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| Documenting my love affair with moss |
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| Sleeping Lovers |
Last night, I was a bad girl. I can't be good all the time. It's in my DNA, just ask my grandma. Trust me, she'll know what I'm talking about. She's a little naughtier than me, and boy is it her charm. There is no one like her! Sometimes I need to turn on some soothing music, uncork a bottle of pino, pour a glass, take a deep breath, close my eyes and tell myself that everything will be okay. Last night I listened to Lana Del Ray. If you've never heard her sing, she's mesmerizing.
I keep chugging along, but I have little blurps of exhaustion. I'm in a blurp. I think it's related to the fact that I can't run. One more day. Ugh. One more day, except I stretched in my sleep, which quickly woke me up in a rip of pain. A little tear of the stitches which were healing so well. Damn. Tomorrow I'll gauge whether or not I should run. I don't want to get the incision infected. That would be disgusting!
If I can't run, I start to fall apart. I get lethargic, my appetite grows erratic, my mood dives, and I start to feel sad for no reason. It's embarrassing.
Today I started my high doses again. I'm doing a 4-6, four days of high doses twice a day and then six days off. On the dosing days, I can only eat between 11:00 am-ish to 4:00 pm-ish. No smoothies, the antioxidants clean out the free radicals that need to carry the artemisinin into the cancer cells. My fare during dosing days is quite simple. That's why I need to run, I need to feel energized. Green smoothies and running are what keep my blood flowing and happy.
Oh well. This will not last forever. I am lucky to have this opportunity to conquer my brain cancer. Most who have come before me have not been so fortunate. That's what I have to keep remembering. I'm a lucky one.
