Grit: The Best Four Letter Word

A girlfriend just introduced me to the concept of "grit". I knew the word well, although in my family it's termed sticktoitiveness, what I didn't know is that a curious woman is researching it. Angela Lee Duckworth has evolved into a scientist (she was corporate, then became a teacher, then went back to school to become a psychologist), and her work focuses on determining what is "grit". She did an amazing Ted Talk, sharing what she had learned, and at that time she didn't know if grit could be taught. Here's the cool part, one day, probably not too long after her Talk aired, Coach Carroll happened to turn on the tv to the Ted Talks, and listened to Angela. The subject so moved him, especially the part where she wasn't sure how to transfer or teach grit, that he immediately got in contact with her.

It was fateful that Coach caught Angela's Ted Talk (of all the days to turn on a Ted Talk, and for all the TT's out there, it had to be this one), but it was grit, that drove him to reach out. See, Coach has been living a gritty life, full of purpose, and drive. With strength, and humility, and he's been teaching it. 

So tonight, my girlfriend invited us to attend the Town Hall Meeting at Seattle University to listen to Angela and Coach talk about what it means to have grit, how you can foster it in yourselves, how we can nurture it in our children, and in those around us. And good God it was powerful. And it was just what I needed. 

You see, even though I'm not convinced I'm dealing with a recurrence, I still have cried quite a bit about this turn of events. At first, I thought to myself, I can't possibly handle a fourth brain surgery. Not all that pain again, not with the danger of my complications, the blood clot and dura mater hardening, the risk of dying. What if I lose my language or mobility like I did? The months of speech and physical therapy, my God, I can't go through that a second time, I don't have the energy. As those fears swooped in, I realized, I'm not really scared of a theoretical surgery, I'm bawling because of the freaking trauma I've endured. It was residual emotional pain that rides the waves of those memories. It's powerful, and traumatic. 

Listening to that Town Hall Meeting was moving. It was catalytic. It was comforting to hear that you can't lose grit, you may not always be in touch with it, but you can't lose it. And if you're gritty, that doesn't mean you don't need encouragement, or guidance, or best of all, coaching. Having grit doesn't mean you're infallible, that you have everything figured out, instead it means that when you get bumped, you don't let it deter you. That you continuously rise up to the challenges placed in your path. 

What I love about grit, is this concept that we can all be great. We can be gritty with our jobs, with our dreams and our daily lives, and for me it's especially true for cancer. It's about being passionate, about educating yourself, learning from your mistakes and evolving. It's connecting and absolutely never giving up - even when you're beaten, and exhausted, sad or scared. 

I like to think I have grit, but lately I had lost touch with Her. I learned tonight that even if you feel lost, grit can not escape you. That we all need coaching, support, and unconditional love, in order to truly be our greatest selves.

I think it's impossible to be your best self without learning from others. I have learned grit from all of you. You've helped support me in all ways, and that is why I am still here, why I've been successful thus far. It's easier to get back up when you have a hundred people reaching their hands down to you.

Today, as I drove to the gym, I started sobbing. I sat in my car for a few minutes, pulled myself together, then went in and worked out. Then I walked back to my car and before my door was even shut, I started sobbing again. I was embassed that it even happened, frustrated that I was still this emotional about everything. Then, tonight, while I was listening to Coach, and Angela, I realized that grit is in the every day. Grit is determination, and heart, along with effort, and perseverance. And, today, although sad, I refused to be defeated. So I guess Grit never left me, I just needed to pay attention to her.

Angela Lee Duckworth has written the book Grit, and also has a fabulous Ted Talk that you can watch here:

Eat Wild. Eat Well.

Who do you want to be? What matters to you? What do you want to accomplish in life?

These are questions typically reserved for high school juniors or seniors, but they don't have to be. It's a question I routinely ask myself, and with time, the answer continuously evolves. But at the core, the basis of who I want to be, what matters, and what I want to accomplish is very concrete, but broad, and has no end date. I want to be a good steward of this awe inspiring Earth. I want to embody a kind heart that loves deeply. I want to learn about native plants mostly edible, but also non-edible. I want to learn about true nutrition from wild plants, how to help sustain Dan and I through gardening. How to harness local resources like grey water systems, or rain barrel water retention systems. To work toward independence. I dabble in making things from scratch, down to grinding the nuts into flour for baking. I recently made kefir from raw goat milk. I want to see how things work. I want to recognize that all foods are not created equal. That animals, especially the ones who feed us, are living creatures that deserve kind lives, not to be jailed in tight quarters with broken bones, an entire lifetime of misery. You can't nourish your body, and soul with another living creature's sorrow. You recognize what your body feels like when you're stressed, with all that cortisol surging through your body. Imagine an animal stressed, and depressed for its entire life, then you eat it. The product of the meat is inferior, it's only logical (not to mention the poor animal). There's science to back it up. We're making decisions, and there are consequences. That extra money spent on groceries is the best investment in your health, and your soul. 

This is part of who I am, and what I believe. I believe we're all connected, that the spinach in your smoothie when cut fresh has exponentially more antioxidants than the old stuff in the cooler section at Costco, that's wilted and already rotting. That we're being fleeced into thinking that cheaper products are equal in value. But what is the value of your health?

You don't have to think like me, or agree with what I am saying, but this is what I am recognizing as I evolve. That toxins sprayed on crops ARE a big deal. That we are damaging our water sources, and polluting our bodies, and it's such a shame. We are sold into this belief that we should work hard, climb the corporate ladder, cut costs and find the cheapest products, never miss work, go go go, and we're missing the bigger picture. That life is short. Our Earth is not impervious, or infinite. The toxins we spray on our soil lasts for eons. This is no small problem. In 1970 1 in 30 would be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime. Now it's 1 in 3. We are allowing big corporations to conduct science experiments, and we're the rats. And the government is not protecting us. 

If you die tomorrow will you have been the person you wanted to be? Did you accomplish what really mattered? Do you have children? If the above statistics scare you, consider what it will be in 40 years. Will it be a situation where your children will not only be diagnosed with cancer in their lifetime, but even worse battle three different types? It's a real concern. And it should terrify you. Our culture, and our values are askew, and if we don't stop and assess the true crisis, and make adjustments, the issues will just continue to accelerate. 

What can you do? Take a moment and listen to your soul, your inner voice, about what you value, and what you want to accomplish. Then remember that you don't have to take these issues on as life missions, or spend a lot of time trying to move mountains. You can simply speak with your pocketbook. Support causes you believe in. Pay the extra couple of bucks for better food. If that means you don't get the next pair of jeans, who cares. Pick you. Pick your family. As you walk to the register, or to the sweet woman at the farmer's market, with your organic produce, and grassfed chicken breast, you can smile and know that you're protecting yourself the best way you can. 

Maybe I'm lofty, and perhaps even annoying about this, but life is so beautiful, and what you put in, and what you value, gives back tenfold, be it negative or positive.

A brilliant book to get your wheels turning...