Ok. I'm off my pity pot. I feel loads better, I just needed to put this stuff in perspective! Every time I have a massive change, I need to digest it, and put it in its' rightful place.
So what if I can't drive. I don't need to drive everywhere anyway. The lack of driving gives me an excuse to stay home and take care of little things. I usually wear a life jacket in the river anyway. So what if I need a bath companion, at least it'll be fun to visit with my mom or whomever.
I'm alive, I'm not in the hospital, I'm not broken from a horrible car accident. I don't need to live in fear, I'm just going to take things one step at a time both proverbially and literally. Just like after the brain surgeries, I'll start with walking slow, then walk longer, and when I feel ready I'll start slowly running again, and before I know it I'll be finishing up my runs with sprints. I have no reason to fear exercise. There is no time to live in fear, although there's always room to be cautious.
I wrote a little note on the whiteboard magnetized to my fridge. It's a place where Danny and I always used to leave little love notes. It says, "I will not live in fear." So simple, but not so simple that it doesn't need to be repeated.
Sometimes I find that all I need is a little pep talk and some encouragement from friends, so thanks everyone. I'm still having flashbacks, but I take a deep breath, push the scary thoughts out of my mind, and change my focus. I will not give up.
