Monday, April 11, 2016

Four Days of Freedom

The MRI is on Saturday, and with it comes phantom headaches, throbbing in the tumor cavity, dizziness, ravenous cravings, nausea, sweaty nights jumping up from bed. The usual paranoia.

I've been hiding for months, pretending I never got diagnosed. Pretending I could do whatever I wanted, eat whatever I wanted, drink whatever I wanted, live the way I wanted. And now I have to face the reality of whatever is going on in my brain. 

Which is nothing. 


A video posted by Jessica Oldwyn (@happy_coconuts) on

.........I still don't want to do it.


  1. I don't want you to do it, either. But in case you still go ahead with it, I've got everything crossed with loads of positive thoughts and well wishes for results of a decidedly boring MRI with "normal findings"...

    Oh, and a big, fat digital hug attached. Love you tons,


    1. Criquette! I love big fat things, especially digital hugs. I love you so much!! Alas the things we have to do, like clean the toilet, and get MRIs. It's a tough life. :)

  2. I've been thinking about you fierce lately. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE and more LOVE to you, my dear.

    Hey! Have you tried thinking like a street thug? It's just like that meme: ...put on some gangster rap and handle it. Just bump that shit pre-MRI and dance until those nerves are calmer than Snoop Dogg after smoking that endo weed. Ok, was that too far?? I'm not even sorry bc I'm white girl gangsta right now. Wanna borrow my nine?? Those doctors be acting wack you can pop a cap! See!? You never know until you try!

    But, you know, if that doesn't work I'll be sending love, strength and prayers. As always. :)

    1. Annie, that is genius. I'm going to rock my old school gangsta rap for the next few days. I'll have to put my low key RayJ and Chris Brown on the back burner. Ha! What is endo weed anyway? Does it make you feel like you endo'd on your bicycle? I'm still laughing at your sweet ass comment. I might just keep reading it all night until I come up with my own sick rhymes.


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