Sunday, June 18, 2017

Lymph Nodes in Full Attack

Remember that enlarged lymph node I mentioned last post? That anomaly? Well, we've been monitoring, and I've remained anxious, unsettled. Then, Monday, my GP found a second enlarged lymph node in my lower neck/chest area. Friday I was referred to an ENT (ear, neck, and throat) oncologist/surgeon, and she found a bunch more. A LOT more.

As the doc prodded, she discussed my medical history, we talked about my recent brain surgery, and how that might effect my lymph system. She also discussed lymphoma, and requested a CT scan to rule out a large tumor that could be hiding in my chest cavity.

So that's where we're at. I have a CT scan Tuesday. I'm not sure when I'll have results, but Dr said probably this week.

I'm still willing it to be some sort of wild reaction to the past three months. Maybe this fourth brain surgery kicked up some proverbial cancer dust and now I need my lymphatic system to clean out the pipes and take it away. I mean, that's what the lymph system does anyway, takes away the cellular debris, remove toxins, etc.

I'm confused, and scared, but hopeful, and curious. I'm a lot of things. 

If you have any extra, please send prayers/positive energy/anything. I'm trying not over analyze, trying not to panic, but dang if I'm not over-ripe dealing with medical stuff. I am overdue with my MRI as well, and UCLA is expecting me to start radiation and chemo this month (I haven't consented or said no). 

I'm so happy to be here, but as I've been recovering, something like this completely throws things out of balance, when I'm barely getting by sea legs anyway. 


Life is being lived minute by minute, experience by experience, breath by breath. I know that sounds melodramatic, but everything is so up in the air.


One thing is for sure, I'm not ready for ready for a full system shutdown.


Sometimes it's hard to find joy,
and that is why it's awesome to have friends with puppies. :)

15 comments:

  1. I will be praying extra hard for you, Jess. You are so dearly loved, you never cease to inspire us, and your smile can light up a room. It's not time for a full system shut down, you just keep your head up, keep your thoughts on that gratitude and keep finding puppies to visit! Your medical-stamina-battery might be (understandably) low, but you're doing a darn good job! Much love to ya, sista! <3

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  2. You got it girl. I'm rooting for you. Will send over positive brain mojo 😊 You are amazing...truly. Your ability to live and live and live (!!!) is such as source of joy for me. I love seeing someone beat this thing. I know others do too. Xoxox Annie

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  3. Sending prayers your way! Stay strong! ❤️

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  4. Sending you so much love and strength to tackle this new challenge like you have for all the others, with grace and power over your decisions. Anxiously awaiting your results. Xoxoxo

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  5. Oh Jess, we are willing it right with you. Every hurdle, and majorly serious hurdles at that, you've overcome. With flying colors, I might add. You got this. We think about you every single day Jess. All the positive energy and vibes, we are sending it your way. WHOOOOOOSHHHHH! We love you, we love you, we love you. xoxo S, J, O and X

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  6. Your FD family is behind you every step Coconuts. Mad love- Apple

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  7. Sending positivity and love your way! ❤️️

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  8. Keep your path forward with conviction and hope. No one has more than that. I am thinking of you and all of your victories. Strength of mind gives you courage. Friends give you hope.
    Your friend, Toni

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  9. So nice to hear an update. Not all possitive...but taking things step by step. You have my prayers...you are amazing.

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  10. Head up and do not give up! Whole Poland and prayers with You. We do hope is to be well.

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  11. I was checking on you every day here. Let's think positive, I'm sending you lots of positive energy. I know it's hard, but I also believe you can handle this 'cause you are tough fighter. I'm praying it's just body's reaction.

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  12. I was checking on you every day here. Let's think positive, I'm sending you lots of positive energy. I know it's hard, but I also believe you can handle this 'cause you are tough fighter. I'm praying it's just body's reaction.

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  13. Dear Jess! Sending a bazillion positive thoughts and mojo!
    You have every right to feel whatever it is you're feeling! You have a strong support of friends and family, especially your soulmate Dan! Sending hugs, Annie and Muggins

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  14. I will be praying for you and sending you light and love. I've been thinking about you daily and will continue to pray for your complete healing. You are such an inspiration to me. You truly know how to get down to the meaning of all of this and experience the joy of the present moment�� You are phenomenal Jess!

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