Ahead of Ourselves

Yesterday, my adorable little niece and I created our morning green drink. We added a banana, and then stuffed the blender with handfuls of kale. Then, poured some water in the base and Isla flipped the switch. We watched the drink swirl, and as it chopped, I pulled orange flavored fish oil out of the fridge. I love young children because they don't have any preconceived notions. She never said, "Gross! Fish oil?" like an older child might have. I unscrewed the top, sniffed it, and said, "Yummy! Smells like fresh oranges." I passed the glass over to Isla, and she agreed. When the drink was finished blending, we poured it into a large pint glass, adding two tablespoons of the fish oil. We stirred it together and tried a taste. Isla loved it, so I poured a glass just for her. If you look closely in the photo above, you can see the green goo on the sides of her mouth.

It's always fun hanging out with Isla. She's adorable, and hilarious, always willing to try new things. I'm incredibly disappointed that Hermie grew. The day before the MRI, Danny looked at me, smiling, and asked, "If the MRI is good, how many good MRIs will it take before we can make a baby?" Obviously, we were getting ahead of ourselves. That's hard to swallow.

Also, I should clarify from the previous post that my doctor does not agree that the tumor areas are less dense - that is just our opinion.

Chubby Hermie

Other than the growth of Hermie, the meeting went relatively well. The oncologist listened to our protocol, but as he was nodding, we realized that our protocol doesn't matter. I could have inserted the name of any treatment and he wouldn't have cared. He had already looked at my scans and determined that little Herman had grown. He didn't care about the three other areas which had visibly shrunk. We are incredibly bummed that Herm grew, but the tumor cells are less densely populated, and we're looking into two new institutions for further review. We're also going to contact the researcher who tackles artemisinin to see if he will comment on the scans. We're hoping that he will expand on the typical growth patterns of tumors treated with artemisinin. In reviewing the subject, my family and I recall the possibility of the tumor expanding before it gets smaller. Here's a couple of photos for your review. 

Oct 2011 - Jan 2012 - April 2012

After the MRI, but before the meeting with my oncologist, I went to the records department and had a tech burn a disk of my MRI. We brought all of my previous disks from all of my other MRI's and we reviewed them on my father's laptop so that we wouldn't be blindsided during the appointment. It also makes it easier to figure out any questions we might have. The doctor has no idea that we did that. He never knew that we had already reviewed the scan. I don't think it matters though - he doesn't have to know EVERYTHING.

April 2011 - Oct 2011 - Jan 2012 - April 2012

After the appointment, we mailed off a copy of the scan to our friends who have already beat their cancer, then we headed to my parent's hotel. We pulled up all of the scans, and analyzed to our heart's content. We looked at them with the lights on, with the lights off, from a side angle, from above and below. We zoomed in and we zoomed out. It's important to really go through this stuff with a fine toothed comb. Our oncologist is very busy, he doesn't have the time (only 30 minutes) to review everything, so recently we started conducting our own reviews at home.

My oncologist is not impressed with my protocol, he feels that I still need to start doing radiation. He said that the growth was minimal, but it is still growth. He doesn't care that in the past six months there has been barely any growth, he's concerned about the past year of scans. I understand what he says, but at the same time, all we care about is the past six months - that's the time frame of the artemisinin. I told my oncologist that I'm not ready to give up, that I'm going to do three more months of artemisinin.

Today was exhausting and I need to go relax. We just got home and I need to put my feet up. It's a bummer that Hermie grew, but at least his friends are shrinking. All in all, at least Herms isn't growing exponentially. It could be a lot worse, and I'm grateful. I'm sad that he grew, but I know that this isn't over!