July

I can't believe we're done with June. These past couple of months have been flying by. I'm still a little amazed that I've gone through such a traumatic experience. Life seems to be getting back to normal, little by little.

This past weekend we had Susea and Gene over from the island. It was wonderful to spend time with them, it's always so hectic when I make it to the island so it was nice to just relax and visit without any other engaments. It's nice to hear from Susea & Gene that I sound almost perfectly normal. I wish I would feel perfectly normal. I guess I'm harder on myself because I know the thoughts in my head, and I instantly notice the grammatical errors. I'm getting better and better about my language, it only gets tricky when I'm exhausted, but who DOESN'T sound ridiculous when they're tired.

July. Wow. On to July. I have some big things coming up soon. In a couple of weeks I have physically therapy and speech therapy at the UW (follow up appointments). At the end of July/beginning of Aug I have my three month MRI and follow up surgical visit. Pretty soon I'll have the information regarding the growth of my tumor cells. From there the doctors decide if I need further treatment, or if things are good I'll just schedule the next MRI in six months. Big things right now. It's weird. I understand what's coming, but I'm so exhausted I don't even know if I can grasp it. Maybe I just need another nap.

Happiness Factors

I sat in 80 degree weather, in a parked car for over an hour today. I was staring at the gym, but I just couldn't bring myself to go in. I've been having so many good days, I'm not sure what happened. My mood just changed, and I had a sobbing fit. It wasn't anything in general that caused the shift, and I couldn't pinpoint the exact emotions swirling around my head. From time to time I still get depressed, even though I'm progressing so well. It's confusing. I've cried less from this brain tumor than I have over a bad breakup.

I never did make it into the gym. I sweat enough in the car that I feel like I burnt a decent amount of calories, I was certainly dehydrated that's for sure. Luckily Danny is extremely patient with me. When I got home he coaxed me to take a walk. I'm not exactly feeling great, but on a scale of 1 to 10 that started as a -1 my happiness factor rose to 3. If Danny wasn't here I would probably be wallowing in bed. Not a pretty thought.

Here's Danny making me take a walk tonight....