Thursday, February 24, 2011

Life Elongating Choices

Alright. As you may notice from my lack of posts, I'm working out some things. Like my perspective about this tumor. I've spent the past several days back on the restricted Ketogenic diet which study after study have proven to slow the growth of astrocytomas.

I've basically been hiding away, working my usual schedule then heading home with my cell phone off and limited internet. Usually I'm fine, but recently I'm feeling pretty vulnerable. I'm working on it though. I need to put this diagnosis in its place, but I can't seem to shelve it. It just seems to hover around in my mind bouncing between what I should do, what I need to do, what I haven't done to conquer this.

I guess I'm a little bit of a worrier. I used to call myself a problem solver, but lately I'm just a worrier. I don't feel like I'm solving anything. I think, maybe in time, I'll learn enough to feel like I'm doing things the right way. That I'm making the best choices. 

I guess I feel the pull of this tumor. According to research, I don't have unlimited time to make good choices. It's all on me. It's right now. That's a lot of pressure.


  1. Jessie, this probably isn't what you want to hear but being a mother makes me feel must lighten up on yourself!!!.....take the pressure off yourself. It's not all on you. What ever you want to call it.....higher power, God, fate, the Universe conspiring, forces unknown.....there is more to this than than you or any one thing. Love to you always, Jennifer

  2. Hey, Jess. I think Jennifer is right on with her comments. Find what it is you love, and do it. Obviously, you got that right with Danny! Life is so mysterious, and if we can learn to embrace the mystery, it becomes easier. Hope that makes some kind of sense. Personally, I'm going for quality of life, not as concerned about quantity, but then, I've lived longer.

    Best, best regards and love to you,
    Dee Dee


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