Jan 10, 2014

Resolute This...or That

You know what I love about this time of year? The obsession with getting healthy. It's all over the media right now, and it's really fun to learn the tricks (or scoff at the laughable ones). I wish we saw on TV, year-round, nothing but healthy stories; it's very inspirational. I'm not one for new year resolutions, I mean come on, I can't even seem to do a post each Friday, that lasted about a week.

Laying in bed last night, I thought to myself, smiling, "Life is hilarious, and I am a goober." It all started in the morning with me trying to copy the TV with some floor exercises using a broom handle. It was absurd; I was ridiculous. I had so much fun, though, and my butt hurts like crazy. So that's a great sign. I don't know if you've heard this (or noticed it yourself), but our bodies are not perfectly symmetrical. Some, less so than others. I remember in college, for the first time, I looked in the mirror over my shoulder while I was wearing a bathing suit. I had wanted to see what my butt looked like (big mistake). To my horror, I realized that I had a saddlebag under my left butt cheek, but my right side did not. Major disappointment. That led me to analyze my whole body, and sure enough, my left breast (gross, I know, but necessary for the argument) is, to the naked eye, bigger, and my left foot is a half shoe size bigger. Happily, my hands seem to be the same size, along with my eyeballs and ears (huge relief). Anyway, how did I even get on this tangent? Maybe the floor exercises? Must have been. Although I love to run, I've never been into isometrics, or floor routines. They bore me. But, in the spirit of diversion, I've decided to start targeting my lone saddlebag. I'm eating healthy, and I feel great. Since I don't really want to focus too much on the actual tumor (other than the current treatments, and supplements I'm already doing), I figure I'll focus my energy on getting into the best shape of my life.

Some experts say that diet is 80% of health, and, to my chagrin, I agree. When I'm eating clean I've noticed that I can not keep fat on my body, it completely melts away - even without a smidgen of exercise. Both Dan and I have been floored by how simple it is. Even crazier is that I eat a lot of fatty foods. I eat avocado every day, a tablespoon of fish oil, handfuls of nuts, and saute all of our meats in copious amounts of coconut oil. I don't have to eat like a bunny to be healthy, which has been such a change from life before diagnosis. Once you know how to truly eat clean, the only hard part is motivation, and if you have a partner in crime, or just take it one day at a time, almost like an addiction problem, you realize it's actually doable.

If you've caught past blog posts, you'll know that I've had a real yo-yo of weight. In early high school I remember weighing 161 (too many bean and cheese burritos), finishing at around 148 my senior year. Then, in college I weighed around 138 (thanks to lots of coffee, cigarettes, and obsessively counting calories). In 2006 I hit my heaviest point at 181 (emotional eating...baaaad news). I now weigh 138. I may fluctuate a little on a week-to-week basis, but ever since I removed junk and processed foods, even healthy processed stuff like Dave's bread, grains, legumes, and such, my life completely changed - my skin is better, my energy is better (relatively speaking), and my mood is better. Now, as an aside, I have to say that I will have a week or two even, from time to time, when I eat lots of crap (think holidays), but as a good little lamb I always find my way back to the herd of the healthy. I had to throw that out there so that you know that I'm human, and normal, not a robot with superhuman willpower.

There are all kinds of diets being toted right now since the #1 NY resolution is to get healthy or lose weight. There are so many ways to get healthy, thousands of diets, of lifestyles, and I respect anyone who is trying to better themself. I don't even really care how they do it. I won't judge. I just know what works for me. It's a no fail, huge result, lifestyle. Even if you cut out all the crap for one day a week and only eat veggies, lean meats, nuts, fruits, healthy fats, spices, etc., your body will thank you.

All this sass in me today is from, literally, the best smoothie I have ever eaten in my life. And I am telling you I have made some deee-sgusting concoctions. I promise you I had one hell of a learning curve (poor Danny), so I don't feel that bad about tooting my own bike bell when I do something right.

Here some of the exciting things about this drink: it's low glycemic, high in fiber, has all 18 essential amino acids, increases HDL cholesterol (the good one that regulates triglycerides), it's loaded with glutathione (the most powerful antioxidant), filled with caroteniods (helps eyes & reproductive health), has omega-3 fats (helps the body absorb the nutrients & vitamins), lowers inflammation (due to the ginger root, turmeric & lemon), and so much more! In fact, it's such a badass smoothie that I can't even begin to list all the amazingness.

