5.11.2013

Ignorance Did Not Cause Bliss

Good Morning! A couple of things I've been meaning to mention...

1. I will not be attending the San Juan Half Marathon. It has been recommended that I abstain by my doctor, due to the stress on my body that I'm already enduring from the shots. The research also supports me hanging on the sidelines, strenuous exercise causes spikes in blood glucose which feeds tumors. Instead, I've been walking 4-5 days a week, five miles each time. I grab Emma and check out various streets in my neighborhood, circle the lake, pick up groceries and such. I thought I would really miss running, and at first I very much did, however, I've gotten over it. Instead of yearning to run, I think about all of the stories my mother has told me about her walking as a young girl. The main similarity between walking and running, for me, is that with both exercises I'm able to clear my mind, analyze life, enjoy fresh air, look at the plants, the birds, the squirrels, and I become re-grounded (if that's a word?!). I watch people walk, run, drive, speed by on bikes. I feel alive. Since I don't drive, if I don't get out for a walk, I will just be at home. I'll live hidden. I don't go to work, in fact, I don't do much. So, I force myself out on walks. And each time that I do, I feel much, much better.

2. About that cell phone article. I'm not trying to scare anyone, and I'm not trying to convince you. I don't think that you're going to get a brain tumor if you use your cell phone. Just as some people can smoke their whole lives and never get lung cancer or emphysema, others will not die from their cell phones. However, for other people, cigarettes will kill them. And, for others, cell phones might be their demise. Every person's body is different, and I don't think that cancer works in a way that is singular. I believe that cancer is a perfect storm, a combination of environmental factors (excessiveness of cell phone use, cigarettes, pesticides, sun, food additives, alcohol, medications, prescription meds - just think about the warnings on the commercials, and many other harmful things), maybe some genetics, and perhaps a bit of bad luck. That list just mentioned, is not my personal list, but examples. I'm not trying to freak anyone out, just speaking my opinion. You don't have to agree with me, and maybe I'm wrong. Maybe my tumor is genetic, that there's nothing I did wrong, and because each brain tumor is unique I don't think that all brain tumors are caused by radiation/cell phones. I speak about my fears of cell phone radiation because I don't want anyone else to go through what I'm going through. I wouldn't wish this life on a serial killer. Maybe that sounds drastic, but I wouldn't. Even the most evil people in the world don't deserve cancer. I guess, no one does. I just feel like I was foolish, ignoring warnings about cell phones. I'm telling you I was on my cell phone for 5+ hours most nights for years. I wish I wouldn't have poo-pooed my inner voice. She told me my head was hot, and sweating from my cell use. She told me that it couldn't be good for me. I ignored her. I'm sure moderate use of cell phones isn't a big deal, but I was not moderate. I blame myself for what has happened to my body. I can't change what has happened, and I'm working on forgiving myself, but it's a work in progress. My ignorance has massively altered my future, my entire life.

Anyway, enough about that. Below is a picture that Danny took while we were kayaking on Lake Union yesterday. Seattle has been sunny and hot for over a week - heaven!

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