I find myself wondering around the house, going back and forth to the gym, and trying to entertain myself in the garden. I'm nervous, but trying to fight it. I can't even spend much time on the computer because I can't sit still. Nerves.
I guess this is how it's going to be. Every three months I'll go through the same cycle. Elation from a great MRI, feeling my freedom, working out and trying to maintain my health, then as the next MRI begins to loom over me, I'll start into a descent of nerves, battling all the while trying to stay sane. It could be worse, I could have a bad MRI. I feel I have a 50% chance of having a good MRI. I'm not going to be overly optimistic, or pessimistic. I feel like this tumor is like the ocean, you have to give it respect. It has a power of its own.