Ingredients
Turmeric Root
Finished Product. Get your spoon, it's thick.

Ingredients:
2 leaves of kale (destemmed)
1/2 avocado 
5 sprigs of flat leafed parsley
1 lemon, juiced
1 inch ginger root
1/2 inch turmeric root
8 oz coconut water (or you can do regular filtered water if you'd prefer) - add extra for thinning if preferred

If you click on the highlighted ingredients, you can read about the unique vitamins and nutrients of each one.

As for diets, and foods, all I know for sure is that if there are ingredients in our foods that we don't understand, or recognize, or cannot pronounce, our bodies don't want them. Chalk it up to one more of my simple rules about life. The more I think about things, the more simple life turns out to be. I hope that doesn't sound know-it -all-y, because it definitely isn't how I mean it. I guess I just end up being surprised sometimes by how much more simple life can be when I honestly analyze things. When I don't lie to myself. Does that make sense? Like the old adage says, calories in calories out. Sure that makes sense, right?, and it seems kind of awesome (here comes two Oreos for breakfast). It basically implies that I can eat whatever I want as long as I burn it off. The problem is that it just isn't that simple. Calories are not equal, even though that's how I used to view food. When I stopped lying to myself and started excepting the basic fact that whole foods react different in our bodies than synthetic, processed foods, my whole life, and body changed. Now, this is just an observation within my own life, and I'm not trying to soapbox you, I just figured I share my experience in honor of all the health stories being tossed out there. So however you do it, whatever decision you make, good luck and cheers to you in getting healthier!

Jan 7, 2014

Wishful Thinking

I haven't had the energy to write an in depth post for awhile. I'm not sure if it's the fact that I've been bone tired from the holidays and stress of travel with the added craziness of my Grandma's accident, or perhaps it's correlated with the treatments I'm doing. Unfortunately, I've been noticing an increasing amount of weakness on my right side, along with increased numbness, also more vertigo and dizziness. And I don't mean a little bit. I like to think that it's the effect of my pills, serums, and such, attacking those pesty lingering tumor cells. We will know for sure in the beginning of February. We can only schedule an MRI 30 days in advance due to insurance policy. We're planning for February 8th, a Saturday. We've gotten in the habit of doing the scans on the weekend so that Dan doesn't have to take any time off. This MRI will also be the first one with my new health insurance. I have no idea how much of it will be covered, which of course is another new cause of stress. Typically, my MRI bill is around $5500 (each). There's nothing I can do about it, though, so I have to get the scan and if it isn't covered I'll just quote Steve Carell.


Am I scared with the changes in my body? Sure. You bet. But what can I do? All I can do in times like these is keep chugging along, take things one step at a time. Live day by day. My life might be unique to the general population, but it's not unique in the cancer world, and certainly not the brain tumor world. Sometimes that fact alone gives me inspiration. There are so many fighters out there, and even with the fear of another tumor, I know that I want to enjoy my life, each moment. My new favorite thing has been cooking. It's always healthy foods, brain tumor fighting stuff, lots of veggies, lean meats, and lots of healthy fats (think avocados). There's something about exercising, too. It brings me closest to my version of heaven, engulfing me in an elated bubble. Takes me to a world where I can conquer anything, least of all a silly brain tumor. Exercise equates life for me. Our bodies are meant to move, to stretch, to sweat.

My one wish is that I wasn't so tired all the time. My biggest regret in life is the fact that I don't have enough energy. I struggle, deeply, with daily tasks. Even without pushing myself I get exhausted by the most minimal activities. Maybe that's why I adore exercise. It makes me feel alive, and the physical exertion followed by the soreness makes sense. It's one thing that I can count on. It's logical, when so much of my life doesn't seem to add up. I don't know why people get the battles they do. I don't know why some have harder challenges. I don't know the meaning of life. I don't know my purpose. I don't know why some tumors grow and others don't. I don't know much, in fact. I know that I am beloved by Dan, and I deeply love him in return. I know that I have several close friends who truly understand, to their best ability, what I'm going through and they are unimaginably gracious to me. I know that I laugh every day. I know that I love every day. Sometimes life can seem so complicated, but when you break it down, it turns out, it's actually pretty simple.