Sorry I was such a crank, such a downer the other day. The food and exercise parts of this whole tumor thing is very much overwhelming (as I'm sure you could see). It often seems as if I need to vent on the blog in order to get my mind right. One of the things that I determined is that running purifies my soul. It allows my mind to filter thoughts, emotions, until they are clean. Running keeps me mentally stable, and positive, and happy in a way that nothing else can. There are a lot of satisfying things in life, but not much more makes me feel accomplished, and grounded, and alive. So, today, even though it was pouring rain and wind whipped me all over the place, I rewarded myself with two runs.
Granted I didn't run fast. It wasn't about that. As the wind whipped my face, I lifted my head to the sky; I closed my eyes and let the rain wash me of my fears. My heart swelled and happiness overwhelmed me nearly pushing me into relieved tears.
This is the time when I should be enjoying myself, I mean shoot - they don't even know if I have conclusive tumor tissue. Now is the time to enjoy those runs, to recharge and reboot.
It's hard to know when to hit the tumor hard, or when to give a little slack, but I think I'm finding a logical, happy medium.
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| I've never been accused of being trendy, gotta love my lucky TCU socks though! | |
