Problem Fixed

Success! I received a phone call and my neuro-oncologist will meet with us one hour after the previously scheduled, then cancelled, appointment. I feel guilty for having to be so straight forward and direct. It's frustrating to feel guilty about wanting an appointment with my oncologist. I don't enjoy being forceful. A girlfriend who is also dealing with brain cancer gave me solace though. She said that she's never been bumped by her doctor, that at each MRI review she's met with her doctor - not the doctor's nurse (different hospital). And that she would be upset if she was in my position.

I've been bumped at least three times that I can remember. The most memorable was in October. We met with my radiation oncologist's nurse, she reviewed my MRI and said that the tumor looked great, that she wasn't sure if there was any new growth or not - there was an area of concern, but it could be the positioning of my head during the scan. The nurse said that my oncologist would call the following week with the final results. Unsatisfied, my mom pressed on and said, "Is there any way to meet with the doctor?" That's when we headed over to Harborview's Gamma Knife Center, intent on sitting in my radiation oncologist's office until he would meet with us and answer our questions. It turns out that there was significant growth, and when we met with my radiation oncologist, he wanted me to immediately start radiation, the very next week. If we wouldn't have pressed on, and would have instead gone home after the appointment with the nurse, my family would have gone back to Wenatchee, Danny would have been back to work, and I would have been at home when I received the phone call with the horrible news that they wanted me to start radiation. That's not something you should have to hear over the phone. It was a massive eye opening experience, reminding me that I have to stay on top of my care. I'm lucky to have a team, my husband and family, and there's definitely strength in numbers. Follow your gut, and don't be afraid to voice concerns. It's sad that you have to stand up for yourself, but it's the medical world that world we live in. 

Either the University of Washington's neuro-oncology department is understaffed, overwhelmed, masters of double billing, are out of touch with their patients and their feelings or maybe they just don't take cancer very seriously (which I doubt). Maybe it's a little bit of all of the above. Oh well. It must be irritating for some of the nurses and doctors, I don't believe that they're heartless, but there's a bottom dollar and currently my hospital has a bad system, that's for sure. 

On another note, here's a new recipe that I made us for dinner!

Dinner

Lacino Kale Salad
10 large kale leaves, thickly shredded
1 cherry pepper finely diced (you can chop a few of the seed to add some spice)
pine nuts to taste
romano sheep cheese to taste (I zested ours, but you could grate, or it however you want)

Toss the above ingredients (except for the cheese) with a mix of olive and sesame oil, the juice of one squeezed lime, and fresh cracked pepper. Dish up, and zest some romano on top.

On a side note, has anyone else ever noticed that lacino always has a bunch of little bugs in it. They're like little aphids or something. I wash each leaf by hand, pulling the little bugs off, but it's gross. I don't think I can continue to eat it. Any suggestions before I complete give up?

Juggling Act

I am so incredibly frustrated. This happens lately with each reoccurring MRI, they juggle me around, calling the week prior to change things. They change up my appointments, cancel on me, or switch me to see nurses instead of my doctors, and it's incredibly frustrating! They don't even ask! We schedule my MRIs three months in advance. My parents take time off of work, travel to Seattle to be with me, and Danny takes time off of work.

This time, at the last minute (I still consider a week to be last minute in these trying times), they called to tell me that my neuro-oncologist is no longer going to make my appointment, and that I will be meeting with his "very knowledgeable nurse." I believe there are nurses that know much more than doctors, but in the past, my experience has not been good. Each MRI appointment that was held with a nurse instead of the oncologist has been riddled with bad information. I'm sick of meeting with a nurse, then having to come back to meet with the doctor to get my questions answered. I'm done paying for multiple appointments. It's unnecessary. I only want to talk to my oncologist. If I can't meet with my oncologist, I might as well just get the MRI and review it myself. The nurses always have to refer to the doctor to get my questions answered anyway, as they are very technical - or if you recall during the last MRI review, the nurse said my brain tumor was growing significantly when it actually remained the same exact size (10 x 16 x 9). I'm done with the roller coaster of misinformation. I realize that there will be errors, that medical professions are human, but I'm not going to pay hundreds of dollars to someone who may or may not know what they're talking about.

