RATS! Scar Tissue vs Tumor

Horrible news. Yesterday morning I received a phone call from UCLA. To start at the beginning, the MRI report I've read was from UW, and I've been waiting for UCLA's report. Flash back to yesterday, I received a call from UCLA's oncology department wanting me to come in for an appointment on August 12th. And the woman didn't know why. she had zero information. I was so confused, and panicked. Usually I deal directly with Dr L's office, but this time it was the chemotherapy sector. YIKES. My heart dropped. I asked if it was about my MRI results and the kind woman had no idea. So I asked for someone to call me with more information. Then Dan emailed Dr L, and I called her office. The waiting period was incredibly painful.

A while later, we received a response from Dr L, and a phone call (within moments of each other), explaining everything. Apparently, there is an area on my MRI of hyper intense T2 signal that has slowing been growing. The doctors can't be sure if it is scar tissue or tumor tissue, so they want me to fly down to LA and get a dopa pet scan along with a regular MRI. If it's tumor they want me to start some sort of chemotherapy. 

After talking with both doctors, we all agreed that this is not an urgent matter as I'm not presenting with symptoms. So, Dan and I decided to wait and schedule both scans in October at my regularly designated time for scans. If I have any new symptoms I am supposed to immediately schedule the scans and fly down to LA. 

I'm very saddened, and feel nauseous about the turn of events, however I'm relieved and grateful that UCLA is so thorough and can provide better care than any hospital in my area. There's only a few hospitals in the country that do the dopa pet, and I'm reminded of the fact that it's paramount to go to the best, to travel for doctors, to not stay stuck because it's convenient to use the neighborhood or regional hospital. Your life literally depends on it. Doctors are not equal. Hospitals are not equal. Treatments are not equal. 

Although I felt scared by the news from UCLA, and yet relieved that it isn't definite tumor growth, Dan and I made a last minute decision to join a indoor bocce ball birthday, and I'm so glad we did! There's nothing better to put a smile on our faces than friends, and laughter! It was fantastic! Laura's probably going to kill me for posting this pic, but I'll deal with her sassy wrath later. :) These girls are so fun, and kind, and real. I just feel like life is constantly extraordinary. I don't know why I got so lucky, but I'm going to soak up every minute.

Super Slice

Created a new take on a Waldorf salad tonight, keto style, and although I didn't serve fish, I was still able to do some filleting. Ouch. Thank you Dr. Dan. Don't worry, there is a bandage under there.

 

We are still unpacking which is taking the majority of our time. Next to that we have been fixing random things on my car so that we can put it up for sale. We are all about downsizing, and simplifying. Although I would love to drive again, the soonest would be early September (stupid seizure). I've been keeping little Rosemary, my 2000 explorer because she's paid for, and of course, I love her. However, we really only need one car. And if I do start driving there's an amazing service called Car 2 Go, so I can always find a way to do what I need. If I wouldn't have had the seizure in March, it's possible I may have started trying a few little trips on side streets. I'm apprehensive about driving and that's why I haven't pushed it these past few years, but with the restricted ketogenic diet (started at the end of March - after the seizure), I feel like a whole new person. My body feels better, my mind is clearer, I even have more energy. Granted, I'm still not interested in highway or interstate driving, but slow sweet little old lady driving for an errand or two sounds pretty dang appealing.

I'm still absorbing the MRI results. Sometimes I realize I'm even holding my breath. I quickly inhale, then tip my head back, closing my eyes, and I say a little thank you for this amazing gift. The glorious gift of life that never ceases to amaze me. And it's mine. This is my life! Wow. I am alive and breathing and I love and I receive love. What a beautiful thing. To breathe fresh air, and laugh, and dance, and talk to my bro on the phone, or barely escape peeing my pants from Dan's tickles. To make tea in the morning and think of Dan's mom because she bought me a beautiful turquoise tea kettle, or the multitudes of phone calls to my parents each day just to share a stupid story about a plant, or to check in. (The fact that they still answer my calls is a miracle.) The contagious laughter from quips of my friends, with hilarious YouTube videos, their hugs, their kindness. The support I've received from blog readers - I don't know how you do it, no one has ever said anything mean (and truthfully, if you did, I don't remember...), and I know I write some ridiculous things. I just feel grateful. I know I'm cheesy, but I can't help it. 

Having come from deep fear when we have watched Hermie grow, I must say that I am eternally, exceptionally, unimaginably thrilled and humbled by the ability to enjoy and live this extraordinary life.