Thursday, February 7, 2013


I have been eating like a horse lately. I can't seem to feel satiated. I'm hoping it's because I've jump started running again. (Previously, I had only been running twice a week - now it's four.) Hopefully my crazy cravings and absurd hunger will level out. :)

I am having so much fun training! It forces me out of the house for a run, even if it's dumping rain. Each day that I cross off my running calendar makes me feel so accomplished. I end up feeling invigorated. Thrilled. Ready to conquer the next hurdle. And tired, and sore, but in a good way! I haven't ran a half marathon since before I was diagnosed.

My first half marathon was in 2007, and I started training because I was quite overweight. Seriously. My fattest point (and I say "fat" because the extra weight was pure lard) was 182. I'm not even joking. I'm 5'6 3/4. I haven't had a weight problem since that point in my life, I've fluctuated, sure, but I will never get to that point again. After all of the surgeries I've always gained between 5-7 lbs, but although I keep tabs, I don't go crazy to keep a certain weight. I weigh myself every week or so, just to stay informed. I have the kind of body that disperses weight pretty evenly, so I can gain 10 or more lbs and still be in the same jean size. My clothes keep secrets quite well, so well that they don't even keep ME informed. Therefore, I am one of the scale lovers. Some people hate scales, and that's fine too, I figure we all have to find our own tricks.

Anyway, this half-marathon training is such a powerfully emotional and inspirational venture. It signifies that I'm capable, that I am strong. That I am in control of my body, and my mind. That I can stick to a schedule. That I'm one step closer to living a real life, closer to proving that I can hold a job, and most of all, that I am healthy.

Each time I look at my muddy running shoes and see the wear, or feel the ache in my muscles I feel proud. It's quite possibly one of the best feelings in the world.

Best breakfast in ages, oatmeal, ground flaxseed, frozen handpicked FH blackberries from my brother


  1. Wooohoooooo!!!!!

    I loved this post. There is no greater feeling than what you describe Jess! You are in control of your body and mind...and it must feel sooooo good!!! YAY for strong working healthy muscles!!!

    Big love from NYC!

    Steph and John

  2. Strong mind, strong body, awesome! Each day is a new blessing, and a chance to experience life and all it has to offer. You really do not have limits, and if you do you push them. The world really is your oyster!!!!!


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