It was hot by Seattle standards. People, birds, dogs and squirrels were playing, lounging, laughing, and soaking up as much vitamin D as we could manage. To feel the sun on my face was truly glorious! There are weeks at a time (or longer) that we don't get that pleasure. My cold, cold bones were giddy.
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| Thank you for the picnic basket Meghan & Sean! |
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| Thanks for the blanket Mary & Kevin! |
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| We were doing great until the massive grey cloud started creeping in... |
We only lasted about 30 minutes before the first raindrops started. We packed up, headed home and enlisted Eric & Laura to celebrate an indoor picnic on the couch. We turned Skyfall into a five hour movie, it was hilarious and perfect.
It was nice visiting with friends that we've known for so long. There's no need for pomp. In fact you don't even need jeans, just sweats :) After the movie as we were catching up, Laura shared a story about a friend from high school, a teammate from volleyball, who had epilepsy. Apparently, she would sometimes seize in the middle of games. I was blown away! I have been living in fear of seizures. It was as if a seizure was the end of my world as I know it. After this last seizure, I had been feeling like my soul is trapped in an unreliable, faulty physical body. I've been very sad, wondering if my life will be boring, if I will be relegated to second rate sleepy activities. I was not born to sit. I was not born to live in fear. Hearing from Laura that when her teammate had a seizure it wasn't that big of a deal, that they all knew what to do, how to handle it, and that it didn't mean that she had to sit on the sidelines, literally sparked a flame in my heart. I physically sat up straight, started smiling, and felt like those 10 pesky pounds had evaporated from my frame. I mean, think about it - who wants to live on the sidelines? What's the fun in that? I want to be out kicking ass with the team! When people have seizures, almost none of them need medical help (unless there is a rare accident or special circumstance). I've had medical attention for my first one because I was driving and I didn't understand what had happened. Then the second time, again, I was confused. We now know exactly what to do.
Last Monday night when I had my seizure, Dan gently woke me up and told me what happened. Then I rolled over and went back to bed. What I need from my friends is to not be afraid. And, if you are afraid, that is okay, but just talk to me and I'll make sure you won't have to be alone with me. I am very careful to not push my limits, but this is not an exact science - there is so much that we don't know about what causes seizures. You can do everything and still be surprised with an episode.
I do not want to make my friends uncomfortable, but I also do not want to sit at home. I want to live. After this last week when my girlfriend suggested I should stay home from the run and pub crawl, then I had a seizure, I wondered if my physical state was deteriorating. I worried that my good days might behind me, that things would decline with further seizures. I was terrified that my life was going to be riddled with exhaustion and less and less invites from friends. A double whammy. Laura's story perked me right up! All I need to hear is that one person persevered, then I'm inspired and I want to join them in conquering the world!
It's nice to have a new perspective on the same situation. I can't tell you enough how relieved I feel. Even though I'm not drinking coffee, or alcohol - or eating sweets (other than fruit & 70%+ dark chocolate) - I still want to see my friends. I can still hang out at a bar for an hour, or meet up for desert, and I'll have a tea or a sparkling water, then I'll go home and rest. I believe I can have the best of both worlds.
