Cancer Convos: Episode 2 Fertility

I have been dragging my feet a little bit on posting Episode 2 of Cancer Convos with Crush & Coconuts, for two reasons:

1. We recorded the episode 45 minutes after a seizure that really wiped me out, so my drugged up and exhausted state is cringeworthy.

2. It's a very personal, very raw video that is clearly difficult for me to open up out. As you know I emote, and share in written form - to expose myself in a video is much more intimidating. There's no way to hide your face, the tone of your voice, the tears.

I don't even remember recording, as I blackout after seizures, usually not remembering anything for at least 24 hours afterward so essentially, I'm watching this new with you. Without further adiau, please enjoy our experiences with fertility as it concerns with cancer.

And as always, if you have anything to add, please post comments so that others can learn from your experience. I always love comments on my blog posts, but I imagine the most beneficial place would be on the YouTube channel episode. Thank you for watching! :)

My Inner Coward

My favorite photo of Chicago. Matt and my gummy bear race in his, Miriam and Nate's room. It's fun to laugh with friends that we've known since we were little. Matt & Nate lived next door since the time I was in middle school. I remember, from time to time - when I was lucky - getting rides home from school from the neighbor boys, saving me from the one mile walk along the dirt road. The Wight brothers. They were always down for a little basketball at their place, or mine, you would hear a ball bouncing and it was on. I have so many amazing memories in Friday Harbor. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and relive it all over again. Back to a time when my biggest concern was earning my driver's license.

I'm writing another post because I can't sleep. I feel like I have adrenaline bursting through my veins and nausea, along with dread, fear, and some sadness. I am one of those girls that is walking with the weight of the world on her shoulders. One of my favorite TV shows is called Parenthood. Dan can't stand it because it seems too realistic, but for me that's exactly what draws me in. One of my favorite things in life is watching human dynamics, and relationships, ebb and evolve. I'm in a vulnerable place right now, inching toward the knife, again attending appointment after appointment, MRI after MRI, reality into reality, deeper I go. In my show one of the characters has been diagnosed with breast cancer and the storyline stirs up so many emotions. It makes me confused, and reminds me of so many things. I find myself watching with tears running down my face. It feels cathartic and yet masochistic.

I am terrified of undergoing another brain surgery. I am scared for my head, all my little happily rebellious hair follicles, the scalp, the skin, the scar, the skull, the dura mater, the meninges, my brain tissue, oh wow, my poor body. Last time I went under the knife it was not an option. This time, I worry that I might regret walking into this. It could cure me but it could also kill me. That is a heavy burden and it's mine to bear. There are craniotomies performed all the time, hundreds perhaps thousands, I'm sure, most days of the week all over the country. I love hearing success stories, but unfortunately, I hear mostly those of horror. And with my history of complications, I feel as if I have plenty of reason to be concerned. I feel as if I am in my weakest point, that my warrior spirit is at an all time low. I'm still happy and enjoying my life, I'm laughing a lot, but deep in my soul it's stormy.

I don't need anyone to fluff me up and build my confidence if it isn't genuine, but if you could be strong for me, I would greatly appreciate it. I am unable to bear more than my load, and I'm sorry for that. I wish I could be stronger.

Beautiful Reciprocation

Thursday was an adventure. I hopped on a bus, then a second bus, and arrived at the Ballard library to take advantage of the free tax help. Free tax help? How wonderful is that! When it came to my turn, I pulled up my chair to speak with Judy. She appeared to be in her sixties, and I noticed that the hair around her ears was white and wispy, yet on the top it was carrot orange. She was very helpful, but at first, she didn't want to review my receipts for an itemized deduction. She scoffed and said, "Since you're married, there's no way you can beat the standard deduction of $11,400." My face flushed, and I said, "Actually, I have cancer and quite a bit of medical bills." Instantly her entire demeanor changed, and I realized her orange hair was a wig. She turned to me, with a half smile, and said, "I'm just about to go through my third round of chemo, the coming round is just for insurance - I'm beating it. My sister, who was Harvard educated died of breast cancer at age 34, along with my aunt, and I knew odds were good so I wasn't exactly surprised."

