Morning. I've been taking a much needed technology break. In fact, I even disabled my Facebook (for good - it was not a temporary decision). I feel like I have a deep need to simplify my life. Social media has never, really, made me feel better. It makes me feel voyeuristic, and often awkward. It's weird how we put the most mundane things out there, thinking it's somehow important. But my truth is that it ends up making me feel like I've wasted a small window of my life while the computer sucks out pieces of me. Pretty dramatic, I know, but whatever. I'm sure it's humorous for me to even say these things, since I'm a prime example of posting overly personal anecdotes on the blog. I have no retort for that. All I know is that I am feeling like nesting, crafting, cleaning, reading, and flying below the radar. I'd like to continue the blog, and by removing different avenues of energy diversions, it will syphon my efforts, simplifying my life. Now, I have to say that a lot of my friends do all the Facebooking, Instagraming, Tweeting, etc., and they love it. It just isn't for me. It gives me anxiety. It's weird, I would have thought, since I'm such a talker, that social media would be a fun outlet for me, but I've learned that it just isn't the case. Clearly, we're all different.
Tomorrow night my parents arrive from another trip to procure the venom. I have also begun taking dichloroacetate (DCA). I'm not taking heavy doses, starting very small at 4 mg/kg body weight. Low grade tumors aren't very glycolic, but I figure, even if it's only 10% effective, it can still help me for the times I don't eat properly. If you're not familiar with DCA, I recommend doing a search for University of Alberta and Dr Evengelos Michelakis. I haven't been eating healthily these days, probably for weeks. In fact, I ate pizza last night. Delicious. I have no self control these days. I just need to be human sometimes, to not have to over analyze, not have to measure, and time, and schedule all of my pills, and venom applications. It's nice to be able to just live. People probably can't quite absorb my usual routine, it's nuts. To live like that is exhausting. Just as a refresher, this is what I'm supposed to be doing each day.....
At least my sweet Jess Abu came last weekend. We had a glorious run around Lake Union in the 22 degree sunshine. She was never a runner before, but in the past year or so she caught the bug. Running is one of my favorite things, probably tied with reading, so to be able to run with a friend is truly the most fun I could have. My sweet buddy is living apart from her husband, who is still residing in Abu Dhabi, as she is completing her nursing degree at John Hopkins in Maryland. Jess and I met back in Texas, she also went to TCU. Jess, having walked through this brain tumor journey with me (you'll remember she shaved her head with me when I was first diagnosed), decided to become a nurse after finding her passion to help others, with me; I was her first patient! Humbling to think that my diagnosis changed her career. It's definitely amazing, and it inspires me. She inspires me. It makes me think big, to remember that life is what you make of it. To keep dreaming. To continue to strive toward your goals. To not be afraid of a change in direction.
Here's a picture of us in front of our little home, just before our seven mile run. It was a spectacular day. Days like that are what I live for.