That's Pretty Tacky

First of all, feeling guilty, I completed all of my assigned homework. Surprisingly, it really wasn't bad, and I might even say that it was kind of fun. I'm sick like that.

On to a pretty crazy story. I heard back from an email today from the Wenatchee Brain Tumor Support Group. I was hoping to find some comrades, or like they said, a support group, but within the first sentence I realized I was sorely mistaken. It turns out that the support group was consisting of three members, of which two have passed away in the past two months. The surviving member asked me to head up the support group and contact local doctors from the area that might be interested in helping facilitate the group. I feel bad, but I don't feel up to putting another a ball in my rotation. I guess she needs help, but unfortunately I went to the support group because I was needing help myself. Ordinarily, I would gladly jump at the chance to help someone solve a problem, or devote my time but I'm just trying to function. Maybe in a year I can help spearhead the support group, or at least help out. It's hard to say "no" both myself, and to someone else, but it's what I have to do. I hope that the final member is doing alright. 66% of their group is quite a hit. I can only imagine how hard that must be for her. These two members were people. They had family, and friends. I guess this isn't a pretty crazy story, it's just a sad story. Not the ending anyone wants.

The worst part is that I was originally trying to find the humor about this. I told Danny and my mom that I tried to contact the Wenatchee Brain Tumor Support Group and that two of the three members passed away in the last two months and I said, "Not a very good selling point." That's pretty tacky. I guess when we deal with the unknown (like the future of my brain tumor) we try to lighten the mood, or at least I do. But it was still pretty tacky.

Progress is Found in Odd Places

I have a confession to make. I've been procrastinating about my homework and helpful tasks. Although, I'm counting some of my helpful tasks like right now as Danny is watching the season finally of Lost and I'm working on my blog. I figure that this is great practice trying to focus on an activity while there are distractions going on around me. See, I'm pretty good at reasoning to myself that I'm actually doing productive things!

I don't think I ever said the results of my testing from my speech therapist in Wenatchee. The most glaring score was for my attention span. On a median score of 100 I had a 42. Ouch. This is why I lose focus, and can't complete tasks. Even a ticking clock can confuse me, and lose my train of thought. It is such a joke because before my surgery I have always been juggling several things at time.

It is also why I am really horrible about emailing, and facebook and I'm really sorry about that! Sorry guys. And, while we're at it, I also apologize that I don't much use the phone. I've called my grandma once and I've talked to Kaal every several days but that's pretty much it. It is insanely hard to talk over the phone. I do pretty well when I do face-to-face communication, but it really limits things between my out of town friends. I hope every knows that I love you guys! It won't always be like this!

It's weird, writing the blog is so helpful for me to work on my vocabulary and organizing my thoughts, but it's almost like cheating because my blog writing is a lot better than my verbal communicating. In fact, I think my blog is vastly better than my off the cuff verbal communication. It's a pretty wild sensation or maybe I mean realization when can't get my words out. Maybe I don't know what word I want. I have that happen a lot.

Ok. Enough trying to work on distractions (Lost) and blogging. I feel good about the results! About a week ago I wouldn't have been able to do my blog with the TV or any distractions. Progress is found in odd places!