Here we were working on my taxes, complete strangers, discussing intimate details of her life. She seemed lonesome, brimming with pent up emotion like a bathtub overflowing with water. Judy talked, and talked, and I listened. I understand how much I've needed a good listener at times. We never discussed my cancer, or my situation, only my financials. It was refreshing. And, in the end, I felt like I was able to give her something valuable in return for her help. It was a beautiful reciprocation, and I was grateful that life had brought us together.

Breakfast Drink
12 Carrots
2 Inches of peeled ginger
2 Inches of the entire diameter of a green cabbage

Broccoli Sprouts

I am officially growing my own organic broccoli sprouts. How fun is this!?! Allegedly, the process is very easy and we should have edible sprouts in 3-5 days. Year-round sprouts. This is fantastic!

I'm grateful to have Danny home. It's true what they say, with the right mate people DO live longer. We're eating ridiculous amounts of garlic, onions, and broccoli. We are two stinky partners in crime.

Here is a link to an article about sulforaphane explaining how it causes apoptosis (programmed cell death) in glioblastoma tumors (the most malignant and prevalent brain tumor around). I don't know the exact amount that naturalists use in treatment, or in experimentation for that matter, but I figure the more sulforaphane I can include in my diet, the less radiation or further treatment I'll need later.

If you're interested, you can google sulforaphane, and read how it kills lots of different cancer cells, not just brain tumor cells - it's very effective at fighting breast cancer cells too! Eat your broccoli. Seriously. Or, if you can't stomach enough broccoli, grow some sprouts like me! They're delicious on everything, salads, sandwiches, wraps, even pizza. According to Danny you can put sprouts on anything that takes toppings, "bagels, tuna....everything, pretty much."

I just remembered an article from months past that I posted, and I'm going to do so again, below. It's the specific information from John Hopkins scientists stating, "broccoli sprouts consistently contain 20 to 50 times the amount of chemoprotective compounds found in mature broccoli heads." You can read the article here on my blog, or click the title for the actual website.

Cancer Protection Compound Abundant in Broccoli Sprouts 

September 15, 1997
Media Contact: Marc Kusinitz
Phone: (410) 955-8665
E-mail: mkusinit@welchlink.welch.jhu.edu
 

Photo: Keith Weller Dr. Paul Talalay displays broccoli sprouts. 2100x1585, 300dpi TIFF JPEG, (2.7 MB) "The young sprouts that we have found . . ."

JOHNS HOPKINS SCIENTISTS have found a new and highly concentrated source of sulforaphane, a compound they identified in 1992 that helps mobilize the body's natural cancer-fighting resources and reduces risk of developing cancer.

"Three-day-old broccoli sprouts consistently contain 20 to 50 times the amount of chemoprotective compounds found in mature broccoli heads, and may offer a simple, dietary means of chemically reducing cancer risk," says Paul Talalay, M.D., J.J. Abel Distinguished Service Professor of Pharmacology. 

Talalay's research team fed extracts of the sprouts to groups of 20 female rats for five days, and exposed them and a control group that had not received the extracts to a carcinogen, dimethylbenzanthracene. The rats that received the extracts developed fewer tumors, and those that did get tumors had smaller growths that took longer to develop.

In a paper published in tomorrow's issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Talalay and his coworkers describe their successful efforts to build on their 1992 discovery of sulforaphane's chemoprotective properties. Work described in the study is the subject of issued and pending patents.

A systematic search for dietary sources of compounds that increase resistance to cancer-causing agents led the Hopkins group to focus on naturally occurring compounds in edible plants that mobilize Phase 2 detoxification enzymes. These enzymes neutralize highly reactive, dangerous forms of cancer-causing chemicals before they can damage DNA and promote cancer.

"A comparable amount of chemoprotective activity . . ." Photo: Keith Weller Dr. Jed Fahey examines young sprouts. 1500x2100, 300dpi TIFF JPEG (2.3 MB)

Sulforaphane "is a very potent promoter of Phase 2 enzymes," says Jed Fahey, plant physiologist and manager of the Brassica Chemoprotection Laboratory at Hopkins, and broccoli contains unusually high levels of glucoraphanin, the naturally-occurring precursor of sulforaphane.

