool is that!?!

The girls paid for all of the prints (there are regular prints and canvas prints). Megs said that the prices are a bit dear, but that's okay. If they don't sell, maybe they can put them on sale :)

Girls Weekend 2011
Top: Libbey, Lauren, Kristin, Jenny, Michelle, Laura
Bottom: Jessaca, Meghan, Julia, Me
Not Shown: Jessica (Abu Dhabi) & Courtney

I am still, so blown away. This is exactly why I should be doing this protocol, and whatever protocol may come my way in the future until we figure this out. It is imperative that someone like me work as a guinea pig so that others that don't have the energy or time, or resources, can get well. I constantly feel love and support, and I am just so grateful for all of the friendship and generosity. I feel like we're all working together as some sort of badass team, working for the greater good. Maybe that's a lofty attitude, but it's just how I feel.

On a final note, I am happy to share that three years ago to the day, Danny and I had our first date. It was the most magical night of my life. At one point, he insisted that he carry me like we were going over a threshold, all because it was snowing and I was wearing heels. It was perfect in every way, and it makes me cry with big fat tears of joy that we came together. He makes me happy from morning to night. Even when we're cranky there's always laughter. If you've never met him, I'm sure you can tell how amazing he is from the stories on the blog. He has never wavered in his support or love. He found me sexy even while bald with 52 bloody staples across my head. He shuttled me on two hour drives in each direction to doctor appointments, to rehabilitation appointments, his dedication never wavered. When we didn't know if I'd read again, or get back to running and living my life, when I could only use one syllable words, and we didn't know if I would ever have enough energy to truly LIVE, he was happy just cuddling on the couch, or resting silently. I know that he is my soulmate, that I am the best person I can be because he supports all that is good. A partner like Danny is a miracle to come by, and I think about that every day. When I'm stressed, I just picture his face and it soothes me. He is a main reason why I have the will and desire to strive for perfect health. I know it will be an ongoing journey for the rest of my life, but with Danny by my side I know I can do it! Cheers to Danny, my love.

I am Healthy and Strong

It took me a bit, but I finally hooked my camera to the computer. Here are a few fun photos from the WPIG Pigture Perfect fundraising event a month ago.....

Great Minds Think Alike

Mom & Dad

My Thoughtful Hilarious Beautiful Seattle Girls

I have such a wonderful life. I can't even believe it. This past weekend, Danny and I hid from the world. We watched old episodes of Sons Of Anarchy (sometimes I have to close my eyes). We walked around Green Lake. We laughed. We went and checked out the luminaries down by the water - it was beautiful even though I have no idea what it symbolized.

I am so grateful to be alive! I still get doubt and fear. It pops up just for a second here or there throughout the day, but I've started combatting it. Each time I fret, and worry about this cancer, I take a deep breath and I say, "I am healthy and strong." And it's true! I am healthy, and I am strong. I will not live in fear of this cancer. Instead of fearing this coming MRI (next month to the day), I am going to use my logic. I have not had a seizure in over four months. I can walk around Green Lake, even if I can't always run it. I have started lifting weights three nights a week. I am capable. I feel great. I am healthy. I am strong. Most of all, I'm happy.

Luminaries Around Green Lake

"Hope"

A very good friend, Meghan (you may remember her from other posts, or her parents who housed Danny while he was training in Portland), has a non-profit philanthropy called WPIG. She knows I love to paint, and although I didn't have the energy to do it last year, this year, I created! It's not the masterpiece I envisioned, but it definitely depicts my personality.

There's an art auction in Fremont, at the Fremont Abby Arts Center, on Friday November 4th at 7:00pm. If you're going to be in the area, buy tickets and come! I guarantee that with this crew of WPIG members, and WPIG supporters, you will have an unforgettable night filled with laughter, smiles, hugs, handshakes and beauty. If you can't attend, and you're interested, there's several different options to donate on the WPIG website.

"Hope"

The art auction is a fundraiser for Ryther. I highly recommend you check out their website; my favorite tab is, Ryther Voice. It's incredibly inspirational and moving. I think the best virtue in humanity, is kindness, and Ryther is full of volunteers and workers that are forging to make our world a better place. There are so many kids that need help getting on their feet, and at the risk of sounding preachy, I believe that when people strive to meet their potential, we all succeed.

About Ryther:
"We serve children and adolescents referred by parents, physicians, state agencies, courts, schools and other providers working with children. We have expanded our services to include programs and solutions for families with children who have challenges stemming from trauma, mental illness, substance abuse, Autism Spectrum Disorders, or adjustment issues with school, peers or parents." - http://www.ryther.org/

I know that there are a million, or actually billions of places where people can donate their time or money, so please don't get overwhelmed. Wherever you can donate, to any cause that's dear to you, just do it. Even if it's $20 or old books that your children don't read. There's always a place for reused things. Over the past year and a half, since the original diagnosis, I've received financial gifts in the mail, money in a donation account, cash stuffed in my hand, and I'm telling you, $20 melds into $100 and all of a sudden a payment on a bill is paid. It has all been out of the goodness of people's hearts, too. I've cried multiple times from the generosity. It's just overwhelming. I like to think that money has a life of its own. It passes from hand to hand, and to me it represents kindness, generosity, piece of mind, well wishes, and wherever I donate, or pass on my money, I hope it sends love around the world, weaving its beautiful little way on the path that it takes. I am in a great position to give to the Ryther organization. I might have medical bills, and a crazy brain tumor which requires expensive alternative treatments, but I can still give a small amount. A little bit goes a long way. I challenge you, next time you see something you believe in, donate $10 or $20 dollars. I guarantee you won't even know it was gone.