As a patient, I am a customer. I have hired my doctor to provide a service, which is to review my MRI with me and answer any questions I might have. It is irresponsible to cancel a meeting, and contract out the job to a less qualified (although surely nice) person. This cancer patient seems to get pushed around by her doctors. I hope that I'm the only one. It's overwhelmingly frustrating, right in a time when I least need more stress.

I left a message for the nurse who cancelled the appointment with my neuro-oncologist (she did it over a voicemail no less), letting her know that, "Yes, actually, I do have a problem meeting with the nurse practitioner, it's not personal, but I've hired the doctor to meet with me and review my MRI. My family is traveling from out of town, they've reserved hotels since I can't accommodate everyone. My husband has asked for time off, and in this economy, that's risky. We anticipate these appointments and take them very seriously; this brain tumor is our whole life, everything revolves around these appointments. I realize that the doctor has different priorities, but this cancer is incredibly overwhelming and I wish we would be shown a little more respect. We are willing to meet with the doctor any time throughout the day, surely there's a few moments when he can squeeze us in and honor our appointment."

If my new (yep, he's my new guy - I've only met with him once) neuro-oncologist is too booked up to meet with me, they shouldn't have allowed him to take me on as a new patient. I realize that I'm probably annoying since I'm very hands on, and that I always come with all sorts of questions, but I take my health very seriously. I mean, think about it, I've been told that this cancer is going to kill me, that I should not have children - I'm basically in a holding pattern, waiting for the next shoe to drop. I am astounded that this is how they treat someone who is fighting for their life. Although I do a lot of research about my cancer, my options, clinical trials, western, complementary and alternative treatments, etc., I also want to tap into the brain of my neuro-oncologist to answer my questions. I have a few non-negotiables: I will not over pay, or get double billed anymore (like an appointment with the nurse just to have to make another appointment with the doctor to get my questions answered), and I will not be pushed around with appointments. If they can't meet with me then I will need to find a new doctor (of course I won't tell THEM that - who knows if they'd even care).

I was so worked up just now that I had to walk into the kitchen and try a new recipe. It's was forwarded to me from a friend, and although I've tweaked it, it still has the same bones.

Turmeric Tea
1/2 Teaspoon ground turmeric (curcumin)
1/2 Lime (squeezed)
*Add agave, or stevia if you'd like
*Add milk if you'd like

If you don't appreciate Indian food, you may not enjoy this tea, but man, I swear it is scrumptious. I'm a tea fanatic, I actually have a whole drawer full of various teas, and I'm always excited to try new stuff. This drink is special since turmeric is known to kill cancer cells. It's pretty hard to ingest enough to actually kill cancer, but if you start sticking the root or the powder in everything, it sure makes it more likely! I also took two BioPerine pills (black pepper extract). Black pepper aids in the absorption of turmeric. Some people add milk to the tea, but I don't think it needs it. Another note, you'll want to continuously stir it, as the powder settles.

Sorry, for complaining throughout this entire post. I'm frustrated that I get so worked up about this stuff. I wish I didn't care, that I wouldn't have so many questions, that I didn't need to be integrally involved in my care. I wish I could just do whatever the doctors say, and be satisfied. It certainly would be much easier. The thing is, I just absolutely can not do it. I always need it to add up, I need reasons, and I need individualized care. Each cancer fighter is dealing with a unique situation. Patients react differently to mirrored treatments. Each tumor even in the same category is different. They grow differently, the characteristics may be similar, but they manifest in their own way. It is ingrained into my being that I will not survive if I am pooped through the medical system on a one-size-fits-all conveyor belt.

I believe that someday I won't need to take these MRIs so seriously. Someday my MRIs will be an afterthought, or non-existent. Unfortunately, in the meantime, I'm probably going to continue to be the friendly, yet annoying, cancer patient.