However, tests reported in the new study showed that glucoraphanin levels were highly variable in broccoli samples, and there was no way to tell which broccoli plants had the most without sophisticated chemical analysis.

"Even if that were possible, people would still have to eat unreasonably large quantities of broccoli to get any significant promotion of Phase 2 enzymes," Talalay says.

Clinical studies are currently under way to see if eating a few tablespoons of the sprouts daily can supply the same degree of chemoprotection as one to two pounds of broccoli eaten weekly. The sprouts look and taste something like alfalfa sprouts, according to Talalay.
Talalay founded the Brassica Chemoprotection Laboratory, a Hopkins center that focuses on identifying chemoprotective nutrients and finding ways to maximize their effects. Brassica is a plant genus more commonly known as the mustard family, and includes in addition to broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cabbage, kale, cauliflower and turnips.

"Man-made compounds that increase the resistance of cells and tissues to carcinogens are currently under development, but will require years of clinical trials to determine safety and efficacy," Talalay notes. "For now, we may get faster and better impact by looking at dietary means of supplying that protection. Eating more fruits and vegetables has long been associated with reduced cancer risk, so it made sense for us to look at vegetables.

"Scientists currently need to continue to develop new ways of detecting and treating cancer once it is established, but it also makes sense to focus more attention on efforts to prevent cancer from arising," he adds.

Fahey and Yuesheng Zhang, M.D., Ph.D., a postdoctoral fellow, are also authors on the PNAS paper.

Work in Talalay's laboratory is supported by the National Cancer Institute, philanthropic contributions to Brassica Chemoprotection Laboratory, and grants from the Cancer Research Foundation of America and the American Institute for Cancer Research.

Talalay is establishing the Brassica Foundation, a foundation that will test and certify chemoprotective vegetables such as sprouts to raise funds for chemoprotection research.

Aaaaah, The Period of Oscillation

Hi Guys,

Sorry I've been MIA with my posts. It was the longest hiatus thus far. I started several different posts, but I stopped myself. I was oscillating between happy and sad, and I didn't want to regret sharing any of my emotions/sentiments because sometimes I'm just venting, and to be honest, I was pretty negative.

Over the weekend a friend said a couple of comments that didn't really sit well. He said, "Aren't you glad you didn't have breast cancer or something horrible like that!?!" And my response was, "I don't know, I've never had breast cancer." I'm sure that he doesn't understand the situation, and he's probably just making small talk, but it was hurtful. Can you imagine if a woman who was dealing with breast cancer was told, "At least you don't have a brain tumor." I'm still processing this whole situation, and I'm pretty raw. When Danny and I took a walk the next day and I told him that I'm just starting to process everything that I just went through (and how it impacts my future), I told him that I can't even imagine going through breast cancer. I don't think anyone can quantify ailments. It's all relative. My battle is my tumor and it's scary, and yet I'm learning about life, and compassion, and humanity. I want to be able to love completely toward Danny, and to my family, and to my friends, and how can you do that if you don't have a basis of compassion? This is a huge gift, even though sometimes I get frustrated and my scalp itches like the effing dickens, I'd rather be compassionate, and love better, than to have an easy life.

I have a very close friend who's two year old son has to go under general anesthesia next week and I'm scared for her. I'm worried for the little guy! Everything in life is precious, and things can change in an instant. Her situation is scary. She recognizes it, and I recognize it. And yet, at the same time, we use our own experiences help understand what other people are going through.

The other thing that miffed me (sorry, back to the first paragraph), and then made me sad, was when the same fella asked me if I had any idea that my words are messed up. The guy honestly asked me if I had any clue weird my words sound out loud (which most people politely tell me that they don't notice - or maybe they don't know me well enough to assess). I make more sense typing than talking and it's frustrating. But please let me assure you that I understand perfectly well what you're saying to me.  I guess it's better that people ask me questions instead of having unanswered questions that they continue to talk about behind my back. Maybe that's the whole point? Maybe I need to thicken my skin and get over it.