It's a special talent. I'm an obnoxiously happy morning dancing cook. In fact, I'm pretty much an obnoxiously happy morning dancing anything. Some have implied a need to shorten solely to just obnoxious morning person, but I'd argue that I bring the party first thing. Best way to start the day. From the moment my eyes open I might as well have been awake for hours, it's instant.
I do love a good morning sleep, but those are much harder to come by. I've always been a morning person, possibly carried through by my nature as a light sleeper - and I never want to miss anything.
As for MRI results, I'm still waiting for UCLA's confirmation on the "no new growth". My scans didn't make it into last Wednesday's tumor board (it's a very busy place) so I have to wait for next Wednesday, the 19th. One of the hardest things about living with a disease like this is all of the waiting. It can tax even the most patient of saints (of which I am not). It's impossible to remove the fear, impossible to forget, but I have learned that deep breaths and surrender can keep me on track.
My life will never be as it was before, but I don't want to live in a state of fearful toxicity. I remember a friend's sister sharing her Muslim beliefs about halal animal slaughter (random, I know, but bear with me). I won't go totally into it, but here's an excerpt, "Muslims are taught through the Qu'ran that all animals should be treated with respect and be well cared for. The goal is to slaughter the animal, limiting the amount of pain the animal will endure." Yes, they slit the neck and drain the blood, but everything happens very quickly. I respect the process; I like how it focuses on the least amount of suffering, and the avoidance of fear. Unrelated (although related - know what I mean?) I've read that standard slaughterhouse practices in our meat industry are pretty inhumane. I'd hate to be a cow going through the process. As an animal is engulfed with fear, stress hormones surge through the body. If that raging fear is preceding death, the body/meat will be marinated in stress hormones. I'm no genius, but that doesn't sound like a great plan. I have a weird motto that I want to eat happy creatures, things that have been living as near to their natural habitat, with their natural food sources. I feel like the positive energy, and happiness from the animals transfer to my body as I eat them. I don't want eat bruised, battered animals. That makes me sad and grosses me out. My point, to pull it all together, is that I want to live a halal kind of life. (Not necessarily blessed by Alah, although it couldn't hurt, might as well cover all the bases.) I don't want to live within the confines of a cage, without the freedom to roam. I want to be respected, and most of all, I want to be oblivious of when my time will come.
To Read More About Halal Butchering: The Halal Slaughter Controversy
i couldn't agree with that last sentence more :) you're results will come soon, its easier to wait when it should be good news.
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