A Surprise Package

The other day a surprise package arrived. It contained a gorgeous, soft, hand knitted scarf. There was sweet card, and no signature. No return address.

It was from a reader of my blog, whose name I don't know, whom I've never met.

Constantly, especially in my car as I listen to music, I think about how lucky I am. This tumor has been a lucky charm. I feel like my life is absolutely amazing. A hero by my side who constantly loves me through amazing changes, an unbelievable family who supports me in every single way, friends who always keep me laughing and hugging me when I need to cry, and the support from people whom I've never met, but love me as if we'd been friends for an eternity. I've been introduced to a whole new world because of this little nugget. I have the opportunity to share my life, and for the first true time, I feel like I actually have something important to talk about. This story, of my journey, is raw and honest. I'm sure I sometimes sound foolish, or ridiculous, but that's a part of who I am.

I'm so insanely grateful for all of the support. I have the best group of people cheering me on, keeping space for me in their heart. I couldn't ask for anything more.

I don't really have a solid opinion about lives being predestined. I don't exactly believe that everything happens for a reason. I do, however, believe that this tumor has brought the best out of me. This is a challenge, and I'm grateful to have the chance to share it with all of you.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, and a very, very special thank you to the unbelievably talented maker of the scarf. I'm humbled by the fact that you took the time to make a scarf just for me, "to keep me warm in those cold Wenatchee winters." I can't tell a lie, it made me cry with happy tears. I'm so truly grateful for all of your love and kindness. Thank you.

Photo of the scarf coming soon! :)

Eagle Eyes

I have a confession to make...I cheated on my ketocal. Some friends threw Danny and I a small engagement party and there was so much delicious food and wine. I looked at Danny with big doe eyes and asked him if one night would kill me. Quite the manipulator don't you think!? The girls hosting the party had all kinds of foods that I could eat, so I didn't cheat THAT much, but I did down a couple of cupcakes and helped myself to a few glasses of wine. I felt guilty at first, with the initial bite, but in the morning I felt relieved. Who was I kidding that sugar would never again cross through my lips.

As I've mentioned before, I've never been great at doing things 100%. The stress of the diet and amount of restriction was overwhelming. I've since decided to keep with the diet normally, but if there's a special occasion I can indulge. I know it's my health we're talking about, but I'm also wanting to live my life.

On a side note, I just returned from the eye doctor. During my last speech therapy session, Julie noticed that I get closer and closer to the paper as I read, and she was concerned about my eye sight. When we were younger, Kaal and I would hunt for frogs, calling me, "Eagle Eyes." He thought that I had some sort of super human eye sight, but later we found out that Kaal badly needed glasses.

I have always wanted glasses - weird, I know. They're just so sophisticated.  I'm convinced that it's impossible to look unintelligent if you wear glasses. All of my wishing has fallen on deaf ears though. My eye sight is still perfectly fine. The eye doctor said that when kids are learning to read they often subconsciously get closer and closer to the page. Good to know! For the first time, as I left the eye doctor I was relieved instead of being disappointed. I recently don't have insurance for eye care, and I just avoided the extra expense of glasses and contacts. Practical Jess kicked in...I now can rest easy with one less doctor's appointment. Woo